Is Expressing Gratitude Loving or Controlling?

We are often told that gratitude is a powerful way to open the heart and manifest what we want. And it does open the heart and support manifestation -- when our gratitude is coming from a sincere desire to be loving to ourselves and with others.
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We are often told that gratitude is a powerful way to open the heart and manifest what we want. And it does open the heart and support manifestation -- when our gratitude is coming from a sincere desire to be loving to ourselves and with others.

But have you ever expressed gratitude to control others, or to control God or the outcome of things?

I've read tons of stuff that essentially said, "If you want to manifest your dreams, express gratitude for what you already have and what you know is coming."

So what's the intent? Is the intent of expressing the gratitude to love yourself by expressing the fullness in your heart, or is the intent to have control over manifesting, by doing it "right"?

Whether expressing gratitude is loving or controlling depends on your intent, and intent can be very subtle!

For me, expressing gratitude is loving when my heart is truly full of gratitude for my life. I think about those times when I'm in awe at the wonder of life, at the spiritual guidance that is always here for me and for everyone, and for the sacred privilege of being in my body to evolve my soul in love.

Then there are those times when I've heard my ego-wounded self say, "We should be grateful now. We need to be grateful in order to manifest what we want. This is what the teachers of the law of attraction say, so this is what we should do. Now, let's think about what we are grateful for." At those times, I can hardly think of anything!

My ego-wounded self would love to be able to control outcomes by following the "rules," but the problem is that when the intent is to control, my frequency is not high enough to manifest.

I have seen over and over that manifestation occurs when my frequency is high. When I'm genuinely open and grateful for all the gifts of Spirit, that's when God's magic can work through me.

There is no pretending this or acting "as if." Either I'm genuinely filled with gratitude and my heart is overflowing with love, or my heart is closed and I'm trying to control the outcome of things by acting grateful. Spirit cannot be fooled!

From my point of view, this is one of the problems with so much of the "new age" stuff -- it's based on following the rules and doing it "right" in order to control. If you pray right, or meditate right or have the right crystals or gems, then you can manifest what you want. What is left out of all of this is intent. I love prayer and meditation and beautiful crystals and gems, but these will do nothing for me if my intent is to control.

I find the same thing true of so many therapies. We are told if we say it right or act right, we can have control over how the other person feels about us or treats us. But we are all extremely sensitive to energy and our intention is always revealed by our energy. If my intent is to control, then no matter how "right" I say something, the other person will likely feel the controlling energy and not like it. On the other hand, when my intent is to love myself and others and support the highest good of all, it hardly matters at all how I say it!

The next time you express gratitude, you might want to open to learning about what your intent is.

To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week eCourse, "The Intimate Relationship Toolbox" - the first two weeks are free!

For more by Margaret Paul, Ph.D., click here.

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