Why Don't Women Politicians Sleep Around?

Oh goody, another political sex scandal.

Is it just me, or has anybody else noticed that these things never seem to happen to women?

Oh, women are involved all right -- they're usually either being wronged or participating in the wronging.

Yet I can't recall too many instances where a high-profile female politico was run out of office because she couldn't keep her skirt zipped.

Can you imagine the press conference?

Picture it. Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi or Elizabeth Dole takes the podium, her faithful forgiving man standing by her side, as she stoically apologizes for spending campaign funds on a Chippendale dancer.

I'm having a hard time picturing Bob Dole with a hanky and pearls telling the world that, despite her wandering eye, Liddy really is a good wife and a fine public servant.

"This is a private matter. I've accepted her apology, and I'm standin' by my woman."

It's only funny, because it never happens that way.

I'll refrain from comment about the current scandal, except to say, Elizabeth (Edwards) you've been dealt more hardship over your life than any one person should ever have to handle. How you deal with it is nobody's business but yours, but please know that we're thinking about you.

However, this incident, coming on the heels of oh-so-many others (from both parties I might add) makes me wonder, why doesn't it ever go the other way?

I know that women cheat; statistics reveal that the number of married women having affairs is on the rise. But why aren't powerful, middle-aged political women ever caught in sex scandals?

I have some suspicions. First off, they're tired.

Let's be honest here, if you're a 50- or 60-something woman, and you're a bigwig, and you're married, and you have kids, and you have a staff and you have to wear pantyhose everyday, you're exhausted.

You've probably spent your whole life taking care of other people, and the last thing you need is one more man to please. Plus, I'm no politician, but I can't imagine that battling it out all day with Larry Craig or Orrin Hatch puts a woman in the mood for love.

Which brings me to the second reason high-powered women don't fool around -- mirrors.

A saggy, baggy man ignore the aging image that greets him above his sink, preferring instead to seek (or even purchase) a more flattering self-image as reflected in the eyes of a younger woman. But middle-aged women are under no such delusions.

Speaking on behalf of aging women everywhere, let me just say, we know exactly what we look like, and getting naked in front of some smooth-skinned young guy, doesn't make us feel young, it makes us feel old. Duh!

Any woman who wants to recapture her youth knows that plastic surgery provides better lasting results than boy toys (and it's usually cheaper).

But then again, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe every Congresswoman, City Manager and Councilwoman in America is whooping it up right now with an intern in a cheap motel.

Perhaps the real reason we don't see women in headline-grabbing sex scandals is they're too smart.

Men are notoriously careless and boastful when under the influence of lust, but we women are a bit more calculating. We don't brag, and we have a lifetime of experience arranging dates and handling our own affairs without anyone ever noticing at all.

In fact some might say, if a middle-aged woman is doing it, chances are it will go completely undetected by just about everybody.

And as every philandering politico knows, it's only a scandal if you get caught.

Lisa Earle McLeod is a keynote speaker, syndicated columnist and the author of Forget Perfect and Finding Grace When You Can't Even Find Clean Underwear. She specializes in helping individuals and organizations turn angst and dysfunction into happiness and success (no groups hugs or prozac required) For more info - www.ForgetPerfect.com