When a show is as bad as "Work It," and you truly have nothing nice to say about it, it often feels like you should just follow that old adage and not say anything at all. But that's not my job. (Sorry, Mom!)
If you somehow haven't heard about this horrific new show, the fine folks at HitFix, IGN TV, Variety, Zap2it and Entertainment Weekly, among many others, have all tried to articulate exactly how bad it is to great success; Gawker even claimed that "Work It" could be the worst television show in history.
"Work It" also won worst of the worst in our TV Preview videos last fall, and it was the only new show that we all unanimously said to skip. Like I said, it's easy to pile on when's something is this unwatchable, but no one's taken the opposite approach ... until now.
So I set out to find a positive spin on this show that's far too easy to be negative about. Though it was nearly impossible, here's my attempt at seeing the bright side of the sexist, anti-feminist, everything-bashing sitcom called "Work It" (premieres Tues., Jan. 3, 8:30 p.m. EST on ABC). Please only continue reading with your sarcasm-detecting glasses on ...
1. It Ain't No "Bosom Buddies"
If you thought those two guys from "Bosom Buddies" were just too believable as women, you're in luck -- the linebacker builds of "Work It's" Lee and Angel, Ben Koldyke and Amaury Nolasco respectively, ensure that the walk, talk and physical appearance of these career cross-dressers will never confuse you. These are men, baby! They're just dressing like women. You know, because women have it so great.
2. It Gives Hope In This Horrible Economy
Don't give up if you're out of work and can't find a job -- you'll still be able to go out drinking with your friends every night of the week to vent about all of your financial woes over some over-priced beers. And when push comes to shove, there's always a) working in the fast food industry, or b) cross-dressing. Options!
3. The Men Are Women-Bashing For A Reason
When out-of-work Lee overhears that the drug business is doing well from a female pharmaceutical rep in his doctor's office, he's intrigued. But she quickly shoots him down, saying they're just looking for "girls." Why? "We've had some guys, but the doctors seem to want to nail them less." Oh ... so girls are getting all the good jobs because they're sluts? Well, there you have it. Hate away, guys!
4. It Has Timely References
Don't listen to those who say this show is dated -- they're slipping in hilarious pop culture references all over the place. Like this gem: "Most of the girls who interview here think 'clinical trials' are the things Lindsay Lohan keeps having to go to."
5. And It's Got Current Jams
If you love the Black Eyed Peas, then you're in luck. "Work It" has a zany montage showing how Lee first gets girly, set to the oh-so-appropriate 2005 hit "My Humps." (And yes, we see Lee dealing with all his humps, God-given and otherwise.)
6. It Teaches Us A Cultural Lesson
Did you know Puerto Ricans love selling drugs and hate cross-dressers? According to "Work It," it's true! When newly-employed Lee tells his pal Angel that he's found work, Angel quickly reminds him of their pact to get each other jobs, insisting he'd be a natural selling pharmaceuticals: "I'm Puerto Rican -- I'll be great at selling drugs!" Later, when confronted with his cross-dressing friend, he dismisses the idea that he could try the same tactics with pure Puerto Rican disgust: "This ... kinda thing doesn't really fly in my culture." Machismo is alive and well.
7. It Clearly Defines The Strict Gender Divide
Just a quick recap of the pilot's deeply researched gender lessons: Women like cuddling, book clubs, giving back-handed compliments, talking about marriage, lending each other tampons and only eating a piece of lettuce or two for lunch. Men like drinking beer. Oh, and they're good with cars.
8. It Ends On A Positive Note
Dressing up in drag isn't just good for business -- at the end of the pilot, married Lee now understands that women have it rough, too! This experience might even help him with his marriage and dealing with his teenage daughter. And single guy Angel isn't all about hitting on ladies anymore -- now, he's using them for tips on getting rid of visible panty lines. Win, win!
If these reasons have inspired you to watch this show, I apologize -- that clearly wasn't my intent. But if morbid curiosity does win out, don't say we didn't warn you.
"Work It" premieres Tues., Jan. 3, 8:30 p.m. EST on ABC
Watch a clip from the "Work It" premiere: