On November 19, 2010, a 20-year-old college student named Jenni-Lyn Watson was killed while she was home in New York for Thanksgiving break. Police arrested her 21-year-old ex-boyfriend, who they say was upset about Watson's wishes to end their relationship. Police say he had left her body in a park near her home, hidden under debris.
Jenni-Lyn's murder is a harsh reminder of the tragic reach of intimate partner violence in the United States. It also highlights the timeliness and urgency of a documentary called Telling Amy's Story. Produced by Penn State Broadcasting and funded by the Verizon Foundation, the film tells the story of Amy Homan-McGee, a 33-year-old mother of two who was killed by her husband in 2001 when she decided to leave him after suffering years of abuse. While Amy's four-year-old and seven-month-old sons waited in the car with her mother, Amy entered her home to retrieve some of her belongings. Her husband, Vincent McGee, was waiting for her and fatally shot her in the head.
By laying bare one woman's story and the many opportunities to alter its outcome, Telling Amy's Story has the power to educate, heal, empower and -- most importantly -- save lives. I had the great privilege of working on the film, and it has aired on nearly 300 public television stations, reaching markets covering 85 percent of the United States population.
Liz Claiborne Inc. is also in the process of releasing data from their 2010 College Dating Violence and Abuse Poll in conjunction with their groundbreaking "Its Time to Talk Day". The survey found that 41 percent of dating freshmen and seniors have experienced violence and abusive dating behaviors in their lifetime, with more than half of those surveyed saying they have difficulty identifying what constitutes dating abuse.
These statistics from Liz Claiborne Inc., a longtime leader in the fight to end domestic violence, add important new details to what we already know: One in three women will experience physical or sexual abuse in her lifetime. More than 32 million Americans are affected by domestic violence each year. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women in the United States, with women aged 16-24 most vulnerable to intimate partner violence. And three women -- women from every walk of life, women like Amy Homan-McGee -- are murdered by their intimate partners every day.
I learned about domestic, intimate-partner and sexual violence when I started working on Law & Order: SVU. Viewers started sending me letters: "Hi, my name is Sarah. I'm 42 years old. My husband has been beating me for seven years, and I have never told anyone." In response to the realities these letters gave voice to, I started the Joyful Heart Foundation in 2004. We have helped more than 5000 survivors find healing, education and empowerment through our retreat and wellness programs, and I am so proud that Joyful Heart is part of a movement that will change the way we talk about and behave around these epidemics.
Telling Amy's Story and Liz Claiborne's College Dating Violence and Abuse Poll are making important, bold and timely contributions to that movement. You have the power to do the same. Become the person in your community -- perhaps the first, hopefully the first among many -- who knows the signs of domestic and intimate partner violence, who knows how to respond to a victim with compassion and wisdom, and who knows how participate in creating a society where perpetrators will not be allowed to abuse with impunity and without consequence.
Learn more about intimate partner violence at LoveIsNotAbuse.com. Find airdates for "Telling Amy's Story" here. And, most importantly, if you or someone you know needs help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224, or go to TheHotline.org.
You have the power to save lives.
Randy Susan Meyers: Ignoring Signs of Domestic Homicide
In addition to working with victims and their families, we are constanly working to raise awareness in our community. Everyone as to be ready to stand up against violence that destroys familes. These victims are our family members, friends, and members of our community. We all have to stand together to say that this violence is not acceptable and that we will no longer tolerate it.
Congratulations to Mariska Hargitay for using her fame to bring t his issue to our attention!
One thing that has always struck me, we rarely hear of domestic violence outside of marriage where the couple has not been sexually intimate. Have you noticed that as well?
Jilted men may become pre-occupied, obssessed and jealous because of the terminal nature of 'loss of intimacy'. The greatest intimacy, and the most precious to be valued highly, is the act of sexual committance. Personally I have never heard of a violent act by a boyfriend or a girlfriend when this line of ultimate intimacy had been crossed.
Mind you, there are 'stalkers' who having been absent from a person's life lash out and a person always has to be wary of disinterested third party activity in their life. Anyway, thanks again for your contributions because you are held in high regard by me and many others. Happy Holidays.
but there are many of us who were victims who do not become abusers.... but I'll tell ya what, I can spot an abuser a mile away... just look at the fear in the eyes of their wives and children...
There is a false belief that abusers were abused.
This has become a sympathy ploy attempted by abusers who seek out lenient sentences.
Abuse is about power and control.
I was referring to sexual abusers.
I do agree that spousal abuse is often a learned behaviour.
http://www.csom.org/pubs/mythsfacts.html
Not only did they return to their tormentor, but they were careless and did not keep MY identity secret from their violent significant other. They exposed me to revenge acts. And of course, they burned bridges behind them, as I would NOT take them back if they wanted to hide again.
NEVER AGAIN. And certainly I would discourage anyone who asks me from offering this type of help.
Thank you for trying to help.
It was not until my 30s that I realized my mother suffered from a personality spectrum disorder (probably BPD). And although I had very little contact with my family after my teens, life has been a huge struggle for me.
I urge all adults witnessing crazy adults wailing upon children to stand up for the children, even if violence is not overt in those instances.
I had 2 abusive parents. Dad was a beater and mom was bipolar. I finally realized two things. They did the best they could, [yes, it was not good enough.] and I have become the person I am today because I am the sum of my experiences.
If you can't afford professional help, there are many support groups. Try to find one.
Best wishes and good luck.
F/F
And best wishes to you, too. May we all draw strength from our suffering to help others.
Having very little or no contact with your family is a good thing. People can divorce their parents, and sometimes they should do so for their own mental health. But you were treated badly during times of important cognitive development. You internalized your mother's messages of humiliation and belittlement for a long time. It takes time to overcome those terrible messages.
From the 80's on, we can see that there should be no shame putting this out into the public eye as a way to protect potential victims. For some, the subject of abuse may be one which might offend one person or another but the openness of this has a greater good.
As a victim of sexual abuse at a young age, I felt that I had no where to turn to and as such, had to continue to endure the abuse until I was strong enough to say NO!! When it ultimately came out in the family (2 of my other siblings), there is still denial to this day by the others who went untouched
We can see now, in the revelations of victims who where abused in the church as to the timing of these abuses where most abuse occurred 30/40 years ago when priests had no fear of being exposed for their wrong doings.
For those victims in sexual and physical abuse, I can only suggest that you use that experience to help others who may be victims themselves. My abuse has allowed me to recognize some of the signs that other victims are showing and have been able to intervene.
Mariska, I am a huge fan. Thank you for your efforts in the article, on the show and in your everyday life!!!