THE BLOG
03/20/2014 09:19 am ET | Updated May 20, 2014

Open Letter to Me at 43

There are so many meaningful, heartfelt letters floating around the Internet today that people are writing to waitresses, people on airplanes, to total strangers that have been kind and thoughtful or acted with love and kindness towards them. These "open letters" can be written to anyone, teenage children, babies, celebrities, relatives who have passed away or to the writer's younger selves.

This really isn't that -- this isn't that major. I mean for me maybe it is.

Okay, here's what this is.

This is a letter, actually more like a list to myself, on my 43rd birthday.

Yes, happy birthday to me. It's today and I had a lovely morning with my husband and two boys followed by a solo cheapie manicure (heaven) this afternoon. I've been given some quiet time to write and we're going out for pizza tonight.

Forty-three is not some milestone birthday. This is no 30, 40 or 50. No big party, no keg, no new outfit was purchased to celebrate in -- just a day with people I love. And pizza, which I also love.

Each year on my birthday I try and take a look back at myself and the year that's behind me as well as the one that lies ahead -- I do this more on my birthday than on New Year's. Having a birthday mid-February is kind of nice, it gives me a month-and-a-half to ease into the new year and adjust my perspective accordingly.

Again, no giant, life changing things but still... things that during my 43rd year on the planet I'd like to try and see through.

Be nicer to myself.
Ok, kind of starting off with a doozy there after saying this list was no biggie. The daily battles in my head need to stop. I can't tell you how many times I walk into the bathroom at work, catch myself in the mirror and say mean things to my reflection. Then the defender of my head-bully says "STOP BEING SO MEAN TO YOURSELF, you're fantastic." I want to listen to that voice more please. I'm 43; I don't have time for asshole head bullies.

Eat better but don't be all fanatical about it.
I am the biggest lover of Elaine's, from Seinfeld , "big salad" you will meet. I love fresh delicious, healthy food. Basically... I love all food. I'm gonna eat more big salads. But I'm also gonna have a piece of cake or a really good pastry/cookie/plate of nachos when I want to.

Vacuum and dust.
Like, once in a while.

Listen (really listen) to my 8-year-old talk about Minecraft.
"How did that pig get on the roof?" "The village population has really gone down Mommy." I uh-huh and nod and smile my way through hours of one-sided Minecraft conversation. Zombies, Creepers, some guy named Steve? What the hell is this?

Move my body.
I hurt my shoulder like six months ago and haven't really exercised since. Because lord knows I couldn't go for a run, modify my boot camp class or go for a friggin' walk with a sore shoulder. There's a Zumba class that I am laughable at, but in my mind I'm an extra in some '80s Paula Abdul video. I should straight up go back to that class.

Have more dates.
Going to try and not feel guilty about asking family and friends to watch the boys once in a while so David and I can go get a good burger and talk. Remember talking? Not about Minecraft? I DO!

Not question or feel all guilty about buying a really good...
Bra.
Lip gloss.
Haircut/color.
Bottle of anything.

Travel.
Hah hahahahahaha! I know. Every year this one makes the list -- it's been years since I've been on an airplane. Life is full, there's lots going on, money is tight but good God, it sure would be nice to go somewhere fun for a few days.

Try not to question what or why animated characters do what they do.
I drive my kids nuts by having a running commentary when cartoons are on:

"That man with the yellow hat is a saint to put up with what that monkey puts him through."

"The Mystery Machine must be pretty ripe, they never change their clothes and they have that giant dog"

"Will Candace EVER get Phineas & Ferb's mom to turn her head at the right time??? GOD!"

Yeah, I should maybe focus on more important things. Like vacuuming.

So that's all... for now. It's a good list, an attainable list. Nothing too overwhelming here.

Tonight I will eat cake and blow out my candles. Tomorrow I will eat the big salad and ask Jake to tell me more about Minecraft.

Ok... maybe the day after tomorrow on the Minecraft thing.

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