Dear Hillary,
I should be your biggest fan.
I grew up in a clan of strong, scrappy, determined, working women. That I was born to a single mother was never portrayed to me as an obstacle I would need to overcome. Nor was the fact that I am female. The message I got, loud and clear, was that I could be anything I dreamed.
I've been a fan of yours since at least the age of 10. I loved biographies. Centre Ridge Elementary had a whole row on the U.S. presidents and first ladies. I don't remember reading the one about your husband, but I do remember reading and re-reading Hillary Rodham Clinton, First Lady. (Ben Carson's Gifted Hands was a favorite of mine, too, but that's a different story.)
Ten-year-old me never would have imagined that 18-year-old me would attend Yale, or that I would spend a summer in the apartment at 21 Edgewood Street that you and Bill shared during law school.
I'm now pursuing a JD/MBA at Harvard. Last week, an opportunity came along to get involved with your campaign. I used to think that I would jump at that type of opportunity. Instead, I hesitated. Then one night last week, I was at my aunt's house in northern Virginia. This is a woman who cried while watching your 2008 concession speech. In a whisper, curled up on the couch watching Scandal, she confessed that she is no longer as ready for Hillary as she once was.
Why these doubts?
It's not that I disagree with your policy positions. I want student debt reform, equal pay for equal work, day care options for working parents, apprenticeships that train workers for high-skill manufacturing jobs, and all the rest.
It's not that I'm averse to career politicians, either. I have the utmost respect for anyone with a passion so strong that they want to dedicate an entire career to its pursuit.
And it's not about the emails or Benghazi, though I certainly am tired of people talking about how it is about the emails or Benghazi.
It may be that I am proof positive that women are hardest on other women, and if this is true I apologize.
Mainly it's this:
When I was 10, you inspired me because you were an intelligent, hard-working and opinionated person who happened to be female. Now that I'm older, however, I've seen that intelligence, ambition and verve are not determinate of success. I've experienced how gender can be a barrier.
And so I'm asking more of you. I'm most inspired by you when you speak openly and honestly about your gender. Lately, I haven't heard many of these candid reflections from you. At the New Hampshire Democratic Convention you said, "If standing up for women is playing the gender card, then deal me in." If you said more things like this more often, I would be all in.
I don't want to hesitate the next time I'm asked to volunteer for your campaign. I don't want to watch my aunt defect to the Biden camp (if he decides to run). I want to feel just as inspired as when 10-year-old me first read your biography. So please do play the gender card.
Please do elevate the discussion. Remind us every day that we need to put more cracks in the glass ceiling.