Bigfoot to Become Newest <i>American Idol</i> Judge

All of Hollywood is abuzz with the latest celebrity news which indicates that Bigfoot will be joining Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez and Randy Jackson as the newestjudge.
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All of Hollywood is abuzz with the latest celebrity news which indicates that Bigfoot will be joining Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez and Randy Jackson as the newest American Idol judge on the Fox TV hit. A reliable inside source reveals that a certain studio head has his heart set on this recently proposed casting coup. "It's the perfect choice for a number of reasons," states the source. "First, no one's ever used Bigfoot before on a high profile musical variety TV series. Since people associate Bigfoot with size, strength, power, and ruthfulness -- it's ideal because he'll be the perfect balance to the other judges."

Not everyone is so positive about the proposed addition to the show. "It's stunt casting, pure and simple," pooh-poohs veteran publicist Margo Ramakin. "The show is feeling threatened by the success of The Voice and is doing this out of sheer desperation." But will it work? "I won't rule it out," says Ramakin, "but chances are the show will become the laughingstock of the industry."

As it happens, Bigfoot was already a longtime fan of American Idol. "Are you kidding?" stated Bigfoot. "Who doesn't love that show? I've had so many moving, exciting hours of entertainment watching it, it's a dream come true to be asked to judge." As to his favorite performers on the show over the years, Bigfoot confided, "Well, there are just so many, but I guess some of my favorites are Kelly Clarkson, Ruben Studdard, Fantasia Barrino, Carrie Underwood, Taylor Hicks, Jordin Sparks, David Cook, Kris Allen, Lee DeWyze and Scotty McCreery."

Although Bigfoot is a relative newcomer to performing on television, he is by no means a newcomer to show business. His resume includes years of work in community theater, as a street musician, and as a mime at the Renaissance Fair. He has also worked as a fire-eater, delivered door-to-door singing telegrams, and juggled for spare change in the park.

In preparation for his judging role, Bigfoot has been studying with famed Hollywood performance coach Miles Duvalier. He is also watching many of the older American Idol shows, as well as The Voice. In addition, he is working with celebrity personal trainer Ivan Suchinko to lose some weight and firm his muscles.

As for Bigfoot's future show business plans -- "I'd love to do something light -- perhaps a sitcom," Bigfoot confides. "Maybe one where I play the dad. And if Scarlett Johansson is available to play my wife -- well, that would be a little bit of heaven."

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