Regardless of where you stand on the Spanglish debate, for those of us who live in both languages there comes a time when you will inevitably put your foot in your mouth. Case in point: I was trying pants at a cute little store in Buenos Aires. I came out of the fitting room, checked myself in the mirror and said, "Estos pantalones no hacen nada por mi," literally, "These pants don't do anything for me." Only in Spanish, that sounds absolutely ridiculous, which is exactly why the confused sales woman asked, "What were you expecting them to do?"
In terms of language, that was a pretty bad trip. Later that same week, as I was riding in a taxi, the driver took the service road instead of the main highway. Concerned, I asked the driver, "¿Por qué toma la ruta de servicio?" To which he replied with what I might have taken as an insult to my Argentinian pride, "Are you from Uruguay?" The word I should've used was "colectora," rather than the literal translation of "service road."
These mistakes don't just happen when I'm back visiting family in my native country. They also happen at much less appropriate times, such as when I'm presenting in front of a large audience. Usually, Murphy's Law is in full swing during these occasions, and the more important the audience the deeper my foot goes into my throat. A good example is the time when I was sharing the importance of networking with great speakers at conferences. I said, "They usually have a very large rooster of contacts." The good thing is that I usually catch myself just as the words are leaving my mouth. "Or is it roster?"
As bad as that sounds, that wasn't half as bad as when talking about leveraging the Latino advantage in the workplace I said that, "Latinos create strong bondage with other people." Not two seconds had gone by and I added, "I mean bonds, bondage is something else, right?" But of course it was already too late and the audience was laughing hysterically, while I hoped nobody was recording the presentation for a quick YouTube upload.
Spanish language learners suffer through these mishaps all the time as well. How many times have you heard people say about a situation, "Estoy embarazada" (I'm pregnant) when what they really want to say is, "Estoy avergonzada"? Or, "Estoy constipada" (I'm constipated) instead of ,"Estoy resfriada" (I have a cold)? , "No me realicé" (I didn't make myself) instead of , "No me dí cuenta" (I didn't realize). Or, "Te voy a introducir a Pedro" (I'm going to insert you into Pedro) instead of, "Te voy a presentar a Pedro" (I'm going to introduce you to Pedro).
Although these false cognates, literal translations, and similarly sounding words that mean entirely different things in Spanish and English are usually a source of confusion, they can also be a great way to poke fun at yourself. Which is the best way to deal with the situation even for public speakers like myself. Just as I publicly acknowledge I'm prepositionally challenged, most of the time when I make a mistake I self-correct, or I candidly ask for help from the audience when I forget a word or I can only think about it in Spanish. The trouble is what do you do when the audience doesn't speak Spanish?
My friend Brian is fond of reminding me of the time when I was sharing a story about trying to get his girlfriend to come for a walk with me. I had run into her early in the morning as she was walking her dog. "But she was wearing... what do you call those shoes you wear in the house?" And he looked at me in disbelief and asked, "Slippers" And I just went on, "Right, she was wearing slippers so I knew she would say no to my invitation." From that day on, every time he sees me he says, "What do you call the... slippers???" I tell him that until he learns to speak a second language, he won't earn the right to tease me.
The truth is that if you only speak one language you save yourself all of this trouble. But then again, you don't get all the benefits of being multilingual and multicultural.
So here's my recommendation for those fortunate enough to be suffering from embarrassing (or shall I say "pregnant"?) moments such as the ones I just shared: lie back, relax and enjoy the ride!
This column originally appeared on Fox News Latino.
Follow Mariela Dabbah on Twitter: www.twitter.com/marieladabbah
WOW, that's an accomplishment that will surely gain us even LESS respect and social mobility (in a downward trajectory, I'm afraid.
Oh yeah, "spanglish" is the way to go. Sort of like where EBONICS took American blacks. Nice try though...Y aun mona te quedaste idota..
But if you ever decide to venture outside the barrio walls, you'll find there is a world out there that looks at Spanglish and thinks only 1 thing..."que bruto"
But like I said, when in Jackson Heights do what gets you by, but don't wonder why the rest of the world has moved on and you're still waving a little plastic flag as you stand watching the parade go by (without you in your Spanglish delusion).
As my Corsican-born, Puerto Rican grandfather once said to me..."mi'jo cuando el hombre pierde la verguenza nadie se la devuelve".
You might want to look for yours.
P.S. You won't find it on the Taco Bell label.
Disappoint means to quash someone's hope. It is the same with its French origin, disappointer. But Spanish desapuntar means exactly what it says -- to break an appointment.
Another problem is that Spanish in Spain is more dialectic but this or that South American country may have picked up a dialectic usage. For instance, puerco means a pig in standard Spanish, but along the border with France whose word is cochon, some Spaniards say coche. Coche, however, is commonly used to mean car. This created a miscommunication for the wife of a diplomat who had been transferred to another Latin American country when she told the maid to make sure the front gates were unlocked before a party so the coches could get in. The maid was totally confused at the idea of pigs coming in to mill about the courtyard.
;-)
I don't must to learn nothing, I speak in very beautiful English :P
My best "foot in mouth" story is from I was studying abroad in Mexico. I had just had to walk home in the rain, and I tried to say that I was soaked ("Estoy empapada.") Instead I said, "Estoy empanizada," which means "I'm breaded." I never lived that one down with my Mexican friends.
But regardless of their economic situation, these immigrants are the most genteel people you'd ever care to meet. They never smile at my mistakes. Instead, they warmly assure me I have "beautiful Spanish" and thank me for helping their children.
Such people renew my desire to do all I can for those kids.
"Spanglish" may be cute and comical among friends...
"cojelo con take it easy",
"te watcho los children"
"oye, compramel hamburger con fries"
"vamos a la marqueta"
"ven al roofo"
But don't take that linguistic joke to your interview at Apple or Wall Street or your interview will be over before you can say..."you quiero Taco Bell".