True Blood Sucker Punch: Episode Three

NOTE: This post contains spoilers.

Welcome to Sucker Punch, the only blog post that ranks the gaudiest moments on this week's episode of True Blood.

To introduce this week's installment, "Scratches," let me quote my favorite line:

Sarah doesn't whip out her pudding for just anybody.

Yes, that's what Reverend Steve Newlin says after his wife gives Jason Stackhouse a dish of sweetness.

There's so much to unpack there. For one thing, the quote comes right after Sarah and Steve kiss in front of Jason for a really long time. Like... long enough that somebody should light a cigarette. And then there's the fact that earlier in the day, Jason and Sarah share a kneeling prayer over their mutual past as vampire sympathizers. It's very tender, and it wins Jason a dinner invitation. He's clearly the golden boy.

But when Steve praises Sarah's "pudding," he's not just talking dessert. Like... what does it mean to be chosen by the Fellowship? Does it mean Jason's been "chosen" to hold the camera or "chosen" to wear the costume?

The sexy shenanigans would be gauche enough if the Newlins were tax collectors, but since they're religious leaders, their come-ons are delicious. And I think the Newlins know how sexual they sound. In True Blood, power always comes with devious wisdom.

I can't declare Pudding Time this week's Sucker Punch, however, because it's clear the Newlins have something crazier in store.

Meanwhile, their dynamic with Jason parallels Maryann's relationship with Tara: In both cases, powerful figures are reaching out to guilty souls, and their succor has strings. Both Tara and Jason are so hungry to belong somewhere that they overlook warning signs.

Except that Tara's waking up. It's a relief to see her notice what a Bacchanal Maryann's party has become, and Sucker Punch Honorable Mention goes to the return of the witch's pig, relaxing in its own little playhouse. My quibble with this episode, however, is that Maryann's arc is repetitive. Yes, Tara gets suspicious and the carousing intensifies, but we saw the black-eyed boogie last week in Merlotte's. We need more information about what the revelry means.

For all the ways Maryann stands still, however, Jessica zooms forward. She's currently my favorite character on the show because her stories expertly balance Gothic excess and relatable emotion. Those romantic scenes with Hoyt are just so sweetly, truthfully awkward, and they remind us that no matter what the Fellowship says, certain vampires are more vulnerable than menacing. Ten points to Deborah Ann Woll for conveying Jessica's swirl of deadly bloodlust and teenage jitters. Equal points to Jim Parrack, since he has to invent Hoyt's tender side in two scenes. We have no reason to expect that Hoyt can be romantic, but the writing and the performance make it seem plausible right away.

Romance doesn't equal a Sucker Punch, of course, but I'll tell you what does: Minotaur scratches. Not the ones that Daphne (Sam's new waitress) has on her back, but the ones Sookie gets from the man-bull who attacks her in the woods.

The Sucker Punch comes when Sookie gets healed. While she's naked. In the back of Fangtasia. Being ministered by a little person with a remarkable knowledge of supernatural poisons. Watching Baby Doc shove her finger into Sookie's back wounds is totally gross, but it's awesome because the doctor is so casual that she might as well be fishing an earring out of her couch. And then we see Eric lurking in the background, popping a fang-on and looking so turned on he could pounce.

Any scene that blends horniness, an odd doctor, and Sookie's foaming mouth deserves to be our Sucker Punch of the Week.

On that note: I just made a video arguing that True Blood deserves to be nominated for an Emmy for Outstanding Drama Series. (Nominations are announced next month.) Whether you agree with me or think I'm crazy, you should totally watch me plead my case.

Follow Mark Blankenship on Twitter: www.twitter.com/CritCondition

Comments

[LadyJay]

Wow I am so happy you came up on GOOGLE search and I found your sucker punch series. This explains so many many many questions. FOL!! I look forward to the next writing.

[Erics Donor]

Love your writing. I LOL every time! It's pudding time! LOL

[marijam]

Love the show, but what's with those outrageous false eyelashes this season? I'll have to watch one of last season's episodes to see if they were the same last season, but they seem more prominent this season.

I was disappointed in the treatment Sookie was given after having been attacked by the maenad, in comparison to treatment in the books, but I'll get over it. Can't wait for things to get rolling with Sookie-Bil­l-Eric-Laf­ayette in Dallas.

[Rolfe Norman]

This season has been on fire! True Blood has become one of my favorite shows of all time. What the hell was that, that attacked Sookie? Every storyline on this show is fantastic. I can't wait to see what happens with Jason and the Nevins. I am enjoying the Jessica storyline as well. I was not a big fan of hers when she first appeared at the end of last season, but she has surprisingly became less annoying. I can't wait until the next episode. Too bad it does not air until June 12. Why the random week off? That is not like HBO.

[TotallyAmazed]

Yep, here at my house we practically spewed our sweet ice-tea all over the living room when we heard that . . . "Sarah doesn't whip out her pudding for just anybody..." I think 'whip out' might have been the operative words, there. Too clever.

Enjoyed your thoughts on the entire show, and watched your Emmy pitch for BIG LOVE and TRUE BLOOD. I'm with you 100% on both shows. Both shows are over the top entertaining, and also throw more than a smattering of things to consider.

Can't wait till next week. /TotallyAmazed

[TheSojourner]

I pegged Maryanne as Circe in the last season. A lot of clues, especially if you're familiar with the Greek and Roman mythologies. Further plot developments corroborated my conclusion. I am really enjoying this update on vampire lore. I think it's a fresh, original viewpoint. I hope it sticks around a while. I was really ticked at the loss of "Deadwood", "Carnivale", "Huff", and "Dead Like Me", to name a few off the top of my head. I got cable installed as an antidote to the humdrum commercial programs, only to find that I was just as disappointed by cable's unwillingness to give programs a chance. I thought cable would preclude that. Am I the only one this bothers?

[yellowdogdemocratic]

I was SO upset when HBO canceled Carnivale. I almost boycotted HBO for that (almost).

[millagorilla]

Holy crap, I just wiki'd up Circe, and that fills in so many gaps about Maryann's mythology. I had some guesses regarding fairy folk or nymphs, but the Circe theory nailed it. Good work.

[Isis N]

She's a maenad.

[lilNYmama]

while that's true in the book, it's also true that it was a maenad scratch on sookie's back in the book, while alan ball appears to have turned it into a minotaur, who has scratched more than one person - AND they lived (daphne) - in the series. what does it mean that daphne lived, did she morph into another type of being in order to survive? sam does not flee maryann, does not know her from a childhood encounter, but actually has a fling with her in the book. yet, it's totally different here. it does make sense that maryann would still be a maenad though, as she has a penchant for gluttony, booze, sex & long flowy greek-ish dresses....

[CynAnne]

Indeed, Mark! Your recap is a big ol' "..slice of heaven.." (and I don't mean that 'nana puddin', either). I also think Jess and Hoyt make a cute couple (upon reflection, I think perhaps Jason's still too much of a 'player' to give Jess what she needs, after her life-and-u­ndeath-tim­es worth of emotional neglect). The scene where Hoyt kissed Jess, and she was so horrified and embarrassed about her fangs, and Hoyt was then so sweet to her..that was a 'clincher' for me, too. And the second I saw the swine in his little hog-hacienda at Maryann's place, I whooped in triumph (unfortunately unnerving my cat as I did so)..if she's not Circe, I'll be rather disappointed, to say the least..

[Isis N]

She's a maenad in the books... But could be a maenad/minotaur in the show...

[CynAnne]

But her changing Sam back into his animal form, and the plump porker we saw last night seem much closer to Circe's mythology than the maenad..and minotaur are males, usually (hence those big ol' horns). Makes me wonder though, as an aside..maybe shape-shifters aren't poisoned by the venom of the minotaur the way regular humans like Sookie are - that would explain the scars on Daphne's back, if she too is some form of loup-garou.. ;) ...

[lilNYmama]

my guess is that her "butler" is the minotaur. i think she also had a (razorback) pig in the books, no?