I just have one question at this particular moment in time:
Who knew? Who knew, in the wake of all those madcap Christian fundamentalists who ruled like drunken virgins over the Dark Days of Bush, who happily burned books and shunned science and hated on gays and woman and trees, after all of that, who know the right still had such a cavalcade of intellectual toddlers waiting in the wings to come out and play in the fields of Infantile Fantasyland, and further guarantee the party's merciful irrelevance for years to come?
It is curious to ponder. Who knew "the birthers," this horde of fringe Republican funbots who are right now attempting to prove that President Obama was not actually born in Honolulu to mixed-race parentage back in August of '61, but instead was really spawned in some sort of bizarre test-tube experiment in a secret underground bunker in the '20s (or something) -- who knew they were so ready to spring into action? I sure as hell didn't. But Lord, I certainly am grateful. Such entertainment!
Here, then, are nine more lovely suggestions I just whipped up right here at home for the nutball GOP fringe to go after next, once the delightful "birther" thing runs its course and this particular media worm exits the national body with a sigh and a grunt and a bucketful of antibiotics.
Mix and match at your leisure:
- "The Pluggers." A radical group spearheaded by Fox News' in-house comic/psychopath Glenn Beck, absolutely convinced Joe Biden's forest of hair plugs is actually a cluster of tiny antennae, 10,000 little gray transmitters stuck there by a liberal alien species intent on sharing nuke secrets, world domination plans and three-cheese lasagna recipes with Iran.
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