Often people are curious about the fact that I am married to a man but call myself queer. It's because I have had sex with more than one person, and I had unmarried sex quite a few times, and roughly half the people have been men and the other half have been women, and then there were a few people in between those genders who identified in differing ways, so it's up to me to define myself, too, and so that would be queer. It's the most fitting description, short and concise, and really to-the-point. I don't know why it's a difficult concept to understand. Most of the people I know have had sex with more than one person, and many have sex outside marriage. I just happen to have had it with people all along the gender scale.
I think what I respond to is androgyny, in all its forms. It's often not obvious. Someone can look very male but then reveal himself to be a true lady. A woman can appear incredibly feminine yet be super butch inside. We are all creatures of infinite possibility, and sexuality is one aspect where our souls and bodies really collide. It is one of the few instances where we are both spiritual and physical, so lots happens.
Bisexuality, for me, is probably the right term, too; however, because I am also very attracted to transgendered people, that concept is limiting. To say that there are only two sexes is not true for me in my life, as even I feel somewhat transgendered myself, being female-bodied yet having so many male aspects to my personality. I think I would like to call myself bisexual more frequently because there is much invisibility for the "B"s in the LGBT community. Gays and lesbians might assume that we are not homosexual enough, and straight people might assume that we are in porn. These are both true and false for me. I am both too homosexual and not homosexual enough, and I have appeared in porn films but not having any kind of sex. I am considering this as a possibility for later in my career. How fantastic to start making hardcore porn at the age of 80. I am not threatening you, but I just might. You never know.
Sex is very fascinating to me outside purely prurient interest. In general, the more conservative a person seems from the outside, the stranger they are in bed. I may appear wild, as I discuss sex in a frank manner, have much of my body tattooed and make a sexual spectacle of myself with my comedy and politics; however, I am one of the most vanilla, boring, lifeless, selfish and easily tired lovers of all time. Seriously, I put myself to sleep. I am like a human Ambien and should be pursued by insomniacs the world over, as I will induce REM faster than any pill, with my weak grip and loose mouth. But it will be fun, and at least you could consider yourself queer for liking me, too. And get very sleepy.
Margaret Cho's sixth concert film performance, Cho Dependent, filmed during her 2010 tour, makes its television debut on Showtime on Saturday, Oct. 15. Check local listings for air times. For more info, visit her official website, MargaretCho.com.
Follow Margaret Cho on Twitter: www.twitter.com/margaretcho