I'm the mom who never baby talked her kid or made him wear a helmet and elbow pads to ride his bike. I am also the mom that gives her kid choices. Real, thought provoking choices. For his every action there is a consequence and I don't sugar coat anything. (Well, almost nothing is a fairer statement). I'm not completely heartless.
I don't believe in raising a child to have expectations that surpass his effort and he is certainly not entitled to anything that isn't a basic human need; or that he hasn't earned. I'm all about the tough love, because I refuse to raise an unproductive member of society.
When I see children throw fits in stores to get a "prize," or ask for a toy because they were good, I want to smack the shit out of their parent. What's next, gold bars for saying thank you? Not misbehaving or good manners are expected, not a rewardable act.
- Winning isn't everything. There is a bigger lesson in a loss. Learn from it.
- Consolation prizes are false wins, and it is bullsh*t that we have to give shout outs to 8th and 9th place. Do your best and I will be proud regardless of how you "measure up".
- Be kind to everyone; especially mean people. They need it most.
- Who cares if you're popular or what other people think. What you think and believe is what matters most. Never let someone dash your hopes or dreams.
- You only need a core group of friends, and you need to defend them fiercely in public, yet call them out in private.
- You do not have to include everyone. Life isn't fair and everyone is not your friend.
- You can't fix or help everyone, so stay in your own lane. Work on you first and then share that with the world.
- You are entitled to nothing but my love and a roof over your head.
- No, I won't let you win. Learn how to play the damn game. I won't create a cheater or a sore loser.
- Take chances, even if you're scared as shit. If you fail, then start again with a better plan, and pay the "haters" no mind. That is how you grow.
- It IS okay to defend yourself against a bully. It is your right to protect yourself from harm. I don't care what your school says.
- If you ever put your hands on another person; particularly a woman out of anger I will personally kick your ass. You are never too big for that to happen.
- I am not your friend. I am your parent. We can be friends when you get through puberty and the phase where you think you know everything. So basically, we'll grab drinks when you're 30.
- I'd rather hear the truth about you having an underage drink; than a lie about what you did with your friends. I'll even come pick you up if you are intoxicated. Make it a regular habit and you'll never leave the house.
- Your friends and the internet are not always right. You know better than that and do not be a follower of the masses. Be a leader and a person who can influence his environment---not the other way around.
- Learn something new every day---even if it is just asking siri or Google a silly question.
- Apologies always involve ownership of your wrong doing. "I'm sorry", are empty words and they don't mean shit. I will accept nothing less.
- Not everyone will get you. Not everyone will care about you or your purpose. Don't believe that everyone has the same heart as you do, but respect how they are on their own path.
- Love does not conquer all. Life, relationships, career, etc. takes work. Every day of your life is a chance to connect and strengthen a bond with yourself and others. Love alone will never be enough to make something work.
I do all of this because I love my son. In a world where we give trophies for far off placement and kids are "supposed to" invite all 30 kids in their class to their birthday party; I choose to tell him the truth. He will not get everything he wants. Not everyone will like him. He may not always win. That's life and that is okay.