Calling All Cynics

A skeptic is someone who is reluctant to trust;
A cynic is someone who refuses to trust;
A pessimist is someone who has given up on trusting.

A skeptic is someone who once trusted and was let down and disappointed;
A cynic is someone who once trusted and was betrayed and devastated;
A pessimist is a cynic who just got tired of fighting, gave up and withdrew.

Deep inside all skeptics and most cynics is a deep ache to trust again,
but to do so without the fear of being let down, disappointed, betrayed or devastated.
Deeper inside pessimists is a willingness to trust again, but it will require tincture of time, the chance to talk (as in vent and then rant and then exhale) their way back into the game, and perhaps a touch of Prozac.

Common to all skeptics, cynics and pessimists is a need to be listened to and to feel understood and have their concerns validated even if there are not any good or quick solutions. If you agree, I hope you'll check out my upcoming book, Just Listen. If you do, you'll discover the secret to getting through to absolutely anyone. It's less important what you tell others, than what you enable them to tell you that really matters to them and that you help them with, because you actually care. If you are burned out (i.e cynical/pessimistic) and don't want to listen, why would anyone want to listen to you?

Follow Mark Goulston, M.D. on Twitter: www.twitter.com/markgoulston

Comments

[DiogenesOfAlaska]

Am I here to tell you something about cynics? You betcha!

[VicDaring]

What?

This skeptic just realized at some point that a lot of stuff I thought I knew turned out to be wrong.

That didn't make me bitter or reluctant to trust. It made me curious. It made me interested in how much stuff we take for granted is based on poor evidence or bad thinking or any one of a number of common logical fallacies.

It's made me look for evidence, even when something seems apparent, because it's taught me that truth is sometime counter-intuitive.

[Mark Goulston, M.D. - Huffpost Blogger]

At the point that you realized you were wrong and changed how you thought based on new information you became "discernin­g."

You are one of those uncommon -- and admirable -- people who move beyond their skepticism and dare to question the way they view the world and then have the courage to change it once provided with facts to the contrary.

You might like a wonderful book entitled, "The 3 Laws of Performance" by Steve Zaffron and Dave Logan which explains how the first law of performance (and a pre-requisite for breakthroughs) is to realize that the way you view the world controls the way you interact with it and that when you change the way you view it, (i.e. from skeptical to informed to otherwise) it will change the way you interact with it.

[VicDaring]

Thanks Doc. Sounds interesting. (Like "The Secret" for less gullible poeple?)

I'll put that on my to-read list.

Of course, with a 2-year-old, stuff keeps getting added to that list and not much ever gets checked off.