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Lorraine Devon Wilke

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I Don't Love Your Kid

Posted: 08/30/11 11:00 AM ET

DISCLAIMER: I am a parent, the mother of a very rambunctious, albeit delightful, boy who is now, if you're keeping up, off to college. I am a sibling, one of 6 girls and 5 boys. I'm one of the older daughters, meaning lots of childcare. I have many nieces and nephews. My beautiful stepdaughter has a glorious 1-year old. Our house is often filled with the chaos and laughter of children and nothing makes me happier. The point is: I'm not a childless, agoraphobic curmudgeon living alone with the lights off on Halloween who'd rather have a stun fence than a gaggle of lemonade hawking yappers on my front lawn. That ain't me. I love kids.

But I don't love your kid.

You know the one.

That kid who's allowed to chase his brother around the grocery store while screaming bloody murder and knocking over chip racks and those geriatric gals with the walkers.

That kid who's having a prolonged hissy fit in a fine dining establishment, ignored by parents who believe she needs to "work it out herself" rather than intervene for the sake of ambiance, fellow diners and the sanity of the wait staff.

That kid who's drawing magic marker flowers on unsold magazine covers at the local bookstore while her mom blissfully sips chai and mews about "what an artist she is!"

That kid who's learned that caterwauling in public is a sure road to success because Mom and Dad have cow-towed for years, confirming that the screaming wheel gets the grease.

That kid who gleefully dances in bare feet atop the lobby coffee table of a chi-chi country club while her parents assault passersby with those "Isn't she cute?" grins. No, she isn't. Get her off the table and into some shoes.

That kid who's taking acting, karate, French, yoga, and origami classes and never fails to mention how he's a "black belt" despite the fact that he's had two classes. Quit nodding at him, Dad; you're encouraging delusion.

That kid who "just has" to interrupt my deeply personal conversation with his mother to perform his talent show song, compelling said mother to bray "isn't he a little star?" No, he's not and I was crying at the time.

That kid who is the white-hot flaming center of every conversation with parents who extol each talent, skill, accomplishment, latest funny thing, every breath they take as if history is being made. He/she's swell, but how about we refocus on the visiting lecturer we invited to this shindig?

I could go on but you know this kid. You don't love him or her any more than I do. But we're surrounded by these children because we're surrounded by the parents raising them. And it doesn't take much reading between the lines to realize the culprits here aren't the kids, but the parents who've lost perspective. Who can't grasp that their beloveds are less beloved by the world at large. Who've prioritized their delight, fascination, lack of ideas or sense of entitlement above basic decorum, good manners, public empathy and the tolerance of strangers.

But there is another side to this. The parents who are aware, who do make the effort, but who discover that even with the best of intentions things can go awry and that's when the judgmental buzz saw of overly intolerant folk wreaks havoc.

My son was three, entering Tantrum World with a stunning vigor; the setting was a grocery store. I needed three things -- bread, soup, and tomatoes. He needed one -- a cookie. No cookie? Madness. I was desperate to grab my three things and get this living meltdown quickly out the door but before I could, a 30-something man came within inches and literally screamed in my face, "You are a horrible mother! This kid is going to walk all over you and you have no clue. Just tell him to SHUT UP!!"...to which another passing man archly chanted, "Thank you!" This guy continued his harangue loudly enough to gather a crowd until I finally threatened to call security. Awful experience and not one I wanted to repeat. But I did. A few weeks later, at our neighborhood grocery store this time; a similar inciting incident but luckily I was at checkout and escape was swift. But I'd been so shamed by Horrible Shopper Guy that I called the shop owner to apologize. And this is what he said: "You don't ever have to apologize for that boy! I raised five sons and I know how it goes. You did just fine and, trust me, he'll grow out of it." He did and I fell in love with my old local shopkeeper that day.

And, oh yes... kids on planes. We've all experienced the screamers running up and down the aisles for recreation, allowed by parents who've run out of ideas (bad idea, parents). But I've heard people express such disdain of children on planes that they want "no-children" flights similar to no-smoking zones. I get it. But sometimes a parent can do everything right and the situation still goes viral. Here's my son's first plane ride: 13 months old, slept calmly most of the trip, but when the pilot loudly announced our descent, it startled him awake and he screamed from then until landing. I wanted to hold him but the attendant insisted he stay strapped in his seat so all I could do was caress his sweaty little head and feel like a peace murderer. The man behind me repeatedly kicked the back of my seat and made loud comments about "obnoxious kids," but as we deplaned several people glanced my way with empathetic smiles. Clearly they either had kids or at least understood the situation. I was deeply grateful for their empathy. The Kicking Man? May he fall in love with a woman with ten children.

Both sides of this Great Debate have a role to play. Kid Curmudgeons, lighten up. Discern each situation individually (and get ear plugs!). Even the best-behaved child and the most vigilant parent can occasionally hit a snag; your judgment and intolerance don't help. And parents, it's about finding the right balance and that means taking into account not just your family -- including that little darling emptying salt & pepper shakers on the table -- but the people all around you as well. Discipline and artfully placed boundaries go a long way toward lovability. Which is the goal, after all.

Because I still don't love your kid...but I'd like to.

To Lane Aldridge for inspiring the post.

 
 
 

Follow Lorraine Devon Wilke on Twitter: www.twitter.com/LorraineDWilke

DISCLAIMER: I am a parent, the mother of a very rambunctious, albeit delightful, boy who is now, if you're keeping up, off to college. I am a sibling, one of 6 girls and 5 boys. I'm one of the older d...
DISCLAIMER: I am a parent, the mother of a very rambunctious, albeit delightful, boy who is now, if you're keeping up, off to college. I am a sibling, one of 6 girls and 5 boys. I'm one of the older d...
 
 
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Karissa36
Saving lost boys and fighting pirates.
02:16 PM on 09/12/2011
I will never forget a sunny Sunday morning in a small town church. A church so small there was no nursery for the little ones. A mother was there alone with her baby and two toddlers. Her husband was out of town. They had always kept their little ones under control, but that morning the baby was cranky. She managed to quiet him a few times, clearly thinking that minor disruption was better than corralling the other two, and parading them all up the aisle in the middle of the service.

Then the baby started wailing, Mom was beet red and trying to quiet him while gathering up the children's coats to make a hasty exit. The Priest stopped his sermon abruptly. Over the cries of the baby, he told us about how Jesus loved children, how he was glad our church did not have a nursery because children should be welcomed, and Christianity was not just for adults. Christianity was not just for anyone, child or adult, who is perfectly behaved. A true Christian demonstrates their faith by not expecting perfection from anyone of any age.

The Grandmother in the pew ahead reached back and took the baby, who immediately quieted. A high school boy in the pew behind picked up the two year old and put him on his lap. A pack of tic tacs was passed down two rows to the children. All was quiet and content, and the Priest went back to his original sermon.
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Conuly
05:27 PM on 09/11/2011
I've never seen any kids even remotely like that. Where do you even LIVE?
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Nic the wonder puppy
When life throws lemons, throw them back
12:54 PM on 09/11/2011
2 words, A Pet
02:27 PM on 09/10/2011
i didn't read all 16 pages of comments so i'm not sure if this has been brought up but...

i too had little tolerance for fit throwing kids in public, until i had twin special needs kids. then i started trying to understand why kids are freaking out. sure, A LOT of them are spoiled brats who act just the same or worse at home but many--and most i'd say-are hungry or tired. and then there are kids like mine, who just have a harder time away from home. i think we just spend an awful lot of time judging other people without really knowing what's going on.
06:23 PM on 09/02/2011
I can often tell the child who is just over tired, or having a bad day, compared to the kids who stand and scream and demand cookies, toys, etc. I'm more than willing to give any kid the benefit of the doubt, especially if I see a parent doing something to help their child. The mom standing talking on her cell phone while her kid rips magazines out of the stand or the dad playing a video game while their child pulls cds out of racks are crap parents.
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Brianne DeRosa
03:15 PM on 09/02/2011
"Kid Curmudgeons." Exactly! I asked my husband the other day, "When did it become socially unacceptable to actually take children out in public?" I had run an errand to our local Whole Foods with my sons -- ages 5 and 2 -- which bumped dangerously close against the lunch hour. I decided to treat them, so we ordered pizza from the in-store counter, then went to the cafeteria-style tables at the front of the store. My boys were not acting out, making noise, or anything of the sort, but as soon as people saw us coming they started MOVING THEIR SEATS to block us from finding three seats together at their tables. It was shocking. When I did get the kids settled, I got narrowed eyes from several people -- again, there was no disruption from the kids, it was just the act of me having the audacity to EAT WITH THEM IN PUBLIC that got people upset. We stood our ground, and my kids ate with forks, knives, and napkins; stayed nicely seated in their chairs; chatted pleasantly. Until my 2-year-old bit his tongue and started to cry (there was actual blood involved). Then, for the 2-minute disruption of his tears (after which he was fine again), I got death glares and murmurs of "rotten brat." Really? It's the grocery store cafeteria, not the Ritz Carlton, and since when is a toddler with a boo-boo an unholy beast that ruins your day?
11:21 AM on 09/03/2011
We are always in each other's way. It's only natural for self absorbed people to expect others to accomodate them. In a society that embraces aggressive behaviour and snarky comments, we have hit a new low when children are accepted targets. Today it seems that if you are not being rude you are not getting noticed. If you are not being noticed, you may not be gettinhg the external validation necessary to sustain your ego.

How much of this results from being self absorbed and perceiving the rest of us obstacles and liabilities? Would those folks really be better off alone? How much of this is the need to be accepted in a society that rewards aggression and rudeness with celebrity status?

You have to wonder what is next in the evolution of this society's normal human interaction. We have been blessed in so many ways. Sometime it seems we are determined not recognize each other as the best things in life.
03:26 PM on 09/06/2011
so true no becuase a lot of people in this country love to be outraged whenever possible it is like a high
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SrAN
1st time proud pagan mom since May 16
08:49 PM on 09/01/2011
I have a 15 week old baby girl and I can say that my husband and I have taken her to the store and to restraunts since she was 5 days old and many times it is very hit or miss whether she will behave (as in not cry) or not. But I can say that I do not let her sit and cry while him and I finish our meal or pick up the milk. Instead I usually grab a pacifier or a bottle and try to calm her down for the sake of people around me. Sadly it doesn't work and she simply wants to be home. Thankfully I have only received bad looks from people who are obviously not parents (so I take those looks and words with a grain of salt since I am doing all I can to pacify her) and words of enthusiasm from people who have been or are parenting kids (they know all to well what I am going through).
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Hiddenfangs
Four legs good, two legs bad
06:28 AM on 09/02/2011
If you can't quiet her, take her home.
03:48 PM on 09/02/2011
If you can't handle being around a fussy infant; maybe you should stay home, or think about moving to a (mature) adults only community. Not everyone has the option of leaving their infant at home with reliable care when they need to get something done outside the home. It's not like child-free stores and restaurants are especially tranquil places or SrAn was taking her infant to a library.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion; mine is that if you can't keep your fangs hidden, you can bite my shady spot.
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SrAN
1st time proud pagan mom since May 16
09:48 PM on 09/02/2011
I do take her home, after I have purchased what I needed and have finished what I set out to do.
03:40 PM on 09/02/2011
IMHO

What people think of a 15 week old's behaviour says a lot more about them than it does the 15 week old child. Do they expect an infant to behave like an adult? Would we want them to behave like adults?
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Hiddenfangs
Four legs good, two legs bad
08:05 PM on 09/03/2011
I expect the parents to act like adults and remove the disruptive child if they can not calm him or her.
03:28 PM on 09/06/2011
hahaha! totally oh the gaul of that 15 week old acting oput becuase she can get away with it get a grip people or grow a set
brw1970
Repeal the 16th Amendment!
06:12 PM on 09/01/2011
What is worse than a child having a tantrum is when the "parent" is having a massive hysteria break down because of their child's behavior.
wordsalad12
Caring for innocent life after they are born.
02:23 AM on 09/12/2011
yes, sometimes it does happen, partly from frustration and helplessness, and partly from guilt about ruining the moment for those around you.
05:48 PM on 09/01/2011
Though I hear you, my reaction to the kid going whack is akin to hating the sin but loving the sinner. I also squarely outsource the blame where i belongs - to the parents. They should be in control even it the kid is out of control. Always be prepared for a meltdown. Parents, after all, are responsible not only for nurturing and guiding their child but for teaching the golden rule. The world would be a better place if we all adhered to that one!
03:14 PM on 09/01/2011
My eldest kids were quite well behaved when I took them food shopping. If they behaved, they got a treat. If not, they didn't. It only took one time of the misbehaving kid watching the better behaving kid eat a treat that they didn't get to learn a lesson - it was loud in the car that one time.

The kids liked to play hide and seek in the store. They hid. I had to find them. I restricted them to the aisles where they couldn't do any damage - toilet paper, paper towels, etc. They would rearrange the displays to make a hidden cavity behind the product display. They were very good at it too. More than once I watched people select product in front of them without every noticing them further behind the product. After I found them they had to reassemble everything neatly.
12:07 PM on 09/12/2011
I'm sorry, I don't think that allowing your children to play hide and seek anywhere in the grocery store is appropriate. You may not have thought they were disturbing anyone but I doubt that is true. What is wrong with teaching your child to walk with you and letting them help you find the items on your list? That is what I consider appropriate behavior in the grocery store or in any store.
03:13 PM on 09/01/2011
I agree it is all about the parents and how they handle the situation. I know several of THOSE kids, and am proud to say most days my 2 are not THOSE kids because my husband and myself don't allow them to disrupt everyone else around us. They learned early how to behave in public and that they don't need our constant approval. I find that there are some friends kids that I don't like to do things with because they are THOSE kids, but it just isn't worth saying anything to the parents because frankly they aren't going to change until they realize on their own what they need to do to have good kids.
10:30 AM on 09/01/2011
I am with dmherb.
Children will behave as badly as they are allowed to....end of story.
I never allowed my children to have tantrums. I am no tiger-mom, but kids will learn "that look" in your eye pretty fast if you nip bad behavior in the bud. My sons are now emotionally healthy, successful and mature young men, and despite unwavering and firm rules, we are all also best friends. You can have both if you just make solid consistent rules and do not waffle.
Parents are just too lame to say "no" these days......probably as a self-serving need to not look "mean", or just a lack of a spine.
Give your children well-defined limits and they will feel safer and will be less likely to act up. They NEED reliable discipline to feel safe. The boundaries you set will help them learn to set their own one day. Discipline is a gift and a safety net to kids and many parents do not get that.
The parents who giggle at their toddler screaming in the restaurant are the worst.....rewarding bad behavior has become easier than being the "bad"cop", sadly. Lame.
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dmherb
I don't even know how to read...so...yeah
09:20 AM on 09/01/2011
Maybe I'm alone in this, but my mother never allowed me to throw a tantrum for more than 3 seconds in public before I was dragged out of the public place. It took one look from her to know I was in trouble when I got home.
09:01 AM on 09/01/2011
Wow, many of the comments on here are incredibly judgmental. I was a server throughout high school and college, so I fully agree that poorly behaved children in a restaurant are irritating and dangerous (running wild while servers carry trays of food). However, a distinction should be make between taking a child to a restaurant (which is usually optional) and taking a child to a grocery store (which is sometimes necessary). There are many single parents who would love to go grocery shopping without their children, but that is not always possible.

I always tried to go shopping without my twins, but occasionally I had to bring them along. I remember one time when they just turned two and they had just quit using their pacifiers to go to sleep. Thus, they were very cranky. They were not listening at all at the store and I had tears welling up in my eyes from frustration. Then I noticed an older lady staring at me. Prepared to get an earful about my poorly behaved children, I apologized for their behavior and explained that they hadn't been sleeping because I took their pacifiers. The lady smiled, put her arm around me and said, "Honey, it's OK. I just quit smoking, so I know what they are going through." I wish more people could be as understanding as this lady who turned a possibly ugly situation into a positive one.
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Hiddenfangs
Four legs good, two legs bad
07:29 PM on 09/01/2011
It's called having a friend or sitter watch your kids or go shopping when the kids are quiet. If your children misbehave and you can't quiet them, you leave the store. No one else should have to deal with your children screaming and sobbing through a store. Why do you get to ruin everyone's shopping because your children are cranky?
08:30 PM on 09/01/2011
I'm just saying that sometimes things don't go as planned. You can go shopping when the kids are quiet, try to get that gallon of milk, and then all hell breaks loose. I don't let them get away with stuff and I am actually a very strict parent. We are almost always complimented on our children's good behavior at restaurants, church, etc. I just wish that people would be slightly more understanding of parents who are doing their best, even if their kids aren't acting perfect 100% of the time. All the people who are so judgmental are probably also the same people who would give Hillary Clinton a standing ovation if she spoke about it taking a village to raise a child. Yet, heaven forbid those same people have their transcendent experience of choosing a perfect tomato ruined by a child begging for candy. The horror!!!! Hillary would be ashamed.
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SrAN
1st time proud pagan mom since May 16
08:45 PM on 09/01/2011
Some people dont have the luxury of having someone available everytime they have to run into the store with the children after they are picked up from daycare. It happens and parents never know when the child might have a melt down. It is the parents responsibility to get the child, especially older ones, back in line but when you are dealing with young children or babies the only way they have to tell you that something is wrong is by crying. So how about if the sound is making you mad then how about you leave so listening to them won't upset you so.
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08:17 AM on 09/01/2011
Amen!