Donald Trump Fires His Shadow

Donald Trump Fires His Shadow
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Trump firing his shadow.

Although flamboyant, egomaniacal real estate mogul Donald Trump is famous for using his job-ending catch-phrase, "You're fired!" on his hit TV show, "The Apprentice," he may have finally taken things too far -- he's just fired his own shadow! "It's absolutely true," swears a Trump insider who insists on remaining anonymous. "I was there when it happened. The Donald was in a foul mood that day to start. A couple of his deals had fallen through. His employees had made some costly mistakes. That's when Trump noticed his shadow was just sitting there, not doing anything, and, well, he just kind of flipped out."

According to the insider, Trump glared with hatred at his shadow. "His face got really red and he started screaming at the shadow, 'Look at you! You do nothing all day but copy me -- and I've got enough yes-men as it is! You just take up space! You're a leech! A complete waste! I have no further use for you! You're fired! Now get out!'"

When Trump noticed, a few minutes later, that his shadow was still there, he called security and demanded that they escort his shadow out of the building. When they were unable to do so, he fired them, too. None of this apparently came as a total surprise to long-time Trump employees. Recalls the insider, "In the past few years, The Donald has fired his heart, his soul, his digestive system, his hair, his daughter, and the Pope."

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