Here I sit in beautiful Southern California, land of the hybrid cars, cloth bags for groceries and recycled water bottles. So I knew it was only a matter of time before the collective consciousness started turning its attention towards the bedroom and people sought to become more environmentally friendly while being REALLY friendly with themselves.
No, I'm not talking about recycling condoms. Get your mind out of the gutter. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth just thinking it. I'm talking about sex toys and other sexcessories that are not only good for you down under but good for the whole planet.
Now I know some of you will think, "Fantastic! Where do I sign up?" But so many others will think, Oh brother, how lame can you get?"
Hey, I get it. I'm not saying environmentally aware sex toys are for everyone. Some people could care less about the so-called GREEN products and think those who do are a bunch of tree huggin', sprout-eating humpers. That may be true. And that's cool. You go enjoy your Hummers (The four wheel kind) and aerosol spray while leaving all the lights on. I'm not here to judge.
But for the growing number of people out there who are becoming more and more concerned with the stuff we eat / wear / inhale / stick in our private places, ask yourself this:
Why play green?
In one word: Phthalates.
What the hell are Phthalates, you ask? I wondered the same thing. Am I eating them, breathing them, wearing them?
If you answered, D) All of the above, you'd be pretty spot on.
Phthalates (pronounced FAY-lates) are these oil-derived chemicals that have been used in paints, in hair sprays, perfumes and plenty of other products. They are also used to soften plastics such as dildos, vibrators and ahem, butt plugs. And not just the grown-up toys, as children's toys have used this chemical as well.
These phthalates have been found to allegedly pose a risk to human health and the environment. How much, no one knows for sure because there's no human testing to see what, if any, is the permanent damage. But scientists have found that phthalates get absorbed into our bodies. So Europe banned the chemical from children's toys permanently.
Plus GREENPEACE, (yes, THE Greenpeace) issued a TOXIC SEX TOY WARNING... (I swear I can't make this stuff up. How hilarious and tragic is that at the same time?)
The organization warned NOT to shove the "Spectra Gel Anal Plug" or the "Crystal Jelly Double Dong" where the sun does not shine, if you get my drift.
So I figure, if it's a health risk to the kiddies, then it could be a health risk to my kitty.
And THAT is no bueno.
So what are frisky men and women to do?
Have no fear. Sex toy manufacturers and retailers to the rescue!
Companies like the Sweden based Lelo and Lodon based CoCo de Mer make all their sex toys with glass, jade or medical-grade silicone, making their darlings toxin-free. Other mega retailers like San Francisco based Good Vibrations are phasing out their products with phthalates and suggest using a condom over your favorite "friends" if you have any concerns.
Because apparently, a lot of you DO have concerns.
Cleo, the owner who runs the online women's sensuality store, Cleosboutique.com, has noticed a change in what her clients want.
"Women are very conscious of their bodies, and with almost all aspects, want to know what's in all the products they use, from makeup to sexual stimulants. It was important that we supply products that our customers feel are safe, which is why we keep a variety of eco-friendly toys on the website."
I guess we're entering an era of Even Safer Sex. Safe sex with yourself.
But the good news is if ever I need a reason to play with toys, I can always remind myself, "I'm doin' it for the polar bears."
Follow Lora Somoza on Twitter: www.twitter.com/LoraSomoza