The Pope Reiterates Stance on Condoms and Loses Another Lapsed Catholic

As a Catholic who lapsed in high school, only Lent has the power to draw me back in. I was raised to eat fish on Fridays and to give up an earthly pleasure in emulation of the ultimate sacrifice (my annual ritual was to forego candy) for the forty days leading up to Easter Sunday. Each spring when the days get longer and tulips sprout through the thawing ground, I crave that structure again, the reliable twin anchors of tradition and faith. I want to suspend my disbelief and reclaim -- if not the teachings -- then the poetry of the religion I was raised on. I would love to hear the reading of The Passion again on Palm Sunday, and to re-experience the magic in its narrative. But then the Pope has to go and say something infuriating as he did on the way to Cameroon on Tuesday. He stated that condoms were not the safeguard against AIDS, the epidemic roiling the African continent. Instead he advocated for a "spiritual and human awakening" with plans to talk to young Africans about abstinence and monogamy as the only acceptable paths to AIDS prevention. He even said presumably with a straight face that condom distribution could "aggravate the problem" of AIDS.

What century are we in?

I respond to Pope Benedict's comments not as an AIDS researcher or activist, who must be plenty mad, but as a once and former Catholic, one who is embarrassed yet again by the only church I have ever known. These kinds of statements are the reason why the church continues to drive lots of reasonable and rational people away. It is hard to adhere to a faith whose head can make such a declaration, particularly on a continent which has already suffered more than 25 million AIDS deaths - 83 per cent of the world's total.

Maybe by now the church has given up on the likes of me, people weary of its treatment of women, the dark ghosts of Nazi collusion, the years of sex scandals and rampant abuse of priestly power. Not to mention its stance on reproductive rights and homosexuality. And still...even with all that, the church's hold can be fierce, even to the disillusioned or the non-believing faithful like me, especially when one craves a spiritual home in a world gone mad. Try walking into a cathedral, lighting a candle and looking way up to the vaulted ceiling if you want to dispel your doubts and explore for a moment the mystery of faith. But just in case the Vatican wanted to make Catholicism more appealing, just in case they were hoping to bring some wandering lambs back into the fold, the Pope's comments extinguished those hopes, yet again, during the time of year when such a thing would be most possible. His declarations reaffirmed that the church he leads is, on some issues, truly out of touch.

Like his predecessor John Paul II, Pope Benedict XVI has no intention of altering the teachings of the church for current realities -- like the killer AIDS epidemic that by the way, the US considers a national security threat. His task is to uphold immutable Catholic doctrine. But it seems to me that he could do that, and be the moral spiritual guide so many people hunger for, without actually being irresponsible. It seems to me that one can still be a holy man and promote the culture of life that is the essence of Catholicism by insisting that condom use helps prevent the horrors of death by AIDS. Enough punishment and guilt, already; people are dying. African governments and health care professionals are working day and night to get the message out on the ABC's of AIDS prevention. It starts with abstinence, continues with be faithful, and ends with proper use of condoms (and with these efforts, Uganda is a burgeoning success story). This is the advice the world's citizens still need to heed, and hopefully not that of the Pope, who really should not be lecturing about sex.

The church has fought against good science and good sense for too long, losing people along the way with a moral code that has not changed for centuries. There is much that is permanent and pure in these traditions, but there is so much more that seems hopelessly and tragically unenlightened. I was hoping for some changes under Pope Benedict XVI. The church is overdue for a true twenty-first century re-prioritization, but it looks like I'll be waiting longer than my lifetime will allow. How nice it would have been for those of us who can't help the fact that we were born Catholic, to see the church listen and respond to the world we inhabit. Maybe the dons in Rome don't care that I've long since lapsed, but this time of year, I do.

Comments

[WorkingClass]

Look into the monastic traditions of your church. Thomas Merton is a good place for Americans to start. Get right with God. Forget about the Pope. Just trying to help.

[MrSluggy]

Thank you, Ms. DeSanctis, for capturing perfectly the feelings of this former Roman Catholic. I maintained my practice of the RC faith for more than 35 years, until the cummulative actions and pronouncements from the church heirarchy just became too absurd and unjust for me to support any longer. Since reaching adulthoood, I had issues with the church's positions on various matters such as family planning, women's roles within the church, and homosexuality, but I really began to struggle with my faith when some dioceses' practice of transferring priests guilty of child molestation instead of bringing the guilty parties to justice came to light. Ultimately, I came to the point where I just couldn't continue to support the church with my presence or my contributions, nor could I in good conscience bring up my daughter in faith that promotes such morally and socially unjust philosophies and teachings as being righteous. Such recent horrors as the Pope's anti-condem stance in HIV-Aids ravaged Africa, the excommunication of the mother and doctors of the 9-year-old rape-victim in Brazil, and my local bishop's stance that voting for Obama represented a mortal sin just confirms to me that I've done the right thing.

[spacethought]

Couldn't agree more - a little present mixed in with the past could work wonders.

[Rog49Thomas]

Let's surpress all the heretics!

That would be I guess the Monophysites.
Or is it the Monothelites?
The Chalcedonians, maybe?
Or perhaps them pesky Miaphysites?

Now I'm really confused.

Hold off till I get back to you

[Rog49Thomas]

How does one lose someone who has left?

[Shrinath]

On the whole, I find it ridiculous for anyone to dictate how one should choose to lead their lives. Another way of the Holy See to enter your private life and say whether you should have sex only to procreate and not for pleasure. Why, then the Pope, did not condemn the genocide in Darfur? Why has he not chosen to talk about the other issues plaguing the society. Condoms have proved effective and have reduced in the spread of the epidemic. Going by this analogy, one man for one woman, divorce should be illegal (I am not sure whether they approve divorce).

Instead of concentrating on the burgeoning complexities of the populace, the Pope harkens backs to time when it was imperative for them to control the masses with such absurd decrees. While the Holy See nominated ambassadors abused young boys, the Pope sees fit to preach while he cannot rein in his own. How typically hypocritical and political. No wonder the world is in such a chaos.

[gregzink]

"How nice it would have been for those of us who can't help the fact that we were born Catholic..."

This is an absurd notion that implies an individuals CHOSEN ideological path is somehow bioglocically rooted. By that logic Obama was a born Democrat or Stalin a born Communist.

This article does an magnificant job of displaying the harmful effects of religious indoctrination in regards to children. She says "...I crave that structure again.." and "...by the only church I have ever known.." and "...I was hoping for some changes under Pope Benedict XVI..." Her parents did such an efficient job that it persists into her adult life and would happily go back to wish thinking and superstition if only they would tone down the rhetoric. ***See Chris Hitchens & Richard Dawkins on "Religion as Child Abuse"***

I'm also intrigued by the notion that she is simultaneously appauled by the Churches various social stances but not the least bit critical of it's overall legitmacy. Miracles, bodily ascension, holy books and loads of superstition but is bothered with their Nazi collaboration?

Their power should be assumed fraudalent from the outset of the article and has to date not produced one piece of evidence to back up any of their claims.

[oxi]

Please do not compare Roman Catholics to the rest of Catholicasim.

I am Eastern Orthodox and do not recognise the Pope's authority, so do not label "Catholic" with what the Pope is doing. The Pope does not represent the original Catholic church which is the Eastern Orthodox Church.

[RealCatholic]

Just to Let you Know what your Church Teaches.

Moscow Patriarchate Backs Pope's Stance on Condoms

http://www.zenit.org/article-25430?l=english

Says They Can't Be Considered Remedy Against AIDS

[RealCatholic]

This is directly from the mouth of the Eastern Orthodox Church

Moscow Patriarchate Backs Pope's Stance on Condoms

http://www.zenit.org/article-25430?l=english

Says They Can't Be Considered Remedy Against AIDS

[oxi]

Did it come from Constantinople?

I do not belong to the Russian Orthodox Church!

If your a real Catholic, you must be Eastern Orthodox?

I bow down to Jesus, not a Pope!

[EngineerOne]

You appear to be attempting to simultaneously change the subject and reduce people to the sum of their genitalia.

What the pope said, and what I said, is that handing out condoms solves nothing because it treats the symptom and not the disease. Can condoms mitigate the spread of disease...sure they can. But that is akin to wading into a rushing river and putting your hands out trying to stop the water.

The source of the spread of HIV/AIDS is the behavior...and no amount of "gloving up" will stop behavior, in fact, it encourages the risky behavior because condoms provide a false sense of security. What's more, the quality of condoms delivered to Africa are often suspect, having sat on docks or unairconditioned warehouses for months.

The Catholic Church's teaching is sex is a gift from God where spouses participate in the creative power of God and form a permanent bond that establishes a family. In that context, a sacramental marriage, sex can be the channel of God's grace.

What your premise seems to be is that human beings are animals who are unable to control their base impulses, and therefore we must do our best to minimize the damage. The Church has a more hopeful view based on the Gospel...people are good, made in the image / likeness of God...and that by changing hearts through the love of our Lord and Savior, we can have a better life. Peace to you this day.

[TheBlackCat]

The sad truth is that the Catholic Church will continue to endanger the lives of millions of people because, like EngineerOne, they don't get it, and they never will. And they will continue to end all their their sentiments in "God Bless" or "Peace to you this Day" because they think dressing up their death dealing with loving words somehow makes it okay.

[RealCatholic]

You claim that the Catholic Church or the Pope is the reason that you are not part of the Catholic Church. The laws of the Catholic Church are God's laws not to be changed by anyone, even the Pope. When something new comes about, to wit, birth control, the Church looks to its Teachings and Traditions and decides weather it is morally good or intrinsically evil. If it all of a sudden became accepted to murder people the Pope would not say "I decree that murder is no longer a SIN" or with today's popularity of promiscuity he would not say "go have sex with as many people as you can, and do not feel like a slut, it is OK" God dwells in you heart and the desire to serve Him will never leave. You will feel the desire for Truth and Tradition for the rest of your life. As for the Church going against it's teachings and becoming "more liberal in Her beliefs" this will never happen. But it will always be there to welcome you back once you are done with your life of sin.
I have never been a fan of "God Bless you", unless you sneeze.
So I will say that no matter what you do or say God Loves You and is waiting with open arms for you to live the glorious life which He has planned for you.

[TheBlackCat]

Why didn't your respond to comments pointing out that NO abstinence only education program in any country or any state has ever worked, EVER?

You also didn't respond to the respond to:

I don't think it's fair to say the only reason anyone would leave the Catholic Church is because they don't understand it.

I was raised in a deeply religious family. I went to Catholic school, then later worked for Pax Christi. I am well aware of exactly what the Church is all about and what it stands for. And I decided to leave it, as have many many many other Catholics.

Are you really so closed minded that you don't think it's possible for anyone to simply not like Catholicism, not approve of the Vatican's running of things, or simply loose faith? The ONLY explanation to why anyone would leave is ignorance?

I personally left because I was introduced to Buddhism. The more I studied it, the more I believed it and the more I preferred its philosophies to the dogma of the Catholic Church.

If someone I know who is Buddhist converted to Catholicism, I would never be so arrogant as to assume that the ONLY reason this could be is because the person "didn't really understand' Buddhism. I would assume that the person simply decided that Catholicism was what they truly believed in. And I wouldn't have the nerve to second guess their faith simply because it is one I don't share.

[Sindona]

Condoms also prevent pregnancy and result in smaller families. Smaller families result in a higher standard of living for their members, and in a greater chance at an education for their children. This is especially true in African countries where school is often only available for those who can afford it. Perhaps the problem for the church hierarchy is that smaller Catholic families also mean fewer Catholic children to provide money for the church and red designer shoes for its leader. Another pope said:

“. . . this morning, I flushed my toilet with a solid gold lever edged with diamonds and at this very moment, bishops and cardinals are using a bathroom on the second floor of the papal palace which trappings, I am told, would draw more than fifty million dollars at auction . . . Believe me, one day, we who live in opulence, while so many are dying because they have nothing, will have to answer to Jesus as to why we have not carried out His instruction, ‘Love thy neighbor as thyself.’

Pope John Paul I, 1978

[TheBlackCat]

Marcia,
Thank you for your article. You echo perfectly my sentiments as a fellow former Catholic.

[medardo]

it boggles the mind. it seems that the Pope doesn't understand what's left of Africa, and why it is essential to the entire world population, including one billion catholics, that Africa survives. i think the writer is correct. the pope will say his thing but the people will actually listen to health officials.

[EngineerOne]

My guess is the author is a lapsed Catholic because she doesn't understand what she has left. Her comment that "the Church has fought against good science" reflects a lack of understanding about (a) what the pope said, and (b) what the Church teaches.

The pope didn't say that latex doesn't block the transmission of the HIV virus...what he said is that passing out condoms and expecting people not to exercise judgement over the appetities will solve nothing. Does anyone believe that the HIV rates have been reduced in the West where condoms are available everywhere? The most effective HIV/AIDS reduction programs in Africa are abstinence-based (see: Uganda).

Here's the real point...passing out condoms and telling people to have "safe sex" doesn't solve the AIDS crisis. The pope was saying that sex is a beautiful expression of love within marriage where a couple shares in God's creative power. It's not intended to be a mere passtime. Teaching people to behave responsibly, marry for life, and raise families in a stable, loving environment changes hearts....and that solves the AIDS crisis. That's the Catholic message the pope was preaching.

[TheBlackCat]

Abstinance only education does not work. It has been proven not to work. The Church needs to accept the reality that abstinance education does not work and has proven not to work.

Yes, abstinance is the best and safest choice. Only a fool would argue otherwise. But the fact of the matter is that abstiance only eduation has never worked in any nation or state it has been tried in. You can't just keep trying the same failed tactic over and over again just because it sounds good in theory. People don't wait until marriage. They just don't. Yes, SOME people do. But not most. Not now, and not at any point in history: the only difference is that people are more open about it now than in the past.

The definition of insantiy is attempting the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. The Catholic Church thinking they can control the sex lives of their members is insanity.


And its incredibly condescending for you to say the author "didn't understand what she had left." MANY Catholics have left the Church, myself included, and we understand EXACTLY what we left. I'm not saying you DON'T understand it, it's just that its a matter of you being okay with the Church's transgressions, while others, like me and the author, or not.

[TheBlackCat]

I don't think it's fair to say the only reason anyone would leave the Catholic Church is because they don't understand it.

I was raised in a deeply religious family. I went to Catholic school, then later worked for Pax Christi. I am well aware of exactly what the Church is all about and what it stands for. And I decided to leave it, as have many many many other Catholics.

Are you really so closed minded that you don't think it's possible for anyone to simply not like Catholicism, not approve of the Vatican's running of things, or simply loose faith? The ONLY explanation to why anyone would leave is ignorance?

I personally left because I was introduced to Buddhism. The more I studied it, the more I believed it and the more I preferred its philosophies to the dogma of the Catholic Church.

If someone I know who is Buddhist converted to Catholicism, I would never be so arrogant as to assume that the ONLY reason this could be is because the person "didn't really understand' Buddhism. I would assume that the person simply decided that Catholicism was what they truly believed in. And I wouldn't have the nerve to second guess their faith simply because it is one I don't share.

[LeftRight]

Actually, the HIV rates ARE much lower in the west than they were before Condom distribution became more common. Now the rates are going back up, but that's tied more to the reduction in funding that the bush admin forced on us!

The fact of the matter is that BILLIONS of years of evolution are working against the Pope here, people want to have sex, ESPECIALLY people with no money to do other activities!! Since they are going to have sex ANYWAYS, it makes too much sense to ensure that they are better protected when they do!!!

You and the Pope BOTH need to understand that people will do what people will do, and no matter how much you want them to get what you consider to be morals won't stop them! In that case it's a better idea to acknowledge that they will do what they want to do, and ensure that they have fewer deadly consequences!!!

And one more point, the Pope actually said that Condoms don't stop HIV, not that they weren't the right way to do!

[Spud777]

The Catholic Church is losing parishioners in droves.

[oxi]

Bow to Constantinople and join the original Catholic church, the Orthodox church then!

[Spud777]

Oxi, people are leaving because in the Catholic Church it is my way or the highway, many people are chosing the highway. They still pray to their God, they just are sick and tired of the myriad rules and regulations done by men who have no clue what real life is about. They claim to be pro-life, but support war. This is hyprocrisy and people know it.