To my wonderful mother,
I'm five hundred miles away, and I have those days when all these city buildings feel like they are just going to give out, un-mortar brick by brick to crash down upon my head. Then I think about the time we made an ice cream cake from scratch. It kind of looked like it was going to un-mortar too, but it tasted heavenly--like chocolate and peppermint and whatever spice it is that flavors laughter.
I'm five hundred miles away, and so many times I get a runny nose or a cough or even just a late-night headache. I reach into my desk drawer to pull some treat from the slew of herbal remedies you've packaged up and dropped in the mailbox, a just-in-case gesture.
I'm five hundred miles away, and the sun is glinting bright off the Lincoln Center fountain, all I can hear is city-street symphony, and my feet move with extra kick. I can't stop smiling. I press my thumb to the keypad of my phone, speed-dialing you because right now I suddenly have to say hello.
I'm five hundred miles away, and these tired old sandwiches from the student union are looking pretty sad and soggy. I remind myself that next time I'm home, I should stop making fun of your "Rice á la Tomate." Then I eat the soggy turkey-on-wheat pretending it's your salmon and roasted vegetables. Chocolate chip brownies for dessert.
I'm five hundred miles away, and I can't believe how close it still feels. Mom, you are my support, my healer, my guidance. When we're laughing together--you and I and my sisters--the world falls perfectly into place. For me, a girl who right now feels so many things are out of place, those times are my release--my joyful and oh so lucky release.
I love you,
Liz
Dear Lizzie,
I am honored to be your mom. You have always made me feel so proud. It sounds almost trite and I know how easy it is for you to dismiss any gushing on my part, but it is so completely true, it is worth saying over and over.
My admiration for you doesn't just stem from your accomplishments though there have been so many. My respect grows every time you face a hardship or make a mistake. It is from these problems, no matter how large or small that I have seen how truly remarkable you are.
While life has dealt you a very good hand--family that love you wholeheartedly, economic security, wonderful friends and mentors--you have still had to face many disappointments and challenges. And that is where you shine. I am not so impressed with individuals full of "self esteem" as it has been popularized, as I am with those that demonstrate their ability to spring back from adversity. You have taken disappointments and illnesses and absorbed them, lived with them, and then successfully adapted. I believe that is called resiliency and that is what I find awe-inspiring about you.
So I am asking you as you finish your college years, to look back with satisfaction not only at all the beautiful writing you've done, the excellent grades you've made, the outstanding work you have done for others, the speeches you've made, and the tenderness you have shown your family and friends but also to look at the times you think you fell short and recognize the value in every one of those experiences.
I love you with my whole heart.
Your clear-eyed mom