"LOOK, I'M 26, and I want to make records and party and screw around and wear fake Chanel and do what every other 26-year-old wants to do. I don't want to settle down and live in a house yet or anything."
That's Lady Gaga talking to Vogue's Jonathan van Meter in the September issue of the fashion magazine. It's a good piece, with a lot of info and insight into the professional side of Gaga, the phenomenon of her epic shows, her perfectionism. ("I've never seen her miss her mark. I've never heard her sing a bad note. I have seen the technology fail her, but she has never let us down," says one insider.)
I must say, however, it took me 20 minutes to find the Gaga story. The September issue of Vogue celebrates the mag's 120th anniversary. It is massive. One of--if not the biggest--issues I've ever attempted to pick up! (916 pages) Great for Vogue, but if you've skipped the gym recently, beware. Gaga is on the cover, but at first I didn't recognize her.
I thought it was--no kidding--RuPaul. I had to find the cover info on page 194. It's Gaga, dressed in Marc Jacobs and photographed by Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott. Inside the issue she looks more like herself, and quite lovely, especially the nude with the giant pink feathered hat.
Now Hollywood is planning to "movie-ize" another trilogy, I do mean E.L. James' erotic novel "Fifty Shades of Grey." Focus Features/Universal Pictures have optioned all three books. The other two volumes are titled "Fifty Shades Darker" and "Fifty Shades Freed." Well, this tale of sexual adventure, which includes S&M and bondage, is a long way from child wizards or
Hobbits, though there was violence and many scary situations in the "Potter" and "Rings"
movies. But nobody got tied up or tied down for kicks.
It will be interesting to see who will be chosen to play Anastasia Steele, the 22- year- old protagonist of "Fifty Shades of Grey." This role is going to require a lot of intensity and, no doubt, some nudity. Who is available in that age range, more or less? Selena Gomez? Dakota Fanning? Miley Cyrus? Taylor Swift? Rihanna? Kristen Stewart? (Since Miss Stewart, who is 22, is getting all the media blame for her indiscretion with director Rupert Sanders, while supposedly attached to Robert Pattinson, she might as well capitalize on her newly sexualized image.)
Of course, the character doesn't have to be 22, which opens it up for the likes of Natalie Portman, Anne Hathaway, Blake Lively or even--Katie Holmes. Holmes is 33 but looks considerably younger now that she is no longer Mrs. Tom Cruise. Okay--this is not exactly the search for Scarlett O' Hara in "Gone With The Wind," but in 2012 Hollywood, "finding Ana" will be a big deal.
"I saw Phyllis Diller at a dinner party six months ago. To the table, she posed the question: 'How do you get a nun pregnant?' "The table gave up on the answer. Phyllis answered the
question herself: 'You f* her!'" She was irrepressible at 95. Harmless. A real professional who had enjoyed her life as comedy.