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Marcy Miller Headshot

Internet Warfare

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Being victimized by jealous women on the internet is not limited to generals and celebrities. I have also been the target of a cyber bully, and in my case, it was an ex-wife.

I had been dating a man who had recently begun the divorce process and had been living separately from his wife for about five months. We were fixed up by my good friend at a holiday party, and there was chemistry from the start. We began to date and spend time in my part of the city, while the soon-to-be-ex lived in another community about 40 minutes away. We never crossed paths or bumped into one another. As far as I was concerned, she was not even on my radar.

I had heard that she had anger issues and was not well-liked by his kids or his friends. I would joke that she was an easy act to follow, but she hardly seemed to be an issue for my date at all. The marriage had been over for some time and he just wanted to get on with his life.

One night, my date and I went to a movie and I left my cell phone in the car. When I returned, there were over 200 messages on my phone and more coming in. I was alarmed and began to read the texts. They were all from men, stating in various lewd references that they would love to have sex with me and wanted to come over ASAP. I was shocked. I had no idea where they came from and immediately called Verizon, but they were of no help.

Putting to use my best "Nancy Drew" investigative skills, I decided to call one of the men and ask where he had found my contact information. He told me that he was responding to my ad on Craigslist, and he gave me the number of the ad. I rushed home to look it up. There I was, a 36 DD horny Hispanic woman who just wanted to hook up at my house with no strings attached. My cell number was conveniently included.

My next call was to Craigslist, who immediately pulled the ad and were very cooperative. After a brief investigation, it turned out that my date's soon-to-be-ex had placed the ad from a friend's computer, thinking that she would never be traced. But since he did not want to get involved, the friend who owned the computer sang like a canary and ratted her out.

I was furious. I had nothing to do with the break-up of her marriage, so why was she targeting me? It was an attack on an innocent bystander. As a lawyer who believes in fair play, I decided to bring a lawsuit against her. My purpose in doing so was to teach her a lesson so that she would leave me and other future innocent women alone. Ultimately, I dropped any charges in exchange for a written admission of guilt and an apology from her and moved on.

I know how it feels to be harassed and abused on the internet. Divorce is rarely pretty, but it must not cast a broad net that hurts innocent victims. Technology is not a weapon to be used for amusement at someone else's expense.