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Mark Osler

Mark Osler

Posted: October 25, 2010 06:52 PM

Repentance of an Anti-Gay Bigot

What's Your Reaction:

In the wake of several suicides of gay teenagers, one response has been through the "It Gets Better" project, which tells the story of gay and lesbians who have a story of hope -- one in which things, over time, got better for them.

That is not my story. I am straight, and though everyone gets made fun of for something, I never faced the relentless teasing, bullying and violence that gay and lesbian kids did and do. In fact, I was a bigot. I didn't take part in violence, but I probably did bully and tease other kids in school, given my attitude toward gays and lesbians when I was young. I know for certain that I did not do anything to stop others from bullying and in that way was complicit with what happened around me.

These actions and inactions were a failure of my faith, both personally and in the failure of the church to teach me anything else. In short, I thought that gays and lesbians (I doubt I knew about bisexuals or transgendered people) were deviant and to be condemned. My bigotry was consistent with what the culture, the church and my friends thought and said, and it was not countered by those who knew better. When I used the word "gay," it was pejorative, and if I thought someone was gay, I kept my distance or worse.

But I got better. I'm not perfect, but better.

What changed? That is simple: A handful of brave men and women changed me, people who were willing to challenge my bigotry through leadership, friendship and warmth.

I went to college at William and Mary, and while I was there I received my first challenge from a brave man that I still have never met. His name is George Greenia, and he is a professor of Hispanic Studies. At that time (1981-1985), William and Mary was a very different place. Despite a significant gay population and underground, it was generally a homophobic culture, which was maintained largely through a lack of public discussion of anything remotely related to the topic of homosexuality. Bigotry, including my own, loves dark places.

This changed because of Prof. Greenia. He, very publicly, began a support group for gays and lesbians despite vicious personal attacks. It was a brave, bold and risky thing to do in Williamsburg, which was essentially a small conservative southern town. I never went to Prof. Greenia's group, but his bold move began to change the way I thought. It was the first time I had ever been part of a community that in any way whatsoever reflected a positive view of gays and lesbians. I began to reexamine my beliefs, and to realize that perhaps they might be wrong.

That process continued when I was in law school at Yale. There, I had a small number of friends who were gay and out. I didn't become friends with them because they were gay. I probably did not even realize that they were gay until after that friendship had been formed. The shape of their kindness was subtle and powerful. At the time, they must have realized that I was a bigot, but they befriended me anyways. This was undeserved grace. Though some of them were not Christian, it was one of the more Christ-like acts I have experienced.

It was these friendships that shook my religious beliefs not only about homosexuality, but my own relationship with God. I had been taught to judge, reject and condemn these friends, but found myself unable to do so. In time, I replaced those teachings with beliefs that reflect the gospels I came to embrace. In those gospels, Christ directs us to harshly judge our own sins, but does not command us to go out into the world and judge those we think are sinners, to change people or to push people away. His command was to love. Are gays and lesbians sinners? It doesn't seem that way to me (other than the way in which we are all sinners), but at some level I really don't care. If it is a sin, it is not my sin. The sin that I need to discern, root out and identify is my own. One of those sins has been bigotry and senseless cruelty. I atone for and seek forgiveness for that now and here.

 
 
 
In the wake of several suicides of gay teenagers, one response has been through the "It Gets Better" project, which tells the story of gay and lesbians who have a story of hope -- one in which things,...
In the wake of several suicides of gay teenagers, one response has been through the "It Gets Better" project, which tells the story of gay and lesbians who have a story of hope -- one in which things,...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
bknott
My Micro-bio is "empty".
05:27 PM on 11/01/2010
A lot of posters seem to have a big problem with your statement, mainly because you are repenting as a Christian, instead of completely rejecting your religion in the process of accepting homosexuality.

I think this black/white interpretation is close-minded. I respect a Christian who's religious beliefs have led to tolerance. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
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OtayPanky
You're welcome
03:30 PM on 10/31/2010
Blogger: If it is a sin, it is not my sin.

---

While I appreciate your personal evolution, you're still part of the problem.

The real point - the point that needs to be hammered home again and again - is that homosexuality is NOT sin. It is NOT a moral issue.

Anyone who says "if it is sin" is still re-upping his membership in the Flat Earth Society.

Really, as a person of good will, you just have to be willing to allow your memes to shift here. You have to be willing to acknowledge the obvious: Our current knowledge from science, as well as our empirical observation of responsible homsexual individuals and couples, make the conclusion obvious and inescapable to any thinking person. Homosexuality is not now, nor ever was, a sin, a moral evil or an abomination - any more than the sun ever revolved around the earth.
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carter2004
02:28 PM on 11/01/2010
I think you're missing his point. He was making a conditional statement and applying the logic of the New Testament to refute it -- e.g., "the log in thine own eye," "physician, heal thyself" etc. The point is, even if you (meaning the religious right) did believe homosexuality was a sin, your argument is still invalid because Christianity -- the basis on which you object -- specifically addresses and rejects your argument.
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OtayPanky
You're welcome
03:49 PM on 11/01/2010
Carter2004: I think you're missing his point.

---

I'm not missing his point at all. He's come to think that Christians are supposed to deal with the log in their own eye, not the splinter in the other guy's eye, to borrow the words of Jesus.

And I'm telling him that the very fact that he calls what he sees, when he looks at a homosexual, a splinter means that he's still part of the problem.

My neighbor's homosexuality isn't a splinter in his eye. It's not a moral defect, much less an abomination. It's his natural gender attraction, just like my natural sexual attraction is heterosexuality.

The science at this point is conclusive. And so is the empirical evidence of countless homosexuals, whose lives as partners and parents is as good, or better, then their hetero counterparts.

So anyone who sees the homosexual through the moral lens of the Bible, as the blogger still does, hasn't yet completed the journey away from anti-homosexual bigotry. He's merely substituted a soft version for his previous hard version.

And that's exactly where I am challenging him. He says that he USED to be a bigot. I say he hasn't yet gotten off the bigotry bus.
08:04 PM on 10/29/2010
Thank you, Mark, for this excellent post that gives people like me hope that Christians can change for the better. You bring out an important point which is that, once a relationship is built with a gay, lesbian, or transgender person, it becomes impossible to judge them. It is because of our distance from them that many Christians so easily bring judgment on these people. We look at Jesus in Scripture and realize that his task was to build relationships. That is, therefore, our task in making disciples of all nations. Instead of treating Matthew 28:19-20 as an injunction to go out and judge all people, we should look at this passage for what it is: a request to go out and develop relationships with people, bringing them the love of Christ. That is what those gay friends of yours did with you, and their love for you transformed you into a more Christ-like person. For those of your desiring to make a change like Mark did, follow my blog at http://whatjesusdiddo.blogspot.com and see how you can change the way you interact with others, responding in the way Jesus really did.
God bless.
-Brandon
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Daleri Rileda
Jungle Jargon
03:03 AM on 10/29/2010
We can't have any meaningful discussion about gays because the real issues are never considered.
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TeraWatt60
Cogito Ergo Sum
12:04 PM on 11/01/2010
What would you consider "real" issues? Like the fact we can not live our lives or even hold or partners hand openly and honestly in many parts of this country because of religion based ignorance and fear? or that we are told by ignorant dufus that it is a "choice" and as such can be hated, even though their true choice of religiosity is not ?
12:09 AM on 10/29/2010
Christ said. Love your enemies as I have loved YOU, (my enemies who I died on the cross, for those who hated me and for all sinners. WE are all sinners, why Christ came) For everyone one of us, have fallen under the Laws of Moses. Christ said: Stop your judging. For those who judge others, will also be judged under the Laws of Moses, not by Mercy. To deny Christ, is to deny oneself, mercy, God's mercy, denying God's Grace also.
12:02 AM on 10/29/2010
I ask would Christ not shack the dust off, his cloak, his scandals, and leave those Christians, anti-gay who boast of their own self righteousness? Sinners judging sinners? Sinners themselves in need of God's Grace his mercy.
11:56 PM on 10/28/2010
I am a sinner and I am in need of God's great mercy, I to will be judged and only God is my judge. I love all for all are dearly loved. God created all in His Image and we are all God's children.
11:42 PM on 10/28/2010
Not even Christ judged no one, only the Father judges. We are told only to judge for ourselves, for our own salvation. Christ taught us how to do so, you will know them by their fruits.

When Christ walked the earth, at that time, anyone who committed, adultry, one was stone to death, by those who also called themselves believers (Christians). No different then what so called Christians are trying to do to others, who call themselves anti-gay? Christ taught us all, with the woman of adultry, that those who professed, such righteousness, were not righteous themselves also. Nor that sinners, can judge sinners, for all were sinners.

Christ said: Those without sin, throw the first stone. No one could, for all knew in their very hearts, Christ knew all their own sins. Sin is sin and all sins separate us from God. Adultry then is like what others are trying to do now, for those who have the right to choose, in ones own personal life. t
10:52 PM on 10/28/2010
If only being gay was as superfical, artifical and easy as being a Christian.
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Daleri Rileda
Jungle Jargon
03:04 AM on 10/29/2010
You are Christian bashing.
08:51 AM on 10/29/2010
No I'm not. It's the contention of some Christians that gays can be cured or it's a choice. The reality is that it's easier to change Gods than sexual orientation. Really straight people belong to all kinds of religions as well some gays. If I were to believe some Christians, they could more easily become gay than say leave the Baptist and become Luthern.

This isn't bashing, it's pointing out the flaw in their belief, that it is based on making the world resemble what they believe than what it actually is.
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DannyEVillage
03:19 PM on 10/31/2010
no he isn't. he's showing how absurdly easy it is to assume a posture of "righteousness." You are thought-policing. And doing a very bad job of it.
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TeraWatt60
Cogito Ergo Sum
12:07 PM on 11/01/2010
You are correct...being gay is as much a "choice" as being left-handed, but being a "Christian" is not just a choice but takes conscious effort to maintain the level of ignorance to condemn gay people
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redsquirell
red squire LL
09:33 PM on 10/28/2010
After God turned Lot's wife into a pillar of salt then had Lot's daughters get him drunk and screw him in a cave so he might have a male heir, he sort of lost the moral high ground to say the least. People like their Bible on the "cafeteria plan". Defend some, defend all. Anyone remember Jesus' two commandments?
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TeraWatt60
Cogito Ergo Sum
12:11 PM on 11/01/2010
not to mention that the "Sin of Sodom" was not homosexuality but being rude to guests (tourists) and wanting to engage in unwilling sex with them
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Soulmentor
"To thine own self be true...."
07:56 PM on 10/28/2010
"Truth of Scripture" is a phrase that keeps cropping up in these conversations. The anti-gay religious try to use it like a weapon while refusing to examine that "Truth". They think they "study" the Bible simply by reading it and being able to quote chapter and verse while actually knowing little about it.

What is Truth? Anti-gay "christians", do you remember that question? Do you remember the answer? You better not answer that except to say it was silence. Jesus did not answer it. Ever wonder why?
Perhaps because it was standing before the face of a man blinded by his own "truth"; standing there in reality, not coming from a book of ancient writings written by MEN (!) who, by today's standards would be considered ignorant, essentially illiterate, superstitious and mentally suspect.
Is your answer to the question The Bible, or Jesus? Regardless of what you may wish to think, they are not the same.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
messy
artist, writer, adventurer
04:53 PM on 10/28/2010
Straights get it really bad too. Boys bully girls, girls bully boys. Life is hell for everyone except for the tiny elite. That's school. Kids are barbarians always have been always will be. Being nasty brutish and short until the end of the sophamore year of high school is hardwired into the human brain. The short part usually goes away, but the other two never really leave.
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cesar delarosa
10:41 AM on 10/29/2010
So is this your defense to justify gay bullying? Are you condoning bullying? And no that's not school I do not know what backwater ignorant school you crawled out from but the school I have been have been very diverse and the bullying did not go past one joke or a remark that was later condemned.
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TeraWatt60
Cogito Ergo Sum
12:13 PM on 11/01/2010
spare me...if you saw or see bullying and or it is reported to you and you do nothing...you are as guilty and responsible for the consequences as the original bully... contemptible
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wbthacker
Can YOU pass the Turing Test?
04:41 PM on 10/28/2010
In my previous post I discussed how gay people learn to deal with the cognitive dissonance of being surrounded by people they love, but who are homophobic. I think maybe the author's college friends found the same solution I did; an understanding that good people can do bad things because they have bad information, through no fault of their own. To me, homophobia is more of an error of fact than a character flaw. This might explain the behavior Prof. Osler so kindly described as "Christ-like," expressing love for people who hate you.

I know the professor said this with sincerity and respect. Thank you, but it's misplaced.

Some gay kids handle this dissonance differently than I did. Some of them put more value on their respect for loved ones, and try to agree with them, internalizing their homophobia. "I trust my mom, my mom says gays are abominable, I'm gay, so I must be abominable." Convinced of that, they commit suicide.

If you're looking for Christ-like behavior, it's right there. They didn't just love those who hated them -- their loved ones (unwittingly) emotionally *crucified* them. When these poor kids died it was for the sins of others.
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saami
Cranky old lady
04:28 PM on 10/28/2010
I think it might help if straight people asked themselves just when did they decide to be straight? The answer is I didn't decide, I just was. It is the same for homosexual people or transgendered people of bisexual people.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Json
Cynical dreamer, sarcastic idealist...
04:59 PM on 10/28/2010
For me it was when I was 6 years old. I discovered boobies and decided to spend the rest of my life trying to touch them :)
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redsquirell
red squire LL
09:08 PM on 10/28/2010
"...it get's better..."
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Daleri Rileda
Jungle Jargon
06:02 AM on 10/29/2010
Who are you trying to convince? Children don't even think about sex until they learn about it. You also cannot be anything that you are not. So much propaganda nonsense from the media trying to convince people of things that don't exist.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
drfast
Looking Forward
10:16 AM on 10/29/2010
The idea of "sex" and gender identity/sexual orientation are two different things. I agree that children do not think about sex, but a child's orientation is clear early if a parent pays close attention. If you are straight you move through the developmental process with hardly any notice that things are different or strange. If you are homosexual/bi/transgendered it becomes clear early on that you are different from others.
Homosexuality is not a choice anymore than heterosexuality is a choice. I'm sorry if this fact does not make sense to you.
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GeorgeBurnsWasRight
My micro-bio is running on empty.
08:34 AM on 10/30/2010
Kids play around with each other and expose themselves to each other. That's sexual behavior, but in the manner of children. Adult sexual behavior is different but not entirely separate.
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wbthacker
Can YOU pass the Turing Test?
03:30 PM on 10/28/2010
It's a tough job - trying to reconcile one's personal understanding that gay people are really OK with the very clear language in the Bible that says the opposite.

As an atheist, I offer that the Gordian knot is best cut by understanding there is no God, just people who claim to represent him. Good people like the author experience cognitive dissonance over the bigotry in the Bible, and they know it doesn't seem like something God would care about. They're entirely correct, though their faith makes it hard for them to understand why.

As a gay man, I appreciate this phenomenon on deeper level. Every gay person has had to learn how to love homophobes. In our youth, as we were discovering that we were gay, we also learned that the people we love -- parents, siblings, or friends -- hated gay people. But love and trust go together; how do you handle it when someone you trust says you're despicable?

So I feel some connection with the author, trying to reconcile his trust in God with evidence that God is a bigot.

I got by by realizing that people don't always mean what they say, and also that people could be dead wrong on one issue but still be good people. Bigots were actually good people acting on bad information, and I could love them despite their mistake. Unfortunately, that excuse won't work for God.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
drfast
Looking Forward
10:17 AM on 10/29/2010
God is not a bigot, people are bigots.
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Marc NL
47,3% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
06:22 PM on 11/03/2010
God is a creation of man.