Our Children Are Watching

It's day three for Sonia Sotomayor on the Capitol, and like many of us, I am dismayed by the politics and punditry surrounding the confirmation proceedings. Yet what troubles me most about the negative and sexist remarks is this: our children are watching.

Years ago, Dr. Carol Gilligan, whose work on the loss of voice and confidence in young girls reaching adolescence made her an expert in the field, worked with my team at the Ms. Foundation on a public education campaign to make adults think about how their environment affected girls.

We strongly considered fashioning stickers that could be placed on billboards, magazines, advertisements, and products which begged the question: "A girl is watching. What is she learning about being a woman?" We felt those simple stickers would force women and men alike to view their surroundings in a completely different light, and reexamine the subtle and overt messages which girls interact with on a daily basis. Eventually, we came up with the hugely successful Take Our Daughters to Work Day campaign, but I always regretted that we didn't produce the stickers as well.

As I watch the news coverage of Sotomayor, I wish I could plaster those stickers over TV screens and pundit mouths across the nation. Because truly, what are we teaching our girls -- particularly girls of color -- about being a woman who strives to lead? And how are we teaching our boys to treat them when they grow into men?

The knowledge we are imparting to girls is this: you may work really hard and make it to the top of your class. You may get distinguished degrees from Princeton and Yale, have a successful career, and even be hand-picked by the President of the United States for the highest court in the land. Yet people on TV will call you "domineering" because you're an outspoken woman. They will bring up your menstruation and call it "really bad" for the decisions you make. If you're a woman of color, they may even joke about sending you vacuum cleaners to clean up after meetings. At the very least, you will be asked to cut off the parts of yourself that reflect your race or gender in exchange for a seat at the tables of power.

In his opening remarks on Monday, Sen. Charles Schumer reminded us that Sotomayor's compelling life story will inspire a new generation of women. As White House Project research has shown, role models are critical in allowing young women -- particularly women of color -- to envision themselves in the political realm.

Yet these proceedings may also serve to discourage a generation of women from following in Sotomayor's trailblazing footsteps precisely because of the treatment they are witnessing - and repeat the cycle by allowing boys to believe this treatment is acceptable and deserved. I implore our congressional leaders and our talking heads to take this weighty concept into account the next time they judge Sotomayor on anything but her record and merits -- and to remember, our children are watching.

Follow Marie Wilson on Twitter: www.twitter.com/twhp

Comments

[Dianne Baumert-Moyik]

She has done an outstanding job and is holding her own. Let's get the confirmation hearings done and move on with creating more jobs for Americans and protecting others from losing them.

[scorpio09]

From across the pond in Europe, the "Old Europe" as Rumsfeld referrred to with contempt.
( I am not a socialist I should ad), I watched the videos on the hearing. I am male and not white and to me the Republican senators behaved more like the yesterday men of the "Old Europe", time-warped in their opinions, and their questioning bordered outright sexism and racism. I do notagree with the judge in all what she says, but she endured all these sexist and racist-line of
questioning with dignity. I have no problems, living in the Rumsfeld's" Old Europe", about this judge's comment "wise latina" which was contextual and the way these white male senators were
behaving reinforcing their time-warped prejudices makes me to undertstand why she made
such a comment. The senators are mostly male, senior citizens ( Iam one but understands the modern world) and mostly attorneys. If they were drawn from teachers, social workers or other professional stock, they would know the real world. I heard Mr Sessions making comments about French judicial system. I am not French, I like the English Legal System, but making remarks about other systems in that way is plain prejudice. He forgets that the France has the best healthcare system in the world, it looks after its old folks well and has free education from nursery to university. More progressive than the world he is familiar with. I am happy to be in "Old Europe".

[puffin]

I don't get this. Judge Sotomayor was treated with respect and her life "story" was trumpeted repeatedly by both sides of the committee. She was politely questioned on some glaring inconsistencies between past statements and current testimony.
So, what is the phantom you are trying to fight?
If you want to look at a social problem, think about why young men of many races are not succeeding (e.g college entry and graduation etc.).

[weatherwaxx]

I think you're right -- the whole point of the show is the same as it was in the Anita Hill testimony -- the rich white boys (and their co-opted tokens) are making sure everyone sees that they mean to beat up on anybody who tries to take any of their power away.

I grew up watching Father Knows Best.

Todays girls grew up watching Xena, Warrior Princess....

[nippyfan]

I would hope I raise my daughters in a manner that would encourage them to want even more to follow in the footsteps of someone who went through adversity to get where she is. Nothing ventured nothing gained. that's the problem in America, we are raising soft and weak children. Toughen up. Rise above. It's necessary to accomplish anything. Becoming a judge isn't the easiest task as it is.

[Wydia]

I disagree, though I appreciate the sentiment. I believe that, as with their older compatriots, most younger women will see right through the ridiculous attacks and posturing going on by many of those questioning Justice Sotomayor. Further, I believe that those younger women will be inspired and impressed by the totally competent and classy way she is responding to these silly white males who are quaking in their boots as they realize their time of dominance is "slip sliding away."

[WWYD]

I totally agree Wydia, have they no shame? They are petrified and are shamelessly showing it. Justice Sotomayor was clearly the smartest person in the room and a true inspiration to all. Her class and grace resonated with me as I listened and learned from her answers.

I like the idea of stickers that read "A boy is watching. What is he learning about being a man?"
Men and boys must be held accountable for their treatment of women and girls.

[fisher65]

i was thinking that too , nice article , another thing they see are the republicans being extremely rude to others and their hate speeches.

[tess01]

Meh. I think the confirmation hearings have been ridiculous in focusing on one really harmless comment. But I don't have a problem with questions probing judicial temperament. Our girls today are tougher than they were in the 60s and before. They're better educated, they play competitive sports, they are entering traditionally male bastions in droves, and they have plenty of role models in public life. I'm not too worried that young girls are going to take some kind of life lesson that if you are a woman seeking a high position, people are allowed to be mean to you. I think women with such aspirations learn to deal with it, and it isn't bad training for life for either gender. Rather than suggesting temperament issues be banned from the hearing room, I wish they were addressed more to all judicial candidates. From a sexism standpoint, I'm more concerned about the manner in which Hillary Clinton was treated by the media during the campaign than I am about Sotomayor being confronted with comments by practitioners who found her demeanor on the bench to be hostile. Male or female bench officers need to learn from this--being imperious and discourteous while on the bench may come back to bite you. The public face some of these judges put on the justice system through their demeanor in court is offputting and discouraging to both sexes.

[PeaceSuccess2be]

Amen to that! I agree completely. Great Article!!