Gentlemen, how many of you include this phrase, "No drama queens wanted," in your online dating profile?
Ladies, how many times have you seen those words? Have you ever wondered if that applies to you?
The answer and the solution lies in these three questions you can ask yourself about your dating behavior.
Question 1. Have you taken enough time to heal from your last relationship?
One of the worst things you can do when a relationship ends is to start dating right away. It's just not smart because you end up dragging the baggage from the old guy right on over to the new guy.
You can end up talking and processing about your ex -- the good, the bad and the ugly -- for the entire date with a new man. This is when he starts thinking you're a drama queen, rather than a good catch.
When a relationship ends, really take some time to heal before you date. Do this by pampering yourself while grieving and processing the old relationship.
Go out with friends, get a manicure or pedicure, go to a new restaurant you've wanted to try or take a fun class. Buy a pretty journal and write your thoughts in it. I love journaling and have done it daily for years. You'll find if you consistently write, you can discover patterns about yourself and the men you date.
This phase of getting over a relationship can feel really hard as you get used to being by yourself again, but it's is a great time for getting to know the real you that's probably been hidden for a while.
Loving yourself totally and completely again sends vibes into the world of a happy, confident and openhearted woman, which comes across to men as the opposite of a drama queen.
Question 2. Is your dating confidence a negative five or a nine?
The dating game can be brutal.
Exes, dates and even men you talk to online can say things that make you doubt yourself and cause you to forget just how awesome you really are.
Make a list of your best qualities that you bring to the dating table. Once you feel your inner glow coming back, head out for a little outer updating. Try a new lip color, add highlights to your hair, or buy a beautiful sweater that's going to bring out the sensual, alive woman you are inside.
Have fun finding things that make you feel good about you! When you feel good, you'll get your dating mojo back a lot quicker, and it's this mojo from your inner and outer glow that men are so unbelievably attracted to in you.
Question 3. Are you ready to flirt and have fun dating?
How long has it been since you flirted? Probably quite a while, but it's the best tool you have for getting great guys, whether in real life or online, to notice you.
It means getting comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. Flirting again over 50 can feel like speaking a foreign language.
Yet it's your main signal for letting a guy know you're interested in him. So get out there and start talking and laughing with every man around you, whether or not you are interested in him and whether or not you know he is single.
It's great practice! It doesn't have to lead anywhere. And getting in the habit of flirting and having fun while dating is like an antidote for drama.
Lisa Copeland is the Dating Coach who empowers strong women over 50 to attract quality men. Find out more about Lisa, including her new bestselling book, The Winning Dating Formula For Women Over 50, at www.FindAQualityMan.com.
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