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Margaret Wheeler Johnson

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'GCB': Why You Need To Watch ABC's Texas Housewives

Posted: 03/ 2/2012 3:05 pm

If there was ever anything to make you wish to God (with a capital G) that Molly Ivins were alive and sitting right next to you with a glass of Maker's, providing a running commentary, it is ABC's new series "GCB" (premiering March 4, 10/9c). I will not be as good at reviewing this fictional Texas scenarios as Ivins was at critiquing things that actually happened in Texas. Have you ever read her take on the Texas legislature? It was a beautiful thing to behold, but I am not there yet. Additional handicaps: 1) I am from the South and grew up visiting relatives in Texas, but I am not a Lone Star native. 2) My taste in television tends toward "The Bachelor" and "Criminal Minds." Consider your source.

Here's what I do know: Generally speaking, it's not terribly effective to give a film or series that you want people to remember a name that is an acronym -- especially an acronym easily confused with CBGB or BCBG. Fortunately, there's an easy way to remember this one -- just remind yourself what the series was going to be called before a lot of people got very upset: "Good Christian Bitches." (For a while after that, the title was going to be "Good Christian Belles," which would have been no fun at all.)

Billed as a Texas version of "Desperate Housewives," the show is based on the book "Good Christian Bitches" by Kim Gatlin, who also co-wrote the series. The premise is this: Recently widowed former mean girl Amanda Vaughn (Leslie Bibb) is forced to move back to her hometown of Dallas with her two kids to live with her socialite mother, played by Annie Potts. The women Amanda terrorized in high school, who in her absence have grown up to control the Dallas society machine, are less than thrilled by Ms. Vaughn's return, especially since their husbands definitely are thrilled. The GCBs, led by Carlene Cockburn (Broadway veteran Kristin Chenoweth), thus conspire to make Amanda's life hell. A lot of the conspiring and hell-raising happens to take place in church.

As Brooks Barnes noted in the New York Times, "If the first episode is any guide, the series ... will be way, way (way) over the top."

I'd say so. The entire thing begins with a failed Ponzi scheme and oral sex that proves fatal to both parties.

It's understandable that some Christians feel that this show misrepresents them: God here is made an accessory to the GCBs outfits and their antics. Some have argued that naming any show "______ Bitches" is demeaning to women in general. That's probably true, and if so, an acronym hardly fixes the problem. And I suppose it threatens to misrepresent Texas women, specifically, to the larger world.

Here's the thing: Shows like this don't just buy into clichés and stereotypes, they call out and revel in them, and invite the audience to do the same. Nothing that happens at Hillside Park Memorial resembles what goes on at a real church (if Kristin Chenoweth regularly gets up at your church and belts out "Jesus Take the Wheel," I'm your newest parishioner). Women generally do not like to be called bitches, but most of us also know women who jokingly apply the B word to themselves and their friends from time to time. And I just don't buy that viewers will come away from this thinking that every woman in Texas drives a Bentley, wears couture and has private Pilates lessons with a man named Jorge. One of the show's writers is Robert Harling, the man behind "Steel Magnolias," "Soapdish," "Sister Act," and "First Wives Club," and its producer is Darren Starr, the man who brought the world "Sex and the City." These guys are tuned in to female audiences' willingness to recognize and laugh at caricatures -- especially of themselves.

I'm not saying "GCB" is perfect. For one thing, it's nearly impossible to feel sympathy for Amanda -- or any woman born with the type of genes that have every married cowboy in twenty miles trying to take her on the desk of his car dealership (for example). Annie Potts should be more Over The Top -- she's at her best that way, and this is certainly the place to let loose. Also, it would be nice if one of the employed GCBs wasn't a real estate agent (that's not stereotype -- that's just lack of imagination).

But this show is so much fun that the weaknesses aren't all that important. Here, I submit, are just a few reasons you should sit back and enjoy "GCB":

  • My only real wish for this series was that it would, at some point, show a person making her end-of-life arrangements asking if she might be buried in the Neiman Marcus parking lot (my Texas family used to speak of women from Fort Worth who had requested this). That is not quite what happens in the first episode -- what happens is better. As Carlene puts it as she spies from her oil-money palace across the street, "Half of Neiman's was just delivered to Amanda's house." I nearly died.
  • The power walking in episode 2. With hand weights.
  • Rhinestones, hats, belt buckles -- it's all there, just like it should be.
  • Carlene's indoor hospitality tent at the Hillside High's first pep rally of the year.
  • The fact that a blogger is giving away a beauty kit that promises to "Texify" you. Hey, it's cheaper than David Yurman bangles.
  • "Cleavage makes your cross hang straight."
  • The relationship between GCB Cricket (Miriam Shor) and her husband, which gets closer to the way things sometimes work in the South than you'd expect.

I think Molly Ivins would approve.

PHOTOS: Scenes From "GCB"

 

Follow Margaret Wheeler Johnson on Twitter: www.twitter.com/mwjohnso

If there was ever anything to make you wish to God (with a capital G) that Molly Ivins were alive and sitting right next to you with a glass of Maker's, providing a running commentary, it is ABC's new...
If there was ever anything to make you wish to God (with a capital G) that Molly Ivins were alive and sitting right next to you with a glass of Maker's, providing a running commentary, it is ABC's new...
 
 
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01:23 PM on 03/13/2012
The part I don't like about GCB the female casting. Unfortunately, it is completely unbelievable that Cockburn (Chenoweth) is the same age as Vaughn (Bibb). I just don't see it. I do LOVE Miriam Shor though!! I love the idea of audiences wanting to get to know her work better and renting the oh so wonderful Hedwig. Now there is a real American movie for you.
12:54 PM on 03/13/2012
Loved it. It is nice just to see a comedy on the air.
02:56 PM on 03/07/2012
It was fun to watch after AMC's "The Walking Dead." Couldn't we just "Zombify" one of the GCB's, Please!?
07:35 PM on 03/05/2012
Bring Back "Pan Am
11:05 AM on 03/05/2012
Ok, I just watched this online, and it was deliciously hilarious!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Dede Eagleburger
Beauty is in the eye of the makeup brush holder
09:43 AM on 03/05/2012
So funny!!!! LMAO...if you liked Steel Magnolias you will love this too...!! it probably won't last :( but I'll enjoy it while it's here!
09:22 AM on 03/05/2012
Take this stupid show off the airways.
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LovingLove
You only have one life , so LIVE.
08:41 AM on 03/05/2012
Very entertaining show. I laughed so hard!! We all know women just like.....THEM! lol
I cannot wait till next SUnday. ABC has some really good shows.

Once Upon a Time and Now...........GBC!!! Yayyy
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09:43 AM on 03/05/2012
Heyyyyyyyyyyyy LL. Good seeing you here!

Mannnnnnnn, I laughed SO hard at that show, especially the last 15 minutes. Thank GOD for Direc.TV......I rewound the DVR and watched those 15 minutes at least 4 times. I LOVE Annie Potts (she has been sorely missed from TV) and Leslie Bibb is so realistic as a former mean girl gone good.

IMO, the BEST line of the night came from Sharon (?): Let's go get some fried twinkies while they're still HOT!

Looking forward to next week. Sunday night on ABC ROCKS!
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LovingLove
You only have one life , so LIVE.
06:11 PM on 03/05/2012
LOL, I know. Such a good show. Are you watching ONCE UPON A TIME?
If not, you should. It is sooo addicting!
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larandall23
My micro-bio is empty for a reason
07:21 AM on 03/05/2012
I watched it. I liked it. I'm from the south, although not from Texas, and was not offended. I thought it was hilarious. Truth be told, if you're from the south, you've either been one of them or know one of them.
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sindfetish
opinions are like___we all have em
07:04 AM on 03/05/2012
watched it...hated it...next...
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misterzook
05:26 PM on 03/05/2012
watched it..loved it...next.
06:57 AM on 03/05/2012
Perfect example of how today, it's not nice to stereotype or lampoon any social/ethnic group, unless of course, if they are white southern Christians. Also, a good example of how those Christians (unlike other less tolerant groups) will not get riled up and even violent when this occurrs. I've lived in Texas all but a year of my life and I've never known people like depicted in the first 20 minutes of GCB. People with the values and behaviors I saw show up at church a handful of times a year, at most, and certainly dont know any Bible verses to quote during their social schemings.
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Mickey Ellis
09:38 AM on 03/05/2012
You're really lucky not to have experience with characters like these in your church. They proliferated in mine.
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09:45 AM on 03/05/2012
Sadly, I'm Christian and I know folks EXACTLY like all of the characters............and they are all church members.

Lighten up.
06:55 AM on 03/05/2012
Great casting on the men, too. I haven't laughed out loud during network TV in I don't know how long. It's the new DH. Let the games begin....
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06:08 AM on 03/05/2012
Is this another reality show? Sure doesn't say much for the folks who live in Dallas!
01:37 AM on 03/05/2012
Considering the cast how could they loose, I think it will be a hit with an interesting opportunity to mix things up a bit. Much Luck to them ...:)
Suffer No Fools
MORE abortions--not less.
01:18 AM on 03/05/2012
I already LOVE this... :D
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LovingLove
You only have one life , so LIVE.
08:41 AM on 03/05/2012
Me too.