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Lois Tarter

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Make Divorce Settlement Not War

Posted: 07/18/2012 12:20 pm

In the world of celebrity divorces, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise reached a divorce settlement in a blink of an eye. While settling a divorce that quickly in Hollywood -- or anywhere for that matter -- would normally be a "mission impossible," Holmes and Cruise did it in record time. Could skipping the drama and signing the papers be the new trend?

It's much less stressful to end a relationship with a minimum amount of dissension. But why do so many take the long, drawn-out divorce settlement route? While a TomKat-style quick settlement is rare, it can happen. When couples make the decision to divorce, they should aim for a quick, amicable settlement. Here are seven benefits to settling quickly and efficiently:

You'll have more money: A less drawn-out divorce process will minimize the attorney fees, which means more money for you, your ex and, most important, your children. Heading into your new life with as many resources as possible will be beneficial to your family.

It helps to rip off the breakup Band-Aid quickly: While it might hurt, it's better in the long run to cut ties to your ex quickly as possible. It's much more positive in life to rip off the Band-Aid than to have a period of long, drawn-out pain and anguish. Living the life you want to live will happen sooner if you start today. Ending your marriage will make you cross the finish line.

You have a greater ability to find love: You will be able to tell new suitors that you are actually divorced and not currently separated. Even if someone knows that you are heading for divorce, you are not divorced yet. They may feel that you could reconcile. Sealing the deal will make them and you feel better about taking your current relationship to the next level.

It's better for the kids: A quicker divorce settlement is always easier on the children. They don't want mom and dad battling it out. As much as you will try to hide it from your kids, you are bound to show some pain or stress if it's a long divorce process.

Your new life will begin quicker: There's something about those three words -- you new life -- that seems quite inviting, doesn't it? You can get to your new life right away with a quick divorce settlement. On the flipside, being single again might be a difficult adjustment for you, so why not get started sooner than later because you will flourish once you get there.

You'll have less stress: I am not the first to say this, but stress is a killer. Ending a breakup or divorce in the easiest way possible will afford you the opportunity to avoid additional drama and stress. Sure, you might feel pressure starting a new life as a single parent, but arguing is a whole different kind of stress you don't need on top of all you're already dealing with.

It's time to party: You can throw your divorce party that much more quickly. I know it might sound strange -- celebrating your divorce -- but you'll want to when it's over. Invite all of the people who lent an ear, hand or shoulder to cry on. Coming together to celebrate will help all of you because your friends and family just want to see you happy.

For divorce party ideas, pick up Lois Tarter's new book The Divorce Ritual by clicking here.

 
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