Bloodsuckers and the World of Michael Jackson

In the aftermath of Michael Jackson's death, I found myself in a surreal situation that gave me a glimpse into the dark side of bloodsuckers, media and celebrity.

In those few hours, I saw a side of humanity that saddens me - where people try to take advantage of vulnerability, confusion, and grief for their own advantage. I realized that much of media has so much more to gain when they report salacious gossip, even in the aftermath of a tragic death like Michael's. I also realized that all of us, myself included, who participate in the engagement of that media feed so-called journalists to do anything to get their information. In the end, personalities like Michael are portrayed as freaks and dysfunctional, people who love them are taken advantage of, and those seedy, washed out journalists profit.

I share my experience because it involves Grace Rwaramba, who served as the nanny to Michael's three kids. Grace is more than my best friend - I refer to her as my sister, and she thinks of my parents as her own (she actually calls my father papa).

In the last day in the aftermath of Michaels death, recent quotes have surfaced about her life with Michael, as well as speculation about her role in potential custody battles for the three children.

Grace has read this article before I published it.

Michael had a pattern of letting those close to him in and out of his life, and Grace was no exception. Lisa Marie Presley’s reflection on her emotional relationship with Michael expressed beautifully the power Michael had with those he loved. Over the years, Grace faced a similar cycle of wanting to save him and being hurt by him. It was an endless cycle that seemed similar to those faced by friends and families of other addicts. Michael had a knack of surrounding himself with enablers, and avoiding people who wanted to help him like his family, real friends who cared deeply about him, Grace and my father, Deepak Chopra.

Daphne Barak, a so-called journalist who claims to be a friend of the Jackson family and who got to know Grace through them, has been cultivating a friendship with Grace over several years. Unfortunately, the story with Daphne and Grace seems to be one that echoes the vultures that took advantage of Michael throughout his life.

Daphne reached out to Grace a few weeks ago, when she knew she was in a vulnerable place, having recently been let go by Michael yet again (this was a regular pattern). In the 17 years that Grace has worked with Michael, she has never spoken to the press. She loves Michael and his children at her core.

Grace genuinely believed Daphne was her friend who was trying to help her. Daphne had offered to help Grace launch a foundation she was creating to monitor non profit work in Africa. (Grace was originally from Rwanda.) She told Grace that they should record her speaking about the work. However, every time they began to record, her questions would center on Michael. Grace would say she was uncomfortable speaking about him.

On the morning of June 26th, after finding out that Grace was also in London, I rushed to her hotel. She was staying in a suite with Daphne. Daphne told tell me she had invited Grace to stay with her in Switzerland as her guest, and how she had helped Grace with the immediate aftermath of shock hearing about Michael's death. She said that she had spent several thousand dollars to buy a business class ticket for Grace to fly to LA. She boasted about how close she was to the Jackson family, world leaders, etc.

I witnessed Daphne act as a friend while trying to bait information from Grace on her conversations with Jackson family members and friends about his death. She warned Grace that the family was going to try to set her up for Michaels downfall, and that it was critical that Grace speak with a lawyer before leaving. As a friend, she had organized a "lawyer" to get Grace's story before she left for the airport.

In essence, Daphne was setting up a scenario to garner more information from Grace before she left for LA. I discovered that one of her friends who happened to be there had made a documentary on Princess Diana.

When we tried to leave, Daphne screamed at Grace - in front of my young children who began to cry -- that she was an ingrate. She had spent thousands of dollars hosting her, she was her guest, and she wanted to spend the time to say goodbye. (Daphne obviously could not believe her luck that she had baited Grace as a sympathetic friend for stories before he died, and had Grace with her on that sad day.)

Ultimately, Daphne, having obviously drunk a bit much, threatened to release the recordings she had made of their private conversations. Grace was petrified. I held her by the shoulders, looked in her eyes, and said lets just go. So what, let her put it out there. She is a washed up journalist trying to mine a tragic situation. Michael was gone now, and the future is the wellbeing of the children. Grace agreed.

Ultimately, I had to get the hotel manager involved to escort Grace out of the hotel. I also bought Grace's ticket home myself, discovering that Daphne had misled us about the time and the price. It was a 650 Pound economy ticket, not several thousand dollars.

Twenty four hours later, I found that Daphne indeed had written an article full of quotes by Grace for a tabloid magazine. (A quick search of her other work not surprisingly shows she did a recent feature on Amy Winehouse.) Grace's quotes are now being picked up by other tabloids and will find their way into more magazines and articles. (People Magazine is also featuring some today, including the inaccurate claim the Grace pumped Michael's stomach several times. For the record, Grace never pumped Michael's stomach. She has no idea how she would even do such a thing.) Which quotes are true, which are in context, (many are not) to me frankly doesn't matter. I will not be surprised if Daphne releases audios or videos soon.

Grace feels used, insecure and shaken that she could have been so naïve, particularly having witnessed so many vultures in Michael's world over the years. She made a mistake. The sad truth is that when you are a celebrity, or a close friend or family of one, in a world of tabloids, you must be impeccable in what you say and to whom. Michael probably faced the epitome of vultures, bloodsuckers and hanger-ons displayed in his endless cycle of managers, enabling doctors, and new business partners. How could anyone blame him for becoming so paranoid in his life?

In the article, Daphne tries to portray a rift between Katherine Jackson and Grace. This is not true.

I would like to go on record, with Grace's permission, to say that Grace firmly hopes that the Jackson family gets custody of Prince, Paris and Michael. It would be detrimental to the children to be separated, and they should be with Michael's family. They should know their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, and they should learn about who he was as a person, not just as an icon. She has no interest in custody, and just wants the children to be happy and secure. She will be there for them whenever they need or want her.

As for the appetite for the salacious details of Michael's life, my hope is that we let him go in peace. We already know he led a tortured life. He also led a great one in which he loved, and was loved, by many.

Let his family heal, and let his fans celebrate his music and his giving heart.

This post was originally posted on www.intent.com.

Mallika Chopra is the founder of Intent.com, a site focused on personal, social and global wellness

Follow Mallika Chopra on Twitter: www.twitter.com/mallikachopra

Comments

[Jmuhj Acat]

For the record, it is said Katherine and Joseph Jackson have not lived together for years, and that Katherine has excellent relationships with her children and grandchildren. She would definitely seem the best person to care for the children, but perhaps the CHILDREN can offer their own preferences to the Court at some point, rather than being shuffled around and used as pawns.

To everyone who saw this incredibly gifted and generous man as a human being and genuinely cared for him to the best of their abilities, I am grateful. To all the rest, it is finished. Go and do something else and allow the family to grieve their son, their uncle, their brother, their father.

I join them. Rest in peace, Michael. The world mourns our loss of you. We love and cherish you.

[kfdan]

For many journalist these days ... honesty, truthfulness and insight have been replaced with 'get the angle no matter what' and 'the more controversial the better.' We live in a tabloid jungle these days where the sensational sells and the truth suffers!

[RockyMtns]

It just gives a taste of what Michael had to live with all of his life. People wanting to exploit him and profit from that.

[CANN2]

While I would not usually default to litigation this instance has angered me to the point that I heartily suggest that Grace not quietly allow this on-going criminal activity to continue. Such victims need to aggressively pursue these fraudulent and deceptively obtained statements. So called "journalists" such as this Daphne person need to be held in the public light as frauds who defame a respected profession. A true journalist researches and reports FACTS and anyone who does otherwise, especially under false pretense, should be held accountable to the fullest extent of the law.
It is the responsibility of these slander/libel victims to maintain their personal character as well as the honor of their lost loved ones.

[whitehawk]

You are a true friend of Grace, I'm so glad you shared that information with us and I hope Grace continues to be their nanny, they need her, but, excited Katherine Jackson has temp custody. I do hope however, that Joe Jackson stays away from them. I feel he has the need yet to soak a dead son's memory for profit, as he did when he was alive. Being the youngest boy, Michael heard, seen, felt a lot of abuse. J.J. should stay away.

[rojac6]

What an insightful article-- the world of celebrity is filled with bloodsuckers and the media are vultures. Not exactly groundbreaking stuff Mallika. And while I agree that Jackson probably led a tortured existence, it was an existence that he could have changed at any time. No one forced him to be a celebrity... at least not as an adult. If you like the screaming crowds and the limos and the special status of being a superstar, then you can't complain when that same machine comes around to devour you. The machine of celebrity eats its own.

[mzzanthrope]

There is a positive element that can be gleamed from thie Barak article: Grace's concern for the Jackson children. I know that because Michael died and he experienced great turmoil and pain in his life, people feel sorry for him. What the article did bring forth, is not all that different, in a sense, from what Dr Chopra has said. Michael was an addict and had mental health problems. It was damaging to him, both physically and mentally. Grace's story expands upon this point and demonstrates that there was also collateral damage to his children. Michael loved his children, but addicts do cause harm to those around them, even if it is only mental anguish, and no physical damage. Grace also suffered, she worried about the children and tried to intervene. Perhaps the cycle of dysfunction can be broken if the children are given therapy, not only to deal with his death, but also some of the disturbing circumstances in which they lived. Michael wasn't the only victim of his self destructive behavior. The impact on the children was an unintentional consequence. I think she would be the best person to remain in their lives. Part of her regret may be that she fears that the family will cut her out of the children's lives as retribution for the article. That would be a terrible mistake. Michael is dead, and he can't be helped. Isn't it more important to help the living than to embellish or maintain a legacy?

[2scent]

These children need a guardian until they reach the age of adulthood. Very likely they will want to know who their biological father/mother are.

Let's be honest, Michael left a mess of a legacy for these children. Questions of paternity and maternity are elemental. In this case everything seems veiled and unknown, much like the faces of these children have been.

As someone who was severely abused by one's parents, I beg that these children be placed with family members who will love and cherish them and their very existence. If the mothers surrendered their parental rights, than God forbid they should have these children. Playing devil's advocate here, may it not be in the children's best interest to be removed from the Jackson family entirely? It is far easier to cut the cord earlier rather than later and God only knows what trauma these children have endured and what further trauma awaits them living with their grandparents.

[piperflyer]

I watched Thriller for the first time the other day and I would think Michael invented the "dark side" you speak of. Bloodsuckers---I guess. Emulation is how I see it.

[dm10003]

i have the feeling that his death will make a better opera or musical than his career or life.

[heidibridget]

I agree Michael was surrounded by opportunists, which is likely one of the reasons he appeared to be so lonely. He probably didn't know whether people truly cared about him or were in it for the own self-serving purposes. I am at a loss as to why Grace would provide confidential information to a journalist on the most famous entertainer in the world, who died under what appear to be questionable circumstances. I hope people who were close to Michael, especially those who claim to be his "friends" will find it in their hearts to keep the details of Michael's personal thoughts and feelings that he shared in confidence . . . CONFIDENTIAL. I read an article by Gotham Chopra a few days about his relationship with Michael; regarding the time he spent with Michael collaborating on writing songs, etc., while he was a student in NY; he would visit Michael at his hotel and basically brainstorm on the song-writing. The article took what I believe was an inapproriate turn when GC commented on Michael's request for advice on sex. Some things are sacred and I think that a true friend would keep them in confidence. Why did we need to know that and better yet, why did he feel compelled to tell us? There is not a single person on the planet that lived under greater scrutiny than Michael. I wonder how the rest of us would have handled it. He probably died of a broken heart.

[Pagoda]

Which is probably why he felt such a desperate need to surround himself with children because he knew that children are, more often than not, pure of heart with no secret agendas and b.s. Can any of us even begin to relate to his existence? For 45 of his 50 years all types of strange people screaming and grabbing at him, and camping outside his home.

One of the most heartbreaking things that I've heard over the past few days was an interview with one of his intimate friends, it may have been Mr. Jones (Q), who once asked him if it ever bothered him that there were always people camped outside his house. And according to this intimate friend, Michael said something to the effect of "No, of course not. These are my fans. People have always camped outside my homes, ever since I was five."

Michael was always extremely gracious and loving toward his fans.

[Lilyoffrance]

I too thought Deepak's article was one which generally showed care but I didn't think that we needed to know that he helped Michael to write some of his songs. It almost seemed like he wanted some recognition. Afterall, he did write that Michael told him not to tell anyone.

[DRaymond]

"Michael had a knack of surrounding himself with enablers, and avoiding people who wanted to help him"

Even as somebody completely outside of the process this seemed obvious. During the trial anybody who seemed to have what appeared to be a absolutely obvious concern about the sleepovers bore the title 'disgruntled ex-neverland employee'

[Mattagiri]

Deepak Chopra is a licensed medical doctor and one of the most brilliant people on earth right now. He was Chief of Staff at Boston Regional Medical Center and has taught at Tufts University and Boston University School of Medicine. He opened The Chopra Center for Well Being in California in 1995, establishing a vehicle for the expansion of his healing approach using the integration of the best of western medicine with natural healing traditions. He is also Co-Founder and President of the Alliance for a New Humanity . Deepak has written over 50 books and most of them reach the New York Times top 10 and always go on to be classics. He has been heralded by Time Magazine as one of the top 100 heroes and icons of the century.

Michael Jackson was a severely abused child and there is no doubt that he had humongous emotional problems. His family and his "handlers" enabled him by not holding him accountable and doing a serious, serious intervention so he could get the help he needed because he was their "CASH COW." Lisa Presley called his family and handlers "vampires and leeches." Dr. Drew Pinsky, famous addiction specialist with his own television show, stated that someone needed to have stepped in to take drastic measures to save Michael 20 years ago, but greed prevented that from happening. Deepak tried to help him get into rehab.

Rest in peace, Michael. You are "The King of Pop."

[spiritpony1]

and thanks for the (medical) bio on Deepok C. ---I knew this, but it is noted many do not, since he has focused more publicly on his books, articles, etc.-------) a lot of posters are not aware of a lot of history I guess-----

[CaroleK1970]

Great article, I am disgusted by this Daphne person

[oregonbird]

This would be the same family that raised Jackson. Who have no actual connection to his children, as most of them weren't allowed in Jackson's life. Joe Jackson, who is violent and conniving. Jackson's mother, 80 years old and proven incapable of protecting her own children from her husband and the music business that used them. A family that allowed children to have and witness meaningless sex in hotel rooms. That gave their own children drugs to keep them up for performances.

Yeah, I'd say those kids'll be in great hands.

[Pleneras]

Were you there and do you have proof of your crazy rants?

[shag11]

I had a indirect connection to Motown's early years, and you may criticize that posters "crazy rants," it's all true. LaToya and Michael spoke openly about Joe's abuse. Michael said it in an old Oprah interview that's being played regularly now. And to witness Joe's egomania, all you have to do is see the interview with CNN on the red carpet of the BET Awards, where at the end of his interview, he brings a guy up, who reluctantly was promoting a new record company venture.

[littlepuffycloud]

Do you know nothing of the 40 year history of the Jacksons? The Jackson 5's 1st hit "I Want You Back" was around 1970..I was in 8th grade and am 53 yrs old. I grew up and loved his music. His father's brutality was talked about way back then. Anyone who doubts the Jackson children; Michael and his siblings, went through hell growing up, either turned a blind eye or wasn't paying attention for the last 40 freakin years. I'm with oregonbird­..Michael'­s 3 little children are going back to where Michael's hell began...it just doesn't seem right. Deja vu all over again.