by Mary Gaylord
Our core team of diverse folks at Living Room Conversations recently decided to practice our craft and have a conversation about nuclear weapons. When Joan Blades, our co-founder, expressed her desire for us to have this conversation the groans from the group were audible. Who wants to talk nukes? Didn't they go out of fashion with the end of the Cold War? Is there really anything to talk about?
Our diverse cast of conversationalists included an "inside-the-beltway" Republican; a recent college grad millennial; a progressive leader and founder of social movements; a fiercely independent Progressive/Libertarian; a Mormon Republican psychologist; and a left-leaning, Independent, stay-at-home-Mom.
In preparation, we began to do some research. A recent Facebook post from an old friend contained a clip of John Oliver on the Last Week Tonight show (2014) talking about nuclear weapons - my re-education on the topic began. Other articles began circulating among our group. Some of the key things I learned:
- First some good news. Enormous progress has been made in reducing nuclear arsenals (down more than two-thirds since the height of the Cold War).
- According to ArmsControl.org there are an estmated 16,000 warheads in existence today (more than 90% belonging to the US and Russia) with approximately 10,000 in military service and the rest waiting to be dismantled.
- Since 1950 there have been approximately 32 Broken Arrows - "an unexpected event involving nuclear weapons that result in the accidental launching, firing, detonating, theft or loss of the weapon. To date, six nuclear weapons have been lost and never recovered."
- The U.S. is considering spending upwards of $700 billion to update and upgrade nuclear weapons over the next several decades.
The above information definitely got my attention. While fewer in number than at one time, nuclear weapons are still a serious threat with the problems of maintaining antiquated weapons, the threat of Broken Arrows, the development of highly sophisticated new weapons, and the danger of any nuclear weapon, old, or new, ending up in the hands of a rogue extremist. Furthermore, by investing in new and improved nuclear weapons might we start a new arms race with countries like Russia and China, prompting them to advance their own programs and continuing the game of oneupmanship?
Armed with research and feeling a healthy amount of fear, I dove into the conversation with my colleagues, not knowing quite what to expect. I know I did not expect it to be one of the most satisfying conversations I'd had in some time. In fact, I walked away with several "aha's."
- The conversation about nuclear weapons is as relevant as ever.
- The topic of nuclear weapons cannot be considered in isolation - it is inextricably linked to the bigger picture of how we treat one another as human beings.
- In spite of how things seem on the "news," peace may actually be breaking out; in some regards we are living in more peaceful times than have been seen in generations.
- We hypothesized about a future, 70 years from now, where there are no nuclear weapons. How could we reverse-engineer this scenario and carve out a path from here to there?
- Optimism is often couched and degraded to deal with "reality." Why not indulge ourselves in optimism and allow ourselves to think about and begin working toward another dramatic reduction in, or even freedom from, nuclear weapons?
- My biggest "aha" moment may sound rather obvious, but here it is - It is immensely enjoyable, instructive, and gratifying to have an important conversation with people who don't see things the same way I do.
Sure, it can be fun to go on and on with like-minded compadres and reinforce our mutual enlightenment. Likewise, debating with our ideological opposites can feel like good sport and there is a self-righteous high that can accompany being "right." Neither one of these scenarios is ultimately very satisfying. Neither allows for the opportunity to learn and grow.
Having a conversation with people I care about and hearing their unique experiences and perspectives, is downright fascinating. In our conversation everyone showed up with an agreement to abide by simple common-sense ground rules and with a genuine desire to share thoughts, feelings, hopes, and fears. No one ridiculed, no one scoffed. This experience was vastly more enjoyable than the other scenarios previously described.
I work for Living Room Conversations. I'm sold on the idea of conversation-as-transformation. Having this conversation about nuclear weapons with my colleagues - my friends - reinforced for me that this process is vital. And it's accessible to anyone who wants to genuinely give it a go.
For those of you who think the fun is in the fight, consider another possibility. The enjoyment of being able to share differences with respect and even joy, is a much better ride - one that has the chance of leading to some real collaborative thinking and problem-solving.
Here's the crux of the matter; do you want to continue to engage in the practice of only hanging out with people who agree with you while vilifying those who don't? Or are you open to having some genuine conversations that have a pretty good chance of producing some powerfully positive outcomes? I hope you'll consider the latter, and like me, discover some "aha" moments for yourself.