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01/30/2014 06:55 am ET Updated Apr 01, 2014

The 4 Words Every Man Wants To Hear From A Woman

Back when you were in your teens or early 20s, you probably didn't date all that much.

In an environment like high school or college, you were surrounded by men and women who were single and young just like you were. When you found someone, you hung out and really got to know each other before you fell in love and chose to marry.

Fast forward to today, when one out of every four over-50 marriages is ending in divorce. Ladies, if you found yourself part of this generational statistic, when the judge banged the gavel declaring you officially divorced your friends probably told you what a great catch you are. They said that it wouldn't be long before a great relationship came along.

What they didn't tell you is how to attract, date and keep a man this time.

Whether you're new to dating, or you've been stuck in a major dating rut, here are five easy steps to get you out there and start having fun dating.

Step 1 -- Rediscover Your Mojo

You are only going to attract a man who loves you as much as you love yourself, so now's the time to find out what makes you so special.

Start by making a list of all the things you love about you. If you can't think of qualities you love, at least come up with things you are grateful for.

The best gift you can give yourself is to stop comparing yourself today to your 20 year old self. You'll never win if you do. Instead, learn to love everything about you as the awesome woman you are today.

Step 2 -- Learn How To Flirt

Whether you are meeting men online or in the real world, flirting is the best way to get a man's attention.

Online, you can flirt by favoring men. In real life, smile and make eye contact for at least five seconds. This lets a man know you're interested in him and it's safe to approach you.

Step 3 -- Have Three "Go To" Dating Outfits In Your Closet

You don't want to be scavenging through your closet with nothing to wear one hour before you're supposed to meet a man for a coffee date.

Sales are happening right now on winter clothes. That means it's the perfect time to find a couple of mix and match pieces that you can pull out of your closet at a moment's notice to make you feel great.

Choose soft colors or styles that bring out the feminine side of you that men so love.

Step 4 -- Date To Date

A man may not be your next mate, but he can be a great date.

Plus, he can make a great friend who might be perfect for that wedding or party you don't want to attend alone. Who doesn't want a Saturday night out where he buys the tickets and you pick up the popcorn?

Go on dates with men to meet someone new and interesting. At the same time, have fun enjoying male companionship while you're still out there looking for Mr. Right.

Step 5 -- Use The Four Magic Words Men Love To Hear

Did you ever wonder why men were stepping over themselves to help Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With The Wind?

Here's a hint...Scarlett knew how to make a man feel both important and needed. In turn, men wanted nothing more than to make her happy.

Men can do the same for you.

Women have a tendency to ask men for help the same they would ask another woman for help. Women are fine hearing it this way but men hear it as demanding.

If you want a man to make you happy, consider using these four magic words, "I need your help," then watch how this changes how the men in your life respond to you.

If you're like most women, you probably don't realize exactly how men think. What might sound like a total no-no to you as a modern woman is just what men want to hear the most.

Try using the four magic words today and let me know how it goes for you in the comments.

Lisa Copeland is the Dating Coach who makes dating after 50 fun and easy. Find out more at www.FindAQualityMan.com.

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