Religious Right Demands City of Intercourse, PA Change Its Name

Image courtesy of www.pdc.wikipedia.org

Tuscaloosa, AL -- The Religious Right, together with representatives of the Christian Coalition and the American Family Association, is organizing a multi-state march on one tiny village in Pennsylvania, demanding that it immediately change its name. The name? "Intercourse." One dictionary definition defines "intercourse" as "Dealings or communications between persons or groups." It's that other definition, however, that's got the conservative groups' goat. The Christian Coalition's Lydia Hopwinkle explains, "Here it is, right here in Webster's - 'Intercourse - physical sexual contact between individuals that involves the genitalia of at least one person.' Now, I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to live in a place named after a sexual act, and I wouldn't want my children, or anyone else's children, living there, either!"

Complicating the matter is the fact that Intercourse happens to be an Amish village, and the generally conservative, pious Amish apparently don't seem to be bothered by the name. "What could they possibly have been thinking?" asks Andrew Gutierrez, of the American Family Association. "The place was founded in 1754. It's not like they haven't had time to change the name. There are lots of safe, respectful Christian names. How 'bout 'Springfield'?"

While the Religious Right has not yet mentioned any plans to go after every city or town with a suggestive-sounding name, perhaps the following Pennsylvania towns might want to be on alert for possible future protest marches: Blue Ball, Bird-in-Hand, Virginville, Puseyville, Fertility, Bareville, and Mount Joy.