You'll remember last time we talked I said I have cancer, and it's in remission. I'm finishing my book and so many different feelings and emotions are flooding my center. On Easter-Passover I was particularly vexed. I wasn't having a panic attack, but it sure felt like I was creeping ever closer. I was working hard while most were out playing and connecting with loved ones. I started writing to calm myself down, and these words came forth with rapid succession.
Lisa, you need to hear me. Go out for a walk. There is so much beauty to be seen and recognized. Breath rejuvenates and allows the soul to reclaim the body triggered by human emotions and thoughts. There's nothing wrong with paying attention to the present moment, but recognize the moment is only 60 seconds long, and then there is another moment to live. Remember sweet girl, that everything you have created you can release, and all you have released can be remembered if you wish. Remember you chose to come here now, you chose to do this now, you chose to be here now, so be here. Don't doubt your ability to do what is in front of you. You put it there, and it is not misguided. You will give your gift with love and you have time to do this.
I understand challenges and obstacles are lessons, and difficult people are gifts in that they teach me patience and boundaries. I know times of doubt ask for clarification before moving forward. Confusion isn't a crisis, it's recognition for the need to look again and examine even deeper what I think and feel. No matter what I feel, I must remember it is a feeling and it will pass. The same goes for my thoughts. If I move my body, I can move my mind and my heart. If I get stuck in spaces that are scary, I have the choice to move beyond the fear and decide what feels better or is more agreeable to my mind. If I take care of myself, I have more of a self to give to others.
I am healthy, getting healthier every minute, healing incurable and immediate issues today and from this day forward. I hear the call of a long future, the symphony of a success I've longed for that doesn't come with restraints and obligations. I listen within first. I am in agreement with my God, I represent my Goddess, I respect others' beliefs and allow my own to be expressed without insistence or instability.
Remember the love of the blank page. Remember the satisfaction when expressed fully. Remember the guidance that comes through when one does one's dance to the best of one's ability. Stop comparing yourself to others. Give thanks to all who have gifted you with their presence. If you feel alone or you miss someone special, wrap your own arms around your body and laugh or cry as the moment demands. Be open to the next moment, demanding something else. Be free to be unique, different, and individually represented on the planet. The freedom you demand to be who you are, give to others. The desire you have to find love, give to yourself.
There is nothing wrong with you. You are human, capable of growth, sensitive to feeling, open to knowledge, and needing only to remember you are loved and safe. You don't need to remember pain, but if it comes up, embrace it for its lessons, then release the pain and keep the lesson. You are giving a gift. You are not a nuisance. Your life has meaning, is productive, is cherished, and has a reason for existence and continuation. Be grateful for all you've been given and breathe deep to give back. Say, "I am Love. I am Now, and that is enough."
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