"And that's a wrap!" says Delbar as she Instagram's the back of her client walking out the door of her studio to her 2 million followers. Delbar, whose name has been changed to protect her identity, has just finished a 2 hour session with an off shore executive who just got back from a 30 day stint in the ocean. Counting down the days until he could see her, you would think Delbar was the love of his life. And to a certain degree, she is. Delbar is a Dominatrix who specializes in whipping your ass then rewarding you with a baby bottle to drink from as she cradles you in her arms. "I know what I can get away with and even if they want me to go a little further in their punishment, I won't, it's not safe" she says as controlling their session is imperative to her clients feeling their fetish has been satiated.
Delbar, which means "Heart Stealer" in Farsi says "I'm like an addiction, the service I provide. Some of my clients cannot and will not go without seeing me. If they are traveling, I'm traveling with them. I am scheduled months ahead of time so that I can be available to accommodate their needs. I just got back from being out of the country with my standard Monday/Wednesday who needed discipline in Italy so he flew me out for 2 sessions as he is just not comfortable being my cyber slave. My clients are so attached to me that I have been described as a mix of heroin and crack by more than just a few of them!" she says noting that the only time she has for herself is when she is either asleep or working out.
I wonder if that is scary or exciting for her as she has a fandom with whom she connects with on social media daily. "It's like what I WOULD THINK it would be like to be a Rock Star. Believe me when I tell you that this Dom Society, although vast in size as it expands throughout the channels of the world within its billions of people who seek to satiate their fetishes, is a condensed culture in which word travels fast and you don't have to speak their language to understand what they want. BDSM and S&M? It's universal."
Delbar brings in $20k for a session involving 4 people and half that price for an intimate sitting with a couple or for one person in a 2 hour session equating to no less than $30k monthly. "I don't just tie people up and whip them, this is more than that, it's therapy. I customize my sessions to what my client needs. I have one couple that come in for monthly sessions prior to any shopping excursions the wife is planning as her husband likes to punish her beforehand for dipping into their finances. So every few weeks I execute her punishment while he's intimate with himself watching from the corner of the room. It works for them" says Delbar as she is convinced the wife would rather take a good lashing than have sex with her husband.
She goes on to say that couples are not allowed to come see her one without the other as this is a service she is providing and not an affair she is having with them. This is strictly business and sex is never part of the agreement noting that a session is only within the paid allotted time as she is on a tight schedule with her clients daily.
Delbar says her career keeps her extremely busy but one day soon she'll be returning to school and would like to major in Psychology. "I often wonder why my clients need to be dominated and punished, the human mind is fascinating when you take into consideration that some of my clients actually orgasm during or after a lashing" says Delbar who is a highly sought after Dom.
As Delbar is undressing from her session and getting into the shower, I catch a glimpse of a word tattooed at the center of her back. She tells me her Mother took her to get the painful tattoo that spells out "lele" 12 years ago. I applaud her opened minded Mother for taking Delbar to get a tatt at which point Delbar stops me and says, "Don't get it twisted! She forced me to get it. She caught me having sex with a boy in his car when I was in high school, dragged me out of it and told me I was a whore. I thought the most that would happen would be taking away my phone or I wouldn't be able to go out with my friends for a week or 2. She took it to another level having me tatted with "lele", Romanian for the word whore when she found out I was pregnant. She branded me saying good girls don't act like that and a whore will always be a whore" says Delbar who had an abortion when her Mother said that a whore had no business raising a child. Delbar says that both her parents were strict and unforgiving people while she was growing up and believed she wasn't worthy of better treatment from either of them as they told her so.
I am struck by how her path in life was laid out for her long ago to become a Rock Star in the underbelly of a dark world needing someone to worship. "I don't plan on doing this forever, finishing college is my dream. But I make a great living with people who allow me to control them for moments in time, making me as much a necessity in their lives as one would need air to survive. Demeaning them fulfills them. Sometimes I get in my head and wonder if the high I feel asserting control over my clients was how my Mother felt when she was demeaning me, you know? But I do have one thing to thank my parents for, they taught me the art of verbal abuse. I guess that's why I'm so good at what I do for a living but not so good in a relationship" says Delbar who is single.
Delbar says the removal process of her tattoo is cathartic with her feeling like she is slowly lifting a huge weight off her shoulders and symbolizing a new beginning, something she wishes she had done long ago.
Twenty nine years young she says she is excited about her new journey with her classes at Texas State University starting this coming spring and will continue her career as a Dom, only now it will be her part time job until she no longer has time for her clients.
"My curiosity as a teenager never should have defined me as an adult. And although derailed for a minute, I think I'm on the right path now" says Delbar.
No longer leasing the studio for her sessions, Delbar says she is relieved she's not on a grueling schedule of domination and notes that she is exactly where she wants to be, in control of only herself and says it feels good to know she is the only one defining her future.
