Are you just surviving and you want to get to thriving?
I believe that you are a powerful woman and that it is NEVER too late to start over -- even after a divorce. You are not a failure or unloveable and you certainly have nothing to feel shameful or guilty about.
I realize that this can be a time of "identity crisis" and you might even be in serious lack of self-care. That "old you", the wife, the mother she is deeply saddened by this massive change.
Sometimes we lose ourselves for the sake of marriage and when it ends, we're stuck in a story. The story of "we" and "I" is left somewhere behind us.
Is this an easy transition? Of course not, but that doesn't mean you are not capable of massive growth and progress. Post-divorce is often a time of question marks on your next steps. How would it feel to move past this stage with fewer questions and a ton more exclamation marks?
Pretty damn great, right?!
You are amazing, worthy and valuable, and I want you to start saying "I do" to you.
Here is a permission slip to know that whatever you may be thinking is okay: Divorce your story. Then marry your truth, is what I like to call it.
It's okay to not be the old you.
It's okay to say that being a mom isn't enough to fulfill you.
It's okay to "fail" -- whatever that means.
It's okay to be scared or cry.
It's okay to be epically happy and even laugh.
It's okay to be who you want to be.
It's okay to not be who everyone else thinks you need to be, or take their "advice".
It's okay to walk away from a marriage and feel like you deserve to experience something bigger.
It's okay to say "I do" to your dreams.
It's okay to tell a different story.
Forgive yourself for having a bad day or days and don't feel guilty about the good ones. This is a process and everyone handles it differently.
Today, do one thing just for you: A walk, a latte, a pedicure, reading a book, taking a bath, or whatever makes you feel good.
I would also invite you to purchase a journal or notebook. Choose one that is pretty or makes you smile. Then:
- Write down five to ten things you can show gratitude for each night before you go to bed.
Write yourself a letter. Accept and forgive yourself right where you are. And don't forget to tell you how awesome you are. Read it again when you wake up! Live in a place of being grateful, all day!Now is a time of changing that we to me. It is a must that you focus on all of the things that are going right. Your thrive-ability depends on the kindness you extend to yourself right now. Release the paradigm of who your family, friends, society has told you "is who you have to be". You are so much more than the box they want to shove you in - divorcee, ex-wife, whatever.
Divorcing your story to marry your truth is not always sunshine and roses. Sometimes you ugly cry, but when you wipe away the tears, a new layer has been exposed, stripped and made way for your new life. Now go get it, sister!
Lisa Schmidt is a Post-Divorce Catalyst for Women in Detroit and the author of her own blog. Questions can also be sent to her directly Ask Lisa Here Or, pick up a copy of her free eBook "Divorce Your Story. Marry Your Truth - Navigating Your Post-Divorce World" HERE
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