Sometimes when we meet love we don't know what to do or how to respond. Fear kicks in. We feel claustrophobic and want to run. "Finding My Voice, Allowing Love" is one of 50 stories in Heartbeats, True Stories of Love.
Sharon was used to a certain kind of man, someone who loved her but not too much, who was there for her, sort of and maybe not for long. Then she met Bob.
An energy seemed to pass between us that I found quite attractive. He was very accommodating, asking me what I would like to do. I was impressed. In recent years I had only spent time with artists. I had been married to a painter. I had never been with a guy like this. He was extremely straight. He had a sense of integrity about him. It was kind of unusual after the men I'd known.
Bob and Sharon began to date. How did she react? "I didn't want him to touch me. I didn't want him to kiss me. I didn't want him to do anything that was that intimate." Bob was patient, consistent, generous and kind. He made his love and his wish to be with her clear to Sharon.
For a couple of weeks around Easter, during the school spring break, I went to New York with a friend. While I was there I missed him. On my return to L.A. he picked me up at the airport and gave me a bouquet of flowers. He was a total romantic. I wasn't used to it. Something in that was so old-fashioned that it rankled me. On the other hand, I really appreciated it.
As Bob and Sharon fully entered a relationship how did she feel?
We didn't always get along. He could not do enough for me, but I was an independent woman. He was constantly bringing me things. If he had the slightest thought that I needed an item he would get it. He was taking care of me. While I appreciated it, I felt that emotionally he was like a tsunami. I had never had a relationship with a guy so demanding of my attention and found his actions very '50s. He couldn't get enough of me but it was too much, for me. I didn't know what to do and had to start learning how to deal with this kind of man who cared so much. I had never known a man like this.
They're relationship deepened and, for Sharon, his need to have his love returned and to have a life with her sent her into panic. She had reached her upper limit.
My feelings for him began to change. What are you doing with this man? I'd ask myself. This is not what you had in mind. Over the years I began to see him differently. He wanted me to follow him, to live with him and that wasn't me. I made a bold move to Mexico.
The story doesn't end here. You will find the complete story in Heartbeats, True Stories of Love. I believe that love is what we're here to learn. It is who we are and the most important thing in life. If you have any questions about Heartbeats please contact me at manyheartbeats@gmail.com