I don't know about you, but I'm overwhelmed by all of the numerical lists that have somehow found the exact number of things I need to do... or give up... or add...or change... in order to be a happier, more fulfilled, better person. All of this well-intended advice is making me question how much bandwidth I have to devote to self-improvement at this point in my life.
For one thing, I can't remember any of them. I mean, some of the content is good information, but the moment I read it, I forget it. This is on me, I know. But I'm honestly admitting that I have zero ability to retain any of this information and I'm starting to wonder if it's just me. Are you guys reading this stuff and like making mental notes and putting it into action in your lives? Or are you reading, nodding in agreement, shouting out an "amen" and then immediately going blank on all of it, like me? I need to know.
When I see these lists, I get to wondering: How did they come up with the number of things? Did they start with 10 and then get to 23 and were like, screw it, I'll just switch the number? Or are there really, exactly, 23 Ways to Have a Better Marriage? Can it be that there are 7 Things I'm Doing Wrong in the Grocery Store? Then my mind switches to pondering if there is any sort of order to these lists. Are the most important things first? Or are the most important things last, David Letterman style? Or, maybe, just completely random? No one knows. No. One. Knows.
Ultimately, I have to ask myself...have I gotten to the point where I can't read paragraphs anymore? Do I need a list in order to keep my banal mind from losing interest? These questions are swimming through my head, probably the culprits for keeping me from remembering what I'm reading.
And seriously, even if I could remember them, or make sense of the numbering, how many more things can I add to my plate about self-improvement? The answer is... none. I can't. I know I should, but I'm tapped out. This morning, I read something on Facebook that was like, not only do you have to act, but dream... not just plan, but believe. Blah, blah, blah. The very idea of this exhausts me. I think I might have reached maximum density for becoming a better person. Maybe that's what being middle-aged is all about... reaching the tipping point of self-actualization where you are like, "Oh, screw it. This will have to do."
To celebrate this new awakening, or, OK, fine, capitulation, (potato, potahto), I decided to make a list of 33 things that you can read and quickly forget because they are completely unnecessary to remember and/or enact in your life. To save you the wondering... this list is in no particular order. Please, it's barely proofread. And the number of things is completely arbitrary. Full confession: I started out with 22 and ended up with 33. Who could stop me? [Insert maniacal laugh]
Please enjoy reading them and equally enjoy, guilt-free, forgetting them and not incorporating any of them into your life. But, before you go blank, might I suggest sharing the blog first? I mean, come on... here's your chance to be a real Facebook hero and share something wonderfully useless for your friends so we can all take a collective deep breath and remember we are freakin' fine, just the way we are. Billy Joel would not lie.
33 Self-Improvement Thingees to Read and then Quickly Forget
- You should keep breathing. In and out. Or out and in. I'm pretty sure either way works.
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