8 Things That Stop Being Cool After College

You're only as old as you feel. Unless you're 32 and still shopping at Hollister. In that case, you're not just old. You're creepy.

College is full of peculiar norms and once-in-a-lifetime entitlements. But graduation means saying goodbye to the many oddities that define America's undergraduate experience. Your beer bottle cap coffee table, your student discount at Foot Locker -- you can't hold onto these treasures forever.

If you think that you or someone you know may be clinging to a college identity, this list will help you face the facts.

Add your own sign of advanced adult onset college-itis in the comments section.

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Smuggling Alcohol

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On many campuses, RAs pose a serious threat to students’ booze supplies. Dodging that front desk check point has lead to some elaborate dorm window-pulley systems and an encyclopedia’s worth of tequila-filled Trojan horses. But if you’re out of school, and you’re still pirating Captain Morgan in your flip flops, you may have a problem.

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On many campuses, RAs pose a serious threat to students’ booze supplies. Dodging that front desk check point has lead to some elaborate dorm window-pulley systems and an encyclopedia’s worth of tequila-filled Trojan horses. But if you’re out of school, and you’re still pirating Captain Morgan in your flip flops, you may have a problem.

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I Still Do That! That Was Never Cool

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Comments

[emncaity]

07:29 PM on 10/11/2010

That is not a bikini on that bull, dammit.

[Isiah Harper]

09:19 AM on 10/04/2010

Great List!!!! But I think we need honorable mention: Jello Shots, Beer Pong, shopping at Hollister, AE, AF, ANYTHING ED HARDY, Posting drunk pictures of yourself on Facebook, Using Fb to stalk your next date, Still being drunk in the morning, The Hojo,and Hostels!

[genrel1248]

02:01 PM on 10/03/2010

I notice beer bongs are still cool!

[Luis Resendiz]

05:34 PM on 09/28/2010

Oh, I get it. Trying to convince us to buy more expensive stuff. And here we are falling for it! If I want to make EasyMac at 32, then so be it! Do I have to buy the expensive kind? Go to a restaurant? I don't think so.

[dzymzlzy]

03:25 PM on 09/28/2010

Hacky sacks are not cool EVER.

[chiefmanil]

08:14 PM on 09/26/2010

When the inevitable happens and the ocean dwellers take over, she will wish she had kept that dolphin poster, for the dolphins will be the ambassadors.

[Patrick Desmond]

11:43 AM on 09/26/2010

Hmm... let me check... Yup. There are still 5 applicants for every available job out there.

I guess I'm still going to be doing clinical trials

Jerk

[rotorhead1871]

11:51 PM on 09/25/2010

what a great list!! you definately dont want to be the "old" guy at the club. that is creepy! how about the diserdida? or whatever posters??? I remember those and always wondered who believes this sh^&??

[KarenSt]

05:46 PM on 09/25/2010

This article was hilarious! Thanks for the laugh. I'd also like to add IHOP between the hours of 12 a.m. and 4 a.m., Spaghettios, and (for women), shopping in the Junior's department. It's amazing what becomes commonplace in college (and what you slowly realize is suddenly tacky when you're in your late 20's or early 30's haha.)

[Gerald Halloran III]

10:52 AM on 09/25/2010

How is: "Still attending a Dave Mathew's Band concert" not on this list? :)

[c-tom]

02:35 AM on 09/25/2010

A general rule for all ages: if you think about if you're cool or not, you aren't.

[BassguyGG]

11:23 AM on 10/11/2010

Because I love my fellow HuffPost readers, I am going to share the Secret of Being Cool with you. It applies to everyone whether you're in high school or as old as I am (and I'm OLD):

"Be who you are on your own terms."

[veritas88]

12:34 AM on 09/24/2010

dolphins are cool.

[jwadvocate83]

07:40 PM on 09/23/2010

When was stealing other people's food ever cool?

[satanlite]

02:50 PM on 10/12/2010

You know you're a Republican when ...

[Deborah Foster]

06:01 AM on 09/23/2010

With you 100% until I saw the paid research volunteer. As a former researcher, I strongly disagree. Science needs people of all ages. I was a test subject for Imitrex, the migraine headache pill, and Metformin as a treatment for PCOS, after college. They needed people to participate in the whole range of ages of people affected by these chronic illnesses. Discouraging anyone over 25 from participating in clinical trials is not wise.

[kagenin]

07:03 PM on 09/22/2010

Beer bongs aren't cool after college. But Footbag is always awesome.

How hypocritical is it to bash Denny's food, and then shun an exercise activity that burns calories and increases flexibility and agility? There is footbag after college. Its as serious a sport as figure skating, or gymnastics, and far more accessible.