Why Don't Women Politicians Sleep Around?
Oh goody, another political sex scandal.
Is it just me, or has anybody else noticed that these things never seem to happen to women?
Oh, women are involved all right -- they're usually either being wronged or participating in the wronging.
Yet I can't recall too many instances where a high-profile female politico was run out of office because she couldn't keep her skirt zipped.
Can you imagine the press conference?
Picture it. Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi or Elizabeth Dole takes the podium, her faithful forgiving man standing by her side, as she stoically apologizes for spending campaign funds on a Chippendale dancer.
I'm having a hard time picturing Bob Dole with a hanky and pearls telling the world that, despite her wandering eye, Liddy really is a good wife and a fine public servant.
"This is a private matter. I've accepted her apology, and I'm standin' by my woman."
It's only funny, because it never happens that way.
I'll refrain from comment about the current scandal, except to say, Elizabeth (Edwards) you've been dealt more hardship over your life than any one person should ever have to handle. How you deal with it is nobody's business but yours, but please know that we're thinking about you.
However, this incident, coming on the heels of oh-so-many others (from both parties I might add) makes me wonder, why doesn't it ever go the other way?
I know that women cheat; statistics reveal that the number of married women having affairs is on the rise. But why aren't powerful, middle-aged political women ever caught in sex scandals?
I have some suspicions. First off, they're tired.
Let's be honest here, if you're a 50- or 60-something woman, and you're a bigwig, and you're married, and you have kids, and you have a staff and you have to wear pantyhose everyday, you're exhausted.
You've probably spent your whole life taking care of other people, and the last thing you need is one more man to please. Plus, I'm no politician, but I can't imagine that battling it out all day with Larry Craig or Orrin Hatch puts a woman in the mood for love.
Which brings me to the second reason high-powered women don't fool around -- mirrors.
A saggy, baggy man ignore the aging image that greets him above his sink, preferring instead to seek (or even purchase) a more flattering self-image as reflected in the eyes of a younger woman. But middle-aged women are under no such delusions.
Speaking on behalf of aging women everywhere, let me just say, we know exactly what we look like, and getting naked in front of some smooth-skinned young guy, doesn't make us feel young, it makes us feel old. Duh!
Any woman who wants to recapture her youth knows that plastic surgery provides better lasting results than boy toys (and it's usually cheaper).
But then again, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe every Congresswoman, City Manager and Councilwoman in America is whooping it up right now with an intern in a cheap motel.
Perhaps the real reason we don't see women in headline-grabbing sex scandals is they're too smart.
Men are notoriously careless and boastful when under the influence of lust, but we women are a bit more calculating. We don't brag, and we have a lifetime of experience arranging dates and handling our own affairs without anyone ever noticing at all.
In fact some might say, if a middle-aged woman is doing it, chances are it will go completely undetected by just about everybody.
And as every philandering politico knows, it's only a scandal if you get caught.
Lisa Earle McLeod is a keynote speaker, syndicated columnist and the author of Forget Perfect and Finding Grace When You Can't Even Find Clean Underwear. She specializes in helping individuals and organizations turn angst and dysfunction into happiness and success (no groups hugs or prozac required) For more info - www.ForgetPerfect.com
Follow Lisa Earle McLeod on Twitter: www.twitter.com/lisaearlemc
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Montana Rep Helen Chenowith's affair torpedoed her political future.
And don't forget the dis-Honorable Sue Myrick (R-NC) - adultery with a married man.
Maybe the female politicians are too busy actually working?
lots of possible reasons, but i think it's mainly because society still attributes negative stereotypes to powerful women, a woman in a powerful role is made to seem like there's something wrong with her, or that she's somehow less womanly and attractive, while a powerful man is considered to have additional sex appeal. highly successful women tend to have generally have more difficulty in relationships because men feel insecure about it or want women to choose between them & a career, in the process of getting to the level they're at they've priced themselves out of the market, basically high powered women unfortunately still tend to have a harder time finding partners. i imagine that while we know women cheat, the numbers are disproportionately fewer among this particular group of women for the above reasons. side note, but you'd never see such a woman's husband doing the now customary stand by your partner press conference, i doubt we could even imagine the kind of ridicule he'd be subject to. in some ways i feel that our society just isn't at the point where these factors aren't that big of an issue. alternatively, perhaps women are just better at cheating, or are less willing to jeopardize their political careers over it because they have such a hard time getting there to begin with.
See Paul Peete's Profile
Well just give 'em time, Lisa,
Though women are gaining in political power, the numbers don't reflect their societal percentage. True it is energy sapping to climb the business and political ceiling, but nothing invigorates the spirit like great sex. And yes, mirrors don't lie, but men wanting sex do, and vanity will have a woman believe in her beauty far beyond her ownership of it. Oh, about young men, 20 goes into 60 more times than 60 into 20, so there will be scandals with boy toys coming! I loved reading your post, keep up the quest for infidelity equality, maybe I'll get to participate!
Personally I'd really like to meet a high powered middle-aged woman pol who cheats. I'd love to ask her:
1. Do you use a Franklin-Covey system or is there some other secret of managing your time so well that you can work in a nooner? (I'd love to know, I don't want to cheat I just want to nap.)
2. Do you do it in your office, like Bill Clinton, or do you just have phone sex, like Bill Clinton?
3. Do you promise your lover that you're going to leave your spouse, just so you can get some great stress relieving oral sex? Like, um, well, oh yea, Bill Clinton.
rep. helen chenoweth, from idaho, married, had affair with another married man. all the while she was screaming at clinton. this came out because of clinton. there more, just better at hiding it, i guesse.
Bill Clinton IS pretty foxy, you have to admit.
What makes you think they don't? I've certainly heard of some very prominent women in politics (who, of COURSE, have reputations as good, solid wives & mums) who could embarrass Bill Clinton. (and the 2 I know of are Republicans, but I do not doubt there are plenty of Dems, too.) They're also not young - just powerful. Personally, I think it's the same thing, but people just aren't ready to realize it's not just an 'all men do it' thing - and that it relates to some people & their own power over others. (to be more accurate, presumed power over others, & the power others give them.)
becuase...
1. there just aren't that many "powerful, middle-aged political women"
2. they are not caught
3. they are, in general, just not as horny as men
True about the "not as horny as men" - women tend to be elected to powerful positions later in life, when their hormone levels are declining. It matters. It really does effect the sex drive.
See Paul Peete's Profile
Yes libido has hormonal components but a lot of mens' sex drive is based in the primordial species propagation drive. Marriage and fidelity conflict with the species need to propagate, even though there are consequences to infidelity that border on species extinction(AIDS).
Men and women of all walks of life may cheat, but when they do it's for very different reasons. Chalk it up to biology and the complexities of modern and the not so modern perennial cultural mores. One reason men cheat is because they're hardwired to "sow wild oats" as a biologic imperative. Another reason men cheat is a culturally inculcated misogyny that they've bought into and enjoy the idea of (albeit unconsciously) "sticking it" to the feminine gender, like putting notches on a gun. There's also that "itch" that comes around when a man of certain years is confronted with his own mortality and wants to be "young and wild" again. Women on the other hand cheat, going against their basic tendencies (the desire for security and a stable situation to raise children), because they are unhappy or dissatisfied and not getting what they need in their "committed" relationships. Many an "empty nest" has precipitated feminine marital infidelity. The kids are finally grown, and now she wants something better with her life.
Missing from this article is any comment about the women who have affairs with these married men and why they do it. Sure, a good number of these women are hired, but a lot of them aren't. Why would any woman be attracted to a married man, especially one who's old, overweight and unattractive? Simple. These women are attracted to power. It's a huge ego boost to know that they landed a Senator or Governor or even a President. But that's why you'll never see women politicians caught having affairs. Because there aren't a lot of men out there who are attracted to powerful women. I doubt you'll find any man who's turned by the idea of sleeping with a woman Senator or Governor. So even if Hillary Clinton or Nancy Pelosi wanted to cheat, it's not like they'll have a bunch of young interns lining up for them. Those interns are just the married male politicians. They're going after the young girls.
Who cares about sex scandals? Women! Men only care about them if profits them. Women cheat, but its not news because women only care about male cheating.
IIRC, several years ago a former president of NOW who supposedly was a happily married hetero woman (which for awhile helped combat the stereotype of all NOW members being man-hating lesbians) ended up admitting a long term affair with another woman. So much for battling stereotypes!
I do agree with other posts that the more a pol's fundy religion and (gag, choke) "family values" are worn on their sleeve, the more likely they are dogging anything that moves and have a virtual "Open 24 Hours" neon sign for lobbyists bearing gifts.
Oh - and what about Princess Diana? She was not an elected politician (exactly), but boy did she have her indiscreti
I think her affairs were mainly driven by her insecurities, and not from a power kick. Just my opinion, but when women have affairs they seem to rationalize it quite effectively and gain the sympathy of other women. Diane is one example. The other one that comes to mind is the character Meryl Streep plays in “Bridges of Madison County”. Almost every female I know was so sympathetic to that affair. When I used ask why her cheating on a good man for an exciting time with another is any different from the affairs of most men, I am usually brushed away. :)
Let Princess Diana rest in peace. She is a wonderful Mother and the most popular member of the Royal Family.
Maybe women are just a whole lot better at not getting caught.
Let us put men and women together, see which one is smarter,
Some say men, but I say no, women got the men like a puppet show.
It ain't me it's the people that say, men are leading women astray,
I say, it's the women today, smarter than the men in every way,
That's right the women are smarter, the women are smarted that's right.
Little boy sitting in the corner and cry, big man come and ask him why,
He said "I can't do what the big boys do", the man sat down and he cried too.
The Grateful Dead
Tasmanian MP and Minister of Tourisim and Economic Development Paula Wriedt recently admitted to having a months long affair with her civil servant chauffeur, a married man who is seeking damages related to the affair from the state. Wreidt was separated from her husband at the time. Tragically, she attempted suicide as the affair came to light..
How do we know women politicians aren't sleeping around?
Weren't there stories about Hillary and a long-term love affair with that fellow Vince whatever his name was?
Women cheat on their husbands as much or more so than men. They just may be a lot less arrogant and careless about it.
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