Have you ever tried to reassure yourself about something that you are stressed over but the stress didn't go away? Have you ever practiced affirmations over and over, only to find yourself still feeling badly? Have you wondered why the affirmations and self-reassurance often don't work?
In a session I had with Maryann, she told me about feeling stressed while walking into a bank, because she was thinking of the bad things that could happen to her in the bank -- like being held up at gunpoint. As soon as she realized that she was stressing herself out, she told herself that everything would be fine, yet the stress didn't go away.
"You've told me that I need to tell myself the truth rather than keep telling myself the lies that cause stress, yet when I told myself the truth it didn't make any difference. Why isn't it working?"
"Maryann, did you tell yourself the truth from your programmed mind -- your ego wounded self -- or from your higher mind -- your spiritual Guidance?"
"Oh, it was from my programmed mind. I didn't even think about opening to my higher Guidance."
"Why would your inner child believe your limited mind? Your mind is operating from what has been programmed into it and is intent only on controlling. Your mind created the stressful thought and then created a "true" thought, but your inner child knows that both thoughts are just about controlling. So your inner child does not believe what comes from your wounded self. It only believes what comes through your loving adult from your higher Guidance. It is only your loving adult who has the authority to tell the truth, and we are a loving adult only when we are connected with our spiritual Guidance."
"So unless I'm connected with my spiritual Guidance, my inner child will not be reassured by what I'm telling her?"
"Right. Your wounded self is like a child or adolescent. Would you have the same response to a child or adolescent reassuring you as you would to a wise and knowing adult? If an adolescent tells you that everything is going to be okay, is that as reassuring as an adult telling you that everything is going to be okay?"
"I see what you mean. So this is why it hasn't been working when I try to reassure myself. I'm still stuck in my mind rather than accessing my Guidance."
"Yes. Your mind wants to think it knows the truth, but it actually has no way of knowing what is true and what isn't until it opens to your higher Guidance. This is what being "open-minded" is about. When we are truly open-minded and openhearted, the love and truth from Spirit can flow through us. But when we are intent on controlling, rather than intent on learning, the mind is closed to Guidance. We are then stuck with our programmed thinking, which often causes us much stress. The closed mind has no authority to tell the truth, so your inner child will not be reassured when your wounded self is in charge."
"Okay, I can see the problem here. My mind doesn't want to open to Guidance. My mind likes to be in charge."
"Right. The wounded self doesn't want to give up control. Opening to Guidance is a surrender of control, and this is the last thing that the wounded self wants. Yet this is the only way of accessing truth."
"Oh, I can feel the resistance as you say this! Letting go of control feels so scary!"
"Of course it does! One of the major false beliefs of the wounded self is that letting go of control and surrendering to the Guidance of Spirit will cause us pain. Yet, once again, the mind/wounded self doesn't know what it is talking about!"
Maryann was willing to try allowing Guidance to bring in truth rather than rely on her mind. She discovered that her inner child did indeed calm down when her loving adult was in charge, rather than her wounded self.
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