Everything Conservatives Do Can Be Explained by 15 Monty Python Videos

04/09/2015 02:50 pm ET | Updated Jun 09, 2015

Understanding conservative political lunacy is truly the holy grail! So come on, let's take a look.

1. "Lumberjack Song"

How clever of the Monty Python comedy troupe to have predicted back in 1969 why today's manly conservatives are so homophobic.

2. "Bring Out Your Dead!"

Why Sarah Palin is against Obamacare--death panels!

3. "Right of Self-determination"

"Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony." Nor, for that matter, from some voter-suppressing, gerrymandering, billionaire-brownnosing big-tent revival meeting.

4. "Run Away!"

Sure this could be about Governor Pence of Indiana rewording his religious freedom law, or the gay-hating pizza shop owners in Indiana who have just gone into hiding, but really, it applies to the entire array of conservative overreaches that end in massive backlash from the American public.

5. "Cheese Shop"

There are no productive ideas or helpful bills on the right side of the aisle. It's like there's a sign up that says "GOP" and someone is always yacking about what they've thought up that's going to help the American people, but it never materializes because the shop is actually empty.

6. "Argument Clinic"

Michael Palin = President Obama. Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle and Terry Jones = the Republicans.

7. "The Bridge of Death"

Sir Robin may not have known the capital of Assyria, but I bet--unlike Arizona Senator Tom Cotton--he'd have known the capital of Iran. Poor Sir Robin.

8. "Every Sperm is Sacred"

This one needs no explanation.

9. "She's a Witch!"

In this article in the New York Times, it is explained that Purvi Patel was sentenced to 20 years in an Indiana prison for feticide, a conviction based in part on use of a 'lung float test.' "The idea behind the test -- which dates from the 17th century -- is that if the lungs float in water, the baby took at least one breath. If they sink, then the fetus died before leaving the womb. If that sounds like the old test for witchcraft -- if an accused witch floated, she was judged guilty; if she sank, she was innocent -- it's also about as old and nearly as discredited."

10. "The Ministry of Silly Walks"

"The very real problem is one of money. I'm afraid that the Ministry of Silly Walks is no longer getting the kind of support it needs." Neither are programs that help the poor, the elderly, the disabled, veterans, students, or anyone else the republicans deem silly.

11. "Silly Olympics"

When Republicans take the field...

12. "A Famous Historian"

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. But if all else fails, and you don't like the message, just murder history outright.

13. "Stoned for Saying Jehovah"

So many sinners, so little time. It doesn't matter if the wrong person is getting stoned, just so someone is, and so long as it's not from legalized marijuana.

14. "Hell's Grannies"

Women are violent too! Women rape too! There is no war on women!

15. "Religion Explained in Under Two Minutes"

And finally, we all just need to understand this.

Lori Day is an educational psychologist, consultant, and parenting coach with Lori Day Consulting in Newburyport, MA. She is the author of Her Next Chapter: How Mother-Daughter Book Clubs Can Help Girls Navigate Malicious Media, Risky Relationships, Girl Gossip, and So Much More and speaks on the topic of raising confident girls in a disempowering marketing and media culture. You can connect with Lori on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest.