The reason I'm such a strong advocate for online dating is because I know it's the easiest place to meet single men over 50. The problem is, no one gives you the rules for being successful with it.
In fact, I've found three common mistakes women over 50 consistently make that end up totally frustrating them in their search for Mr. Right. It's time to change that. That's why I'd like to share these 3 mistakes with you, along with what you can do to successfully find a great guy online.
Mistake #1 - Not Displaying Your Unique You!
Having success finding quality men to date online starts with posting a great profile and picture that makes you stand out from everyone else. Most women usually list their qualities in their profile as a way of getting a man's attention. An example is...
I am a kind hearted, professional woman who likes to travel, be around water, shop, and go to movies.
Although a sentence like this gives a lot of information about you... it reads like a dating resume. It's dry and does nothing to make you stand out. And there's nothing in it that would get a man excited about meeting you.
Here are two examples of sentences I've seen when it comes to describing the men women want to meet.
I'm seeking a man who is truly interested in working on a relationship and willing to give at least 50 percent to a relationship.
I would like someone who is easy to talk to, comfortable in their own skin, and is willing to enjoy whatever life has to offer.
The first sentence is heavy and a man reads it as this woman is still bitter from a past relationship where a man didn't bring enough of himself to the table. The second sentence is very general and subjective. What 'comfortable in your own skin' means to you could be totally different than what it means to a man. It's a broad sentence that, again, won't engage a man to contact you.
Instead, write the list of qualities you want in a man. Then create a story using a couple of those qualities along with one or two of the activities you love to do. This type of profile will engage a man, helping him identify that he's the one you are looking for.
Mistake #2 - Forgetting To Play
Dating feels like a chore when you don't know how to play and flirt with men either online or in the real world. I used to recommend not writing men first because most women would write something like this...
I like your profile. It sounds like we have so much in common. I hope you'll write me back.
BORING! BORING! STILL BORING!
Go ahead and write a man but be playful. As an example, if a man is wearing a suit in his picture, write him and say something like...
I love when a man wears a suit. He looks really sexy.
It's flirty, fun and engaging and a man feels good hearing this. I'll share a secret about men... They love compliments just like you do and this is the type of flirting that allows you to choose the men you want to go out with, versus always being chosen by men you don't want.
You are still a beautiful, sensual woman and flirting brings this back out in you. It's unbelievably appealing to men!
Mistake #3 - Not Knowing How To Relate To Over 50s Alpha Men
I've found most women want an Alpha Man in their life. Why? Because he makes her feel safe and protected and that comes directly from the days of the cavemen and the cavewomen, where a man was responsible for keeping his family safe or they'd die.
Life has changed since then and so have women who are now capable of doing this for themselves. And this has created a huge problem for men.
Why? Men don't feel needed by women our age anymore. And when a man doesn't feel needed, guess who he turns to? That's right...a younger women who can make an Alpha Man feel his strongest and best because he's needed.
Women don't realize that the way they talk sounds like, "Wah wah wah," to a man. He tunes you out and as you know, this only frustrates you more.
But if you really get who men are and you know how to talk with them so they hear you...well, they'll jump through hoops and climb over mountains to be there for you. And that feels pretty good!
Lisa Copeland is the Dating Coach who makes over 50's dating fun and easy. Learn more about online dating at www.FindAQualityMan.com.
Find out whether the dating service does any background checks or fraud scans before a person's profile is posted.
Be cautious if the person claims to be recently widowed or says they're an American stationed overseas, possibly in the military.
Watch out if the person immediately asks you to communicate on an email or messaging system outside the dating site. Some dating sites monitor exchanges for signs of fraud, and a fraudster may be anxious to lure you away from the site.
Do a Google search on the person. You can even paste the text of the email, profile description, or pictures into Google and search to see if similar text, pictures or descriptions are used by others. Some criminals create multiple profiles and use the same information over and over.
Run the other way if the person hints that they are in financial trouble or have another sudden need for money. (This can occur after months of online chatting.) If the person asks you to wire money--such as by Western Union, MoneyGram or Green Dot MoneyPak--it more than likely is a scam.
Check the person's name in online databases of sex offenders, which are available in many states.
If you decide to meet the person, go to a place where there are large numbers of people and where you feel safe. Consider taking someone along with you.
Follow Lisa Copeland on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Over50DateCoach