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10 Best Topical Jokes of the Week

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A former nanny for Britney Spears is suing the pop star for over 35,000 dollars, alleging that she was never paid for her work from over three years ago. Britney addresses the issue in her new song, "Oops, I Stiffed You Again."

A new survey of Americans and their sexual practices finds that people reported engaging in more than 40 combinations of acts during their most recent encounters, including masturbation and oral sex. Or double that number for members of Cirque du Soleil.

Francisco Everardo Oliveira Silva, an illiterate clown, won election Sunday to Brazil's Congress, getting more votes than any other candidate. Said Silva, "This is a victory for all people with big floppy shoes and a dream."

Former Vice President Walter Mondale said this week that he thinks one of President Obama's problems is his reliance on teleprompters when speaking to potential voters. The remark sent shockwaves through the nation, as most people thought Mondale had died years ago.

To raise money, officials for the Peabody, Massachusetts school system have started selling ad space on letters sent home to parents. "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Collins, I'll get to Timmy in a moment, but first this word from Trojan Condoms..."

To raise money for Parkinson's disease research, a man in Michigan plans to ride his Harley-Davidson about 300 miles without using his hands to steer. The man is being mentored by former Pamela Anderson boyfriend, rocker Tommy Lee.

According to new research, Neanderthals probably had a sensitive side, displaying a "deep-seated sense of compassion." So, men, if a woman calls you a Neanderthal, thank her.

A company in Lithuania is planning a vacation resort that will be staffed entirely by blondes. The resort's opening has been delayed, however, as the blondes are having trouble finding the place.

A new study shows that 28 percent of Americans believe in an authoritative God, 22 percent believe in a benevolent God, and 24 percent believe they are God.

A new play has opened in London called "Lullaby," which was designed to put the audience to sleep. A PBS spokesperson commented, "Our news show, Washington Week, has the exact same effect and it's free."