You probably know that when Sarah Palin spoke at a recent Tea Party gathering, she had some "crib notes" written on the palm of her hand. Apparently, the words were "Energy," "Tax Cuts," and "Lift American Spirit." Unfortunately for the former governor, she peeked at her helping hand right after she criticized the President for using a teleprompter. Not surprisingly, some Democrats jumped on "palmgate' almost immediately, and some Republicans leapt to Palin's defense. I'm not particularly interested in weighing in on whether her writing on her hand was good or bad. What strikes me - and probably everyone else - is that it's something that it brings to mind school days. This got me thinking. Maybe politicians will follow Palin's lead and revert to the behavior and words of kids.
One of the people who spoke in Sarah Palin's defense was former Miss America Kirsten Haglund - or as she would be referred to in school, "the pretty, popular girl."
Maybe soon we'll hear Nancy Pelosi exclaim after somebody criticizes her: "I'm rubber, you're glue. Everything you say about me bounces off me and sticks to you."
I think it would be fun to watch an exchange like this between Rod Blagojevich and the prosecutor at his trial:
Blago: Am not.
Prosecutor: Are too.
Blago: Am not.
Prosecutor: Are too.
Maybe Defense Secretary Gates will be criticized by someone who will say, "Oh yeah? You and what army."
Maybe after the President urges Republicans to embrace the spirit of bipartisanship, Minority Leader Mitch McConnel will respond, "You can't make me. You're not the boss of me."
When the chair of a Senate committee asks a witness, "Where's that report you promised us?" Then the witness might respond, "Uh, my dog ate it."
During a debate in Congress, after Congressman #1 finishes talking, Congressman #2 says: "I agree with my distinguished colleague." To which Congressman #1 responds, "Stop copying me."
During a filibuster, I can imagine a Senator saying, "Why should I stop texting just because you're talking."
The parents, spouses, and children could get in on the act, too.
A spouse might say, "I don't care if you're supposed to have dinner with the Queen of England. It's your turn to take the kids to soccer."
An irate mother could say to her son, "Senator, Shmenator. Before you go to the hill, clean up your room."
A plea to an Ambassador before going to his assignment could be," I'm not saying you have to do it right away, but maybe over dessert, could you see if the Prince might want to go out with Katie?"
A strict mother might say, "I don't care if you are the Congressional Chaplain. I still say it's wrong for you to get anything pierced."
While the President is going over his notes for a big speech over breakfast, I can just hear Michelle saying, "You know the rules. No reading at the table."
At a state dinner where some exotic food is being served, the Secretary General of the United Nations is told, "Come on. Just eat half of it." He responds in earshot of everyone, "No. It's yucky. It'll make me barf. Now let's talk about nuclear proliferation."
The wife of the head of the CIA: "Well, I wouldn't be so suspicious if you weren't so secretive."
An unimpressed mother: "Surgeon General, big deal. Now, if you were a general surgeon..."
And then there's the one you really don't want to hear: "Come on, kids. I've told you a million times: Don't hide my "football" with all the nuclear war codes. I'll let you stay up an extra hour if you tell me where it is. Give me a hint. Is it in the dishwasher again? Am I getting warm?"
Lloyd Garver has written for many television shows, ranging from "Sesame Street" to "Family Ties" to "Home Improvement" to "Frasier." He has also read many books, some of them in hardcover. He can be reached at lloydgarver@gmail.com. Check out his website at lloydgarver.com and his podcasts on iTunes.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.