THE BLOG
07/15/2013 03:11 pm ET Updated Sep 14, 2013

What a Difference a Year After a Divorce Makes

It was recently reported that Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise completed their first year after the divorce was finalized. Many divorced couples don't think that they will survive after the split. The completion of the first year marks an important milestone.

When you're going through the divorce process, it feels like it will never end. Then, one day, you both sign the divorce papers. After all of the aggravation, you get that piece of paper in the mail and you say to yourself, "That's it?" This is what happened to me. However, that piece of paper is important because it marks your first day of your new life. It will always be your divorce day.

Your divorce day signifies a new beginning and the way you use your new freedom is what it's all about. Now, if you have been divorced for a while and are finding it difficult to move on, I suggest making your divorce day tomorrow and start fresh. Here are ten ways to ease you through and help you make positive strides during your first year of divorce.

Bury the Hostility: The first year is an important time to let go of the bad feelings you have about your ex. It won't help you in any way to hate them.

Enjoy Your Children: When the divorce was going on you were probably not completely yourself around your children. It's time for all of you to enjoy each other's company. This is a new stage of all of your lives and it's time to rebuild.

Begin Dating: You're single and you should have some fun. Be open to new people and going out with them on dates.

Choose a Hobby: Find a hobby that is a unique one. There are so many interesting things to collect out there. This will also give you something new to talk about with people.

Go Out More: Get out of your house and spend less time in front of your computer. No need to waste your valuable day on social media. It's nice to connect with people online, but get out there and meet new ones in-person.

Be Involved: Go to more town meetings. You'll feel good after you get involved locally with things that have an effect on the lives of your children, your neighbors and yourself.

See Friends: Grab a coffee or a drink with a close friend. It's important to connect with old friends who know you well.

Don't Think About Your Ex: This one is so important. Thinking about your ex is not going to help. Just think about yourself, your children, those who care about you and others who are in need.

Work Hard: Get involved in your work. Spending some extra hours at your job will help you move ahead in your career. It will also get your mind off of the divorce.

Take a Vacation: You have been working extra hours so plan a trip to relax. A vacation with your kids or by yourself will be a wonderful change of scene. Even if it's just for a long weekend when the children are with your ex-spouse, it will be helpful.

For more divorce tips, pick up Lois Tarter's new book "The Divorce Ritual" by clicking here.