#ThingsEveryMomSays has been trending on Twitter today.
It's an eye-opener.
Rather than a collection of knowing, winking wisdom, (like we saw in these posters) it is a raw, painful list, one that seems to be written by wounded children of callous parents. It includes various versions of "I brought you into this world and I can take you out," and "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about." "Because I said so," is oft repeated, too.
Others I saw frequently while scrolling through:
"Turn that music down."
"I'm not one of your little friends."
"I'm tired of your attitude."
"My roof my rules."
"Clean your room now."
It's not that I am surprised, exactly. I regularly find myself listening to harsh exchanges between parents and children out in public and think "Is that how you ever thought you would sound back when you decided to have children?" And I also wonder, "Do you even know how you sound?"
I suspect most of us don't. We snap at our children the way we would never snap at an adult, and berate them for wrongs that often say more about our frustrations than their actions. We never expected to become the caricature of a ticked-off parent, and even as we say some of these things we think of them as extrinsic, not defining. Those are the words we speak, they are not who we are, we tell ourselves. At our core we love our kids, and are just trying to raise them right.
And yet, thousands of them are taking to Twitter to tell us otherwise.
These are the things I like to THINK I always say, though I concede that my children may not hear it that way:
"Text me if you are going to be late. I worry about you."
"Did you remember to walk the dog? Recently?"
"Toilet seat down, please. Your wife will thank me."
"I have faith that you will figure that out yourself."
"Okay, I will do it for you, but just this once."
"I am proud of you."
"My life is infinitely better because you are in it."
"I am sorry I screw up this parenting thing so often."
"I love you. "
"Yes, parents have a right to be on Twitter and Facebook."
"Now please go clean your room."
Here are a few of the less distressing tweets from the #ThingsEveryMomSays thread.
Add your own phrase -- what do you hope your child's contribution would be? -- by tweeting them to @HuffPostParents with the hashtag, and we'll add them to the slideshow below.
Follow Lisa Belkin on Twitter: www.twitter.com/lisabelkin
"Never do something you couldn't do in front of me!"
Years later when I told my Mom those words stopped me from going to 'all the bases' she just laughed.
Those are words I tell my granddaughter today....
Honestly, to me the worst thing is self-righteous parent that believes he/she never is wrong. I know my parents were kind of like that at times. I think with them it might just be a generational thing. Also, they had horrible childhoods, and were otherwise wonderful caring parents. I would rather have another childhood experience with my mom who yelled at me once in a while than some self-contained, prissy woman, who never expresses any emotion.
I don't even think you attain all of your mom stripes until you have one hideous public Jerry Springer-style meltdown with your kids, which - taken in context - is not so terrible. I can remember yelling at my teen in the grocery, "You seriously have to stop yelling at your baby sister because she's going to get bigger and taller than you pretty soon and then she's going to Beat You Up!" I still don't know where that came from, other than sheer exasperation with a moody teenager. But obviously it looked horrible, and no, I don't believe we parents are at constant mortal risk of scarring our kids for life by saying the wrong thing, so long as we say the right thing more.
That said, I do think there's a special place in hell for upset parents who berate their kids with "You're just like your mom/dad!" Unless you are saying it as a compliment, shut up.
"Oh, you don't want to do that"-- almost anything
"People like us don't do that"-- becoming an interior decorator; buying a motorcycle, etc.
"You'll never make any money at that"-- entering the priesthood, publishing, academia, etc.
Phrases that still plague my life.