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Lucille Lang Day

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Married At 14

Posted: 07/28/2012 11:28 am

The following text has been excerpted with permission from, "Married at Fourteen: A True Story," by Lucille Lang Day.

At thirteen, in juvie for running away, I concluded that marriage would be my ticket to adulthood.

At Al's Drive-in the following year, I met Mark, a 16-year-old high school dropout. "If you don't let me marry Mark, I'll run away again or get pregnant. I'm not bluffing," I told my parents so many times that it became a sort of mantra.

In September 1962, the week before I should have started ninth grade, Mark and I drove from Oakland, Calif., to Reno with my mother in the backseat. I didn't know why, but she was on my side now. I thought maybe she wanted to get rid of me. I couldn't stand to be around her very long, and I thought the feeling was mutual. Then again, maybe she knew how important this was to me and just wanted to make me happy. My dad didn't think my getting married was such a great idea, but it was two against one, and he was going along with the plan.

About 10 other couples were in line ahead of us to get their marriage licenses. When we reached the front, I said I was 16 and Mark said he was 18. Both of our mothers were present to confirm this, and our license was issued as quickly as everyone else's. I think now that Mark's mother lied because she thought my parents were more affluent than they were (we lived in Piedmont, Calif., a town known for its mansions).

I thought ours was a unique and wondrous passion. Antony and Cleopatra, Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning, F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda, step aside! Mark was the prince and I was his princess, and our wedding would fulfill the promise of our extraordinary love.

The sky was a luminous blue as we entered the First Methodist Church. Our mothers asked the organist to play "I Love You Truly." I'd have picked "Love Me Tender," but I wanted our mothers to be happy. Standing at the altar, I found it hard not to giggle. When I knelt, I thought my tight-fitting dress would rip, but it held. I stood again, and Mark put the ring on my finger.

We had a four-day honeymoon at Mark's dad and stepmother's house. For dinner the first night, I served leftover macaroni and cheese I found in a Corning Ware dish in the refrigerator. I left it in the oven too long and it burned. I didn't know how to get the black stuff off the dish, so I washed and dried it, then put it back in the cupboard with the last of the charred macaroni still stuck to the bottom.

I didn't want to be seen naked, and neither did Mark. I was embarrassed by my small breasts. I don't know what his problem was. If I wasn't wearing a nightgown or blouse when we made love, I put a pillow over my chest to cover my breasts. Mark always made me close my eyes while he pulled his pants up or down.

In the delivery room 10 months later, I cursed everyone I could possibly blame: Mark for getting me pregnant, my mother for failing to warn me about the pain, and Dr. Howard for postponing the anesthesia discussion.

With my first hard push my water bag splattered, and I let out a long, piercing shriek. The anesthesiologist, in his neat green smock, said, "Why don't you shut up?"

"F--- you!" I screamed.

"Breathe deep," he said, clamping a gas mask over my face.

Ten minutes later, when I woke up, Dr. Howard was stitching me up. "You have a little girl," he said, then told the nurse to show me the baby.

"She's lovely," I said, looking at my wrinkly pink daughter. "I'd like a cheeseburger and milkshake now." I had awakened ravenous into motherhood.

On a rainy March afternoon when Liana was seven months old, Mark and I had an argument in the kitchen, and he got a wild look in his eyes. Before I could figure out what that meant, he drew back his fist and slugged me in the face. I saw stars. Then everything went black and I fell on the floor in front of the refrigerator.

When I came to, the world was still black and I thought Mark had blinded me, but after a few minutes my vision returned. I said, "You had no right to hit me." He was no longer my husband, but an unfamiliar being with heavy breath and narrow eyes. "You got what you deserved," he said. Afraid he might do it again, I didn't argue. I went to the bathroom to examine my puffy red cheek and blackening eye, and I knew this was not the life I wanted.

Below, Lucille on her wedding day at age 14.

2012-07-28-4aMarkLucyWedding.jpg

 
FOLLOW WEDDINGS
The following text has been excerpted with permission from, "Married at Fourteen: A True Story," by Lucille Lang Day. At thirteen, in juvie for running away, I concluded that marriage would be my tic...
The following text has been excerpted with permission from, "Married at Fourteen: A True Story," by Lucille Lang Day. At thirteen, in juvie for running away, I concluded that marriage would be my tic...
 
 
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GrapeSoda
It was his sled.
06:25 PM on 09/12/2012
In the wedding photo, she looks scared.
01:20 AM on 08/03/2012
I think many readers here have missed the point. I find Lucille Day's book to be an entertaining odyssey in which the author challenges stereotypes and overcomes obstacles in a quest for fulfillment. The message is that even people who have been stuck in terrible ruts can get out of them and lead rewarding lives.
06:39 PM on 07/31/2012
At fourteen I had sex with the paperboy who was my first cousin---------the rest of my life has been bad news!
04:56 PM on 07/31/2012
Just reading this comments it's hard not to think that young marriage and domestic abuse are unexplored topics in the American psyche. I wonder what would arise if some of the people who wrote barbed (and in some cases absusive) comments asked themselves how underage marriage and domestic abuse affected them and some of the people they've loved.
03:43 PM on 07/31/2012
Then what! Then what! Haha...I wanted to continue reading.
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milles manson
"Let us insert the microchip Or Go To Prisoncamp"
12:40 PM on 07/31/2012
Marriage Why marry?If she really loves you she will be happy with spending the rest of her life just living with you.
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pilotswife
11:20 PM on 07/30/2012
Be careful what you ask for....
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Pearl Nestor
10:22 PM on 07/30/2012
When I was a teenager getting married was the furthest thing away from my mind. I was looking forward to the day I could be free to do as I pleased. I was on my own and working when I was 17, my brother was on his own at 16. Getting married just seemed like being restricted and held back, had friends who married early and they couldn't go out when they wanted,take trips etc on a whim. I thought it was sad to be so young and so tied down. NOT for me!!!
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yeass
08:51 PM on 07/30/2012
so what's the rest of the story. Did she go back to school, go back home, become homeless?
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charleshmcgill
09:40 PM on 07/30/2012
Go to the library and read the book . It's called, "Married at Fourteen: A True Story," by Lucille Lang Day.
08:14 PM on 07/30/2012
So what happened next? You can't just stop like that, in the middle so to speak! Tell us more!
08:14 PM on 07/30/2012
That' all? What a crappy story about a kid and nothing else about what happened.
09:31 PM on 07/30/2012
It was an excerpt from a full-length book. That explanation was in the introduction, although I grant you I had to go back to find it.
10:05 PM on 07/30/2012
It is a tease to get us to buy the book.
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JC2009USA
Everybody has an opinion
07:52 PM on 07/30/2012
Okay - what is the point of this story other than to promote your book? Everybody knows you/anyone is young, stupid, stubborn, and obstinate at the age of 14...in your case you also were a blackmailer in telling your parents you would get pregnant or run away...none of which is behavior to be proud of.

You are still a child at 14...you don't have enough experience in this world to take care of yourself let alone be a wife and take care of a child...a child raising a child should not be a goal.

Your guy beat you...rest of the story...you leave him...have a tough time raising yourself and a child...have hard times...hard knocks....learn the hard way...this is not a new story...it is repeated hundreds of times per year in this country and even more in other countries... Ages might change slightly 15, 16, 17...same old story...different day...

So is your story to tell kids don't do this? They won't listen...when kids are hard-headed it's live and learn...
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Susan Bond
Just because you CAN, doesn't mean you SHOULD
11:35 PM on 07/30/2012
You answered your own question with your first sentence.
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Pearl Nestor
12:22 AM on 07/31/2012
That is a sad fact. When my younger brother moved in with his girlfriend we were all telling him to not make any babies at his age, his girl friend was 17. Even my older brother who owed a ton of child support told him "DON'T end up like me!" It went one ear and out the other. You can't save someone from themselves and then it's interesting how it's up to the rest of the family to help fix it or support them with costly life expenses afterwards. You are so right, this is an old, old story. Nothing new here.
06:33 PM on 07/30/2012
This story puts me in mind of the woman who became a doctor and led a life like Lucy Day did. She had a speech implement and was working dead end jobs with three or four kids when she went onto medical school with support from her husband. It was a movie made about her but I forget the name of it.
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06:31 PM on 07/30/2012
Had a sis-in-law who married my brother when she was 5 months pregnant and only 14 years old and he was 19 years old. 40 some years later I learned my brother had at one time or other used a belt to beat his underaged wife. Not surprised she divorced my brutal brother. She deserved happiness in her life.
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congilio
05:19 PM on 07/30/2012
Once in this country if a woman was not married by age of 16 she was considered an old maid and this fact, my grandmother was married at 14 and she was very happey until she died. The problem here is that women develope mentally faster than men and by 14 their average mental capacity is actually around the age of twenty, along with this their hormones gointo full swing at age of 14 also. Now our law says 18 but remember Mary had Jesus when she was around 12 to 14. The law in this country was made at at time when women were getting the right to vote etc also. Not that I would want my daughter to marry that young just explaining facts.
05:31 PM on 07/30/2012
It is time young women or girls be more interested in getting a career rather than a baby. When will they ever learn! children having children leads to poverty and few get beyond that--few.
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kmc528
I ALWAYS have an opinion....
06:43 PM on 07/30/2012
Amen. My parents taught me to never be financially dependent on a man. I had a career, and it paid well enough that when I got fed up, I kicked the husband to the curb without a second thought -- I could support myself just fine.
retiredfemale
Internet=no excuse for ignorance
12:16 AM on 07/31/2012
More young women are waiting to get married, it is actually unusual in my part of the country for girls to get married right out of high school now. Most have jobs and a career before they marry and some chose to just live together rather than marry.
06:42 PM on 07/30/2012
I don't remember Mary saying anything about her age when she had Jesus. Were you around then?
09:16 PM on 07/30/2012
Neither were you...