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Let Us Now Examine Jack Lew's Handwriting Because Why Not

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So it looks like Jacob "Jack" Lew is indeed going to be President Obama's next Treasury Secretary, multiple news outlets reported on Wednesday.

The first question everybody wants answered about him is, naturally, what is the deal with his crazy handwriting?

Here's a taste:

jack lew handwriting

The Daily Mail, the UK's finest news source, back in September 2011 got a handwriting analyst to look at Lew's strange signature, which looks like the blueprints for a roller coaster designed by one of my six-year-olds.

Turns out Lew is a man of mystery!

'The soft roundedness of the letters show he can adapt quickly and make rapid changes, but he's also self-protective. He doesn't want people to see his private side.'

But here's the money quote:

Ms Lowe added that the darker dot under the last loop either signifies Lew has a problem with his ankle - or it may just be the pen.

(h/t Felix Salmon)

Very Important Update: Kevin Roose at New York magazine points out that Lew's lunatic scrawl, which Roose likens to "a slip of paper in Office Max that people use to try out new pens," may soon appear on all of the money!

Super Important Second Update: The blogger Atrios points out that Timothy Geithner also had a fairly unique signature (though not as literally loopy as Lew's). But it appears that he changed his signature to make it look more dignified on a dollar bill. This is perhaps the most important story of our age, so we will keep following it.