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Lorraine Devon Wilke

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Politics Proves: Sex Terrifies the Religious

Posted: 03/15/2012 3:54 pm

Let's get honest and quit dancing around the issue with statements about "religious freedom" and "war on Christianity" and "saving our flock from government intervention."

Sex terrifies the religious.

Oh, they're having it, pretty much like anyone else, but sex as a concept terrifies Catholics, selected Protestants, certainly Mormons (though perhaps not their bigamizing brethren); surely there are issues in Islam, I don't know from Buddhists, and though I can't speak for Judaism, I invite any adherents to weigh in on the topic.

And I'm not being glib or silly here; I'm dead serious. When towering nuns tell six-year-old children that having "impure thoughts" is a sin worthy of "burning forever in Hell," that's a big problem. Using fear of sex to keep adherents from, hopefully, having it, seems a slightly terrifying way to deal with this most innate element of human nature. Maybe it's just me.

TheWashington Post ran an article today entitled: Catholic Bishops Say Fight Against White House Mandate a Top Priority. What struck me was the phrase "top priority." The ludicrous idea that at a time when the world is staggered by war, rampant poverty (much brought on by overpopulation), incurable diseases, terrorism, economic tsunamis, actual tsunamis, immigration conundrums and the battle for civil rights for many, this is their "top priority"?? How stunning to make the insurance mandate for women's healthcare "the most significant item on their agenda," as a Sister Mary Ann Walsh of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops stated.

But it ain't about sex.... no, no, please... it's about "religious freedom."

Uh huh.

What a predictable and weary smokescreen. "This dispute is not about access to contraceptives but about the government's forcing the church to provide them," the Bishop's statement declared. Except that that is WRONG.

The government is not forcing the Church to provide them; it's giving the Church an option out and leaving it to the insurance company to provide them. To continue to twist and turn this situation into a false and baiting rallying cry for "religious freedom" is cynical at best, fraud at worst. But, hey, screw truth; it's given them their "top priority." And other Christians are jumping on the bandwagon. It's a big old jolly hayride of obfuscation and falsehood all wrapped up in the supposed victimization of the religious as opposed to the neutral protections of all. Let's not get messy old truth get all gummed up in there!

Odd, though, that a Catholic Church beset by so many problems within its own walls -- pedophilia, alcoholism, sexual abuse, dropping numbers, sexism and misogyny; younger generations fleeing in record numbers -- would make the fight against birth control a "top priority." Actually, it is beyond ludicrous; it is deflective and counter-productive. It is also about controlling sex... that terrifying sex.

Only a clueless hierarchy could maintain this transparent farce. When the majority of women within its fold already use birth control, when the bulk of its congregation selectively chooses which mandates they will actually be mandated by, when responsible family planning is seen not only as an essential but personal choice, their outdated, punitive and anti-women stance is as regressive as it is destructive.

But let's get back to my original thesis and frame this more honestly: the biggest fear, the biggest sin in Catholicism, maybe all of Christianity, is... SEX. Seriously. Catholicism has, inexplicably, made sex one of the potentially greatest crimes one can commit, leading to the illogical demand for celibacy in the priesthood (likely a reason for the compulsive sexual acting-out), celibacy for its nuns, a demand for no use of birth control by its married flock, the assignation of MORTAL SIN (on the same level as assigned to cold-blooded murder!) to any sex outside of heterosexual marriage (and specifically for procreation), the denunciation of homosexuals as perverse, the terrorizing of children on the topic of SEX = SIN... the list goes on.

Interesting, isn't it, that this Church so intent on managing the sex lives of its adherents is run by men and women who are not allowed to have any?

So these sexless leaders and spokespersons who have no (open) experience with sex, no experience with childbirth, raising a family, affording a family, balancing the needs of the children they have against the potential of more coming along if one chooses to have sanctioned and "unbirth-controlled married sex" with their heterosexual partner, these leaders and spokespersons are the ones making it a "top priority" to see to it that Catholic women damn well cannot get birth control by way of their insurance if they work or go to school in a Catholic organization.

Yep, there's some religious freedom there.... kumbay-effin'-ya, my Lord.

I was raised Catholic and know from which I speak. The systemic aversion to one's sexual human nature is just one of the many reasons I left as soon as I was old enough to walk out the door. When grade school children are browbeaten into "confessing their sins" for fear of damnation, I got a problem with that. When young marrieds are told in pre-marriage conferences that procreation is the only reason for sex, you're losin' me there (so post-menopausal women and their husbands are just out of luck??). When teenagers curious about their developing bodies are ignored, dismissed or told simply to "pray and wait until you're married," we're sending those same teenagers toward secretive sex, too often into unwanted pregnancies, and right out the church's doors. As a modern, ethical and highly moral person, I cannot, for the life of me, understand how SEX became such a subject for fear, manipulation and oppression. One need only look at the rampant sexual abuse issues within this same Church to see some of the very tragic and hypocritical results of this folly of fear.

Every religion has their good and bad; I am also aware of the many positive works of the Catholic Church and the many wonderful, loving people who remain loyal to it, even if in disagreement with many of its mandates. I have family who are still members and dear friends who remain steadfast. Unlike me, they believe they can still embrace certain aspects of the faith without accepting it all. They compare it to "being an American... we don't agree with or embrace everything about our government but we still call ourselves Americans!"

Except religion is different than government. We have a choice to belong to or defect from religion and it doesn't involve expatriation to another country. We don't get to vote the Pope out of office or legislate away an errant policy. To identify oneself as a member of a religion, you are identifying yourself with that entire religion. And when that religion is oppressive, backward and punitive, I, myself, have no willingness to accept that identification. My suggestion has always been to follow Martin Luther's lead and take the good of Catholicism, reject the bad, and start a new faith, call it, say, "Paul's Loving Church," or something like that. So far no one in my family has jumped on the suggestion.

But regardless of its good, until it stops punishing its adherents for being sexual beings, until it helps its children understand their inherent natures with love and understanding, until it removes SEX as a sin to be controlled and marginalized, it will continue to contribute to the overpopulation of often poverty-stricken nations, the destruction of families who cannot afford the children they already have, the oppression of women who attempt to control their own reproductive lives, and the flight of younger people who refuse to view sex through the filter of sin and damnation.

And it will continue to engender the antipathy of millions who view this Church not only as antiquated and regressively paternalistic, but one that does not serve well those for whom it remains their sustaining base of faith.

 
 
 

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Let's get honest and quit dancing around the issue with statements about "religious freedom" and "war on Christianity" and "saving our flock from government intervention." Sex terrifies the religious...
Let's get honest and quit dancing around the issue with statements about "religious freedom" and "war on Christianity" and "saving our flock from government intervention." Sex terrifies the religious...
 
 
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01:09 AM on 03/22/2012
Does anyone know what Bible verse requires Catholic priests to be celibate? I've looked, but never been able to find one. St. Peter the first Pope was married if I remember correctly and for many years the church did not require that priests were celibate.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
liberalbarbwire
living for the day!!!!
09:25 PM on 03/17/2012
i'm religious and it doesn't terrify me
02:23 PM on 03/17/2012
"I was raised Catholic"="I only have child's understanding, sad
people like to believe what they want, what suits their lifestyle, fine but let's not pretend a child's understanding is sufficient. Like every schmo I meet who had a bris but hasn't been to Synagogue in years lecturing me.

Let's expand....
I had a lemonade stand so I know business
I played little league so I know baseball
I took piano lessons until the age of 12 so I know music
03:28 PM on 03/17/2012
Why do you presume the writer has only a child's understanding? And even if your silly comparisons are valid, seems a whole lot of people who've never been in government have a lot to say about it. All it takes is reading, watching, and educating yourself to have some credible perspective. Not hard to have perspective.

Also seems to me that the many comments from adults in agreement with her indicate she's hit a nerve. You don't have to agree, but a great many people do and I would imagine that's because they've had, witnessed or know of similar experiences and attitudes from the CC.

I don't think one has to look very far in this country to see the fear of sex shown by the CC and other religions. Just their attitudes about birth control and women's healthcare prove that. You can be dismissive, but for many of us the proof is in what the CC has done and continues to do. If you haven't had that experience or you're not concerned about religious groups trying to control law, that's your right. Sounds to me like this writer, though, is concerned. As am I. As are many people below leaving comments to that exact point.
03:56 PM on 03/16/2012
Your comment about all Christians fearing sex was rather uninformed. If you were to set your presuppositions aside, you would see that the Bible has plenty of enthusiasm for the topic. The Song of Solomon, among other passages, are frankly erotic...

What Christianity rejects is your opinion that freedom means open season sex. Easy come easy go sexuality is also repressive, also damaging emotionally and spiritually. The birth control pills you so widely tout come with their own list of health risks, most of which are not adequately addressed.

If you want women to have the responsibility for their own lives, great. So do I. Let them pay for the birth control of their choice. Forcing anyone else to pay for it-- whether that be insurance companies, the government, employers-- is just another step away from the personal choice you claim to be protecting. I should not have to pay for your sex. You shouldn't have to pay for mine. And you shouldn't have to pay for the children I have, nor I yours. The real issue here, beneath all the firestorm about who does what in bed, is that the money for these pills has to come from somewhere. And it should be from the pocketbook of the women using the pills.

I can't speak for every woman in the Church but the Christian women I know-- myself include-- are sex-loving, satisfied, and not the least bit damned for it.
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oldwhitefemdem
Oldy for marriage equality
06:31 PM on 03/16/2012
Whether the suggestion was explicit or implicit, I believe this author was suggesting that the RC Church has more than its share of judgement, strictures, bullying, rules and regulations and all of those impact behavior and self-awareness.
08:36 AM on 03/19/2012
you are spot on...amen and amen

from another satisfied Christian married woman
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mommadona
I paint. I blog. Therefore, I am.
03:00 PM on 03/16/2012
One of the clearest expressions of righteous anger I've seen. Kudos, woman!
01:29 PM on 03/16/2012
Give it a rest. How many religious believers take their churches ridiculous puritanism seriously? Religion is about the supernatural, about ritual, mystery and metaphysical thrills. I'm sick of the same old line. Go to church, enjoy the liturgy, enjoy the metaphysical thrills and the spookiness and don't pay the least attention to the moralistic claptrap that the trained monkeys up at the altar spout. That's the way most of us Christians play it--even if most don't admit it.
11:32 AM on 03/16/2012
Terrific treatise, Lorraine! I love how the Catholic Church and other religious institutions want to run everyone's life...the last time they succeeded in running everything it was referred to as The Dark Ages wasn't it?
11:14 AM on 03/16/2012
I was born & bred in a conservative Asian Muslim society where my sex education was non-existent. Those of us who dared break from the mould were given every unsavoury name under the sun whilst being silent heroines to the rest of us eager and curious to learn of one of nature's most natural activity. I would have done it myself if I weren't sgp terrified of getting pregnant
02:08 PM on 03/16/2012
*continued* - I would have done it myself if I weren't so terrified of getting pregnant but there were no readily available contraception as there are now. I get so tired of hearing that anything that steered away from the norm could be considered a catastrophy of sorts, especially when it comes to sex. Seeing as how the divorce rate keeps rising, if attitudes towards sex and religion don't change soon, it will just keep on rising. The days of us women biting our lips and bearing with it are over.
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oldwhitefemdem
Oldy for marriage equality
06:36 PM on 03/16/2012
And if the divorce rate isn't actually rising, the marriage rate is declining. More women live alone now than at any time in history. (I'm talking in relative rates in all these cases and about the U.S.)
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gloriaswanson43
Ask and you will get more info.
10:02 AM on 03/16/2012
Thank you for this.
09:32 AM on 03/16/2012
"Every sperm is sacred..."
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Fenrir Lokison
I luv the sci fi of Evolution and the Big Bang
01:43 PM on 03/16/2012
For it is life. What we come from.
08:01 AM on 03/17/2012
I was referring to the song from Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life." Check it out.

"Let the pagans spill theirs on the dusty ground.
God will make them pay for each sperm that can't be found."
09:28 AM on 03/16/2012
The church hates birth control.They want women to breed more church goers to be controled by the church.If we look at the muslim countrys that have a religion based government we see this is not the way to go.The church takes away freedom.It also treats women as 2nd class.
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Fenrir Lokison
I luv the sci fi of Evolution and the Big Bang
01:47 PM on 03/16/2012
Ignorance is not a pretty thing. Here is something for enlightenment...

While what you say is true to SOME misguided and/or manipulative followers, the fact of the matter is that most do not do it for that. Most people do it for the same reasons why any human being want to. They want someone to carry on life. Someone want heirs. Others want someone to live their life through. Others do it because it is instinctive for them. Others to make a point.

False. Most churches promote women to be in places of leadership and guidance. That they hold men and women to the same levels of rights and freedoms.

What freedoms do you think the church take away?
08:30 PM on 03/16/2012
The christian church, only allows men to be preachers and women can only teach children,not men.This shows how churches make women 2nd class.People may want to have 1-2 children,but most cannot afford to support more.If women don't have birth control they have no control over their own bodys or lives.
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SecularAdvocate
Media Watcher
09:05 AM on 03/16/2012
I think what really terrifies the religious is not just sex but what they see as the whole ghastly business of being alive. It's self-disgust sanctified. Pretending that we are other than animals is what religion is all about. This is why the religious are so furious to deny evolution.

What a horrible way to spend your one and only chance of existence, being disgusted by it, seeing it as just a series of tests that will qualify you for the heaven team.

To slaver over the fake concept of escaping your body to be transported to some bleached out theme park with endless piped harp music, forever - that's a sadness beyond imagining.
09:02 AM on 03/16/2012
Are religions afraid of sex?
Maybe they just face the fact that sex, even casual sex, carries consequences. (physical, emotional,)
Maybe they respect the consequences.
And others mistake the respect for fear.
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upset99
“Love is the absence of judgment.” Dalai Lama
08:09 AM on 03/16/2012
Excellent piece.

I saw this coming in the mid 90s. This has not happened by accident. Ralph Reed, the former President of the Christian Coalition, in his book, "Active Faith" and Pat Robertson's "The New Millennium" lays out the vision.

A certain type of "Christian" invaded the Republican Party in the late 1980s at the Precinct Level and they have been getting stronger. Their allies are conservative Catholics since the Conservative and Evangelical Christians only make up about 15% of the Population but they are well funded and very organized. They get their marching instructions from their Preachers.

Now, 20 years later, the Catholic element of the movement is now making their demands. We are sliding into a theocracy and dont even know it.

The American public needs to wake up and VOTE. I am not a big Fan of the Democrats BUT they are better than the typical Republican.
01:00 AM on 03/22/2012
Ralph Reed, what happened to him again? Oh yeah, Jack Abramoff. Thank goodness.
08:03 AM on 03/16/2012
You know, just when I think this country has evolved beyond stereotyping whole groups as "all _____________ are this way" I read something like this, and all the people who agree with it and I wonder how far we've come from the Purtians, really.