We were giving a radio interview the other day on our book. It was one of those interviews where you could just sense that the show host had never read our material and was simply trying to "wing" it. Not the best of energy...
She kept asking questions that were just off-topic to both of us. On each occasion we subtly deviated our answers and tried to gently bring her back to the essence of our content. When she finally realized that we wrote a self-help book for people who are still seeking to find the ideal life partner in spite of how many heartbreaks or separations they may have had, the radio show host blurted out something like this:
"Well, I've been married for more than 40 years to my college sweetheart, and I just can't understand why so many people are jumping from one relationship to another!"
To make a long story short, we sincerely congratulated her on the longevity of her marriage and concluded the interview by confirming three things:
#1 Our book was probably not for her...
(Though we've had comments from people in current relationships who said it has helped them a lot.)
#2 Despite her success, today's sad reality is that more than 50 percent of marriages and free unions end up in a breakup.
#3 If we want to change an outcome in any area of our life, we have to stop wishful thinking and put up a game plan to get the desired results.
This often surprises the people who are the closest to us, but we too have our moments of "wishful thinking." Yes, we have had several "big ideas" that we didn't act upon and therefore, have never materialized... Mario for instance, had this great idea for the perfect wine chiller... which he eventually left aside to focus on what he does best in that field: drink the wine! Younger he also wanted to be a NHL hockey player while Diane saw herself as a superstar professional dancer! The closest we ever got to any of the above was typically just a few minutes before the alarm clock woke us up to go to work in the morning...
Jokes aside, we believe in the power of dreams and pursuing goals. But they are very different from wishful thinking because real dreams and goals have a game plan attach to them. In fact, ever since we got together, we've made this a practice and a critical component of our relationship.
A few times a year, we sit down and review our goals in all areas of our lives. As a result, we've been blessed with the manifestation of several of them, but more importantly, with the understanding of a big revelation: the BIGGER the goal, the more FOCUS and DEDICATION it will take. Nothing to do with wishful thinking...
We believe that everyone has the capacity to choose and act towards what they intend to create in their lives. Sentimental relationships are no different, whether you are in one or longing to have one. It starts with a clear decision. For us, the decision and goal at the top of our accomplishments is without a doubt the one we made long before we met each other: to no longer settle or compromise for the relationship we wanted. And here's the best part: You, too, can make that decision.
Decide to shake things up in 2016. Make a shift. Stop the wishful thinking and put up a game plan to get the desired results.
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Authors, bloggers and relationship coaches Diane and Mario Cloutier found each other in 1998 after they both had experienced unfulfilling relationships. Their new book, Relovenship™ - Look Within to Love Again! (Xclamat!on Media, 2015) gives inspiration, hope and a step-by-step methodology to people who have had romantic disappointments and are still looking to find "the one." Mario Cloutier is founder and chief creative officer of Xclamat!ion Marketing. Diane Sawaya Cloutier enjoyed a successful career in managerial roles with Fortune 500 organizations before focusing full time on the couple's ReLovenship™ book and seminars. For booking inquiries or to learn more about the authors, go to ReLovenship.com.