The past couple of weeks have been incredibly tough for me. I have been straddled with the burden of stress so much so that it started to affect my physical health. As a college student, it's expected that I'll have stressful moments but sometimes, it become too hard for me to handle. Juggling classwork, extracurriculars, work, and a personal life can be overwhelming at times. It's at these times that there's only one thing I can do -
- I bring it up to God.
You see, my relationship with God is one where I believe that we converse best when I'm not traditionally praying (i.e. bowing my head and closing my eyes while talking). Not that there's anything wrong with the good old traditional prayer; it's just that I find it easier to talk to God when I imagine Him as my friend that's listening to me complain about all my issues while we both sit in my dorm room sharing Oreos. It usually goes something like this:
"Hey God, my day was pretty sucky today. Person X did this which caused me to do Y, but after I did Y, I felt really horrible about it and now I think I'm a terrible person. What should I do now? Could You maybe bring some calm into my life right now? Because we both know how I freak out when I start feeling bad about myself. And yeah, I know You already knew all of this, but I'm glad You're still listening to me anyways. Thanks. Amen"
So just like a good friend, God listens to me. But then comes the frustrating part - waiting for the answer. Honestly, I wish God was always straightforward with his answers because that would make life a heck of a lot easier for me and everyone else. Sadly, straightforward answers don't come as often as I would like them to. Sometimes, this is my fault because God does give these type of answers but I'm too preoccupied to notice it. Other times, I think God doesn't want to give me an answer right away because He wants me to try and figure it out on my own before He intervenes (which honestly could be an answer in itself).
Whatever the case may be, my point is that prayer does not always give us the quick answer we want it to. As a human being, that's very frustrating. But you know what's not frustrating? Knowing that no matter what I do or where I go, I know that God is in my corner, even if He's a bit stingy with His answers at times.
As for my current mental state, my stress is slowly subsiding and I'm feeling healthy again, which are all good things. But just because I'm feeling better doesn't mean I'm going to stop praying. Keeping my relationship with God is a thing I constantly do. Sometimes I even check up on Him and ask him how He's doing. Of course, I never get an answer to that one but I'm sure He appreciates the gesture. In my short 21 years of life, I know I can say this for sure - the power of prayer is real. You may not get the answers you want, you may not get answers at all. Still, you know that God's always there for you, and He's waiting to listen.