Here's a question from a reader about the holidays, heartbreak and lonliness:
I recently had my heart broken. And now the holidays are here, which is making me feel even more sad and lonely. I don't have a partner and I don't have family. I literally feel contracted around my heart and my stomach, and I guess you could say I'm depressed. How do I deal with this? Please help. Thanks, M.R.
Thank you for your honesty. I'd like you to consider that your heart is not broken, but that your heart is actually telling you it is ready to be broken open -- open to more love, your love, the love that is not dependent on others.
Contraction is a form of resistance, pain is a form of resistance, and both are signs of resistance to your natural state of well-being, and, more accurately, a resistance to love. Consider that this is what your body might be trying to tell you, that you're resisting your own love.
If you want to start feeling better, you may want to let go of the contraction, and to do that, you simply need to gradually expand to let your own love flow and circulate within you again. To experience this expansion and relief, try this process:
Step 1: Sit privately and quietly where you won't be disturbed.
Step 2: Put your attention on the sadness and loneliness you are feeling. Put your attention on the contraction you feel around your chest and stomach areas. Notice all of this without judgment; observe it neutrally, if you can. If you feel emotional, that's fine, just feel and notice yourself feeling.
Step 3: Now, imagine that a light, a pure and loving light from above, is showering upon you and through you. Imagine this loving light radiating on you like a divine flashlight, lighting your entire body -- your head, face, neck, shoulders, spine, back, arms, hands, chest, heart, solar plexus and stomach area, hips, groin, legs, feet, toes. Feel its warmth. Focus special light on your chest and stomach areas, and as you do, imagine your chest and heart expanding and opening in love. Imagine the resistance melting and clearing away.
Step 4a: As you feel this light in your chest and stomach areas, say this aloud or to yourself: "I am Love, my Heart is Love, my stomach is Love, my body is Love, I am opening in Love, I am expanding in Love, I am flowing in Love, I am Love."
Step 4b: Breathe deeply. With your hands, gently massage in an opening motion from your sternum to your sides, and from the center of your solar plexus and stomach area to your sides. And while you do this, say "I am opening to Love." Repeat this a few times, imagining any resistance melting away as your expand your Love. Finish by giving yourself a big hug.
Step 4c (optional): If you believe in a divine source, such as spirit, god or higher power, you can also recite this request: "Dear Divine Source, please fill me with your continuous Love and Light and the Knowing that I am Love. Help me to release all resistance to my Love and my Well-being, and lovingly remind me that I am Love. Thank you."
Practice these four steps every day for the next week. And if you're ambitious, practice it daily for 32 days. If you miss a day, it's ok, just pick it back up the next day. At any time during the day, you can say, "I am Love."
Obviously, M.R., if you think the contracting feeling represents a real physical or medical problem, please consult with your medical practitioner.
Otherwise, what you're feeling may truly be an opportunity for you to expand into a fuller loving that originates within you. Love can never be taken from you, because the truth is, you are Love.
Here are some nice quotes to support your expansion into Love:
"To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance." -- Oscar Wilde
"Self-love is the source of all our other loves." -- Pierre Corneille
"I to myself am dearer than a friend." -- William Shakespeare
"Everything has to do with loving and not loving." -- Rumi
Your life coach,
You may submit questions to firstname.lastname@example.org. Let us hear your thoughts -- include your comments below.
Copyright 2010 Maddisen K. Krown