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Mark Redmond

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Never Judge a Church By Its Cover

Posted: 03/22/11 08:28 PM ET

The email flashed across my screen at work.

"Who is available next Sunday, 10am, to go to a church to pick up some items their fifth grade youth group wants to donate to us?"

The message was from a staff member at Spectrum, where I serve as executive director in Burlington, Vt. Spectrum is a nonprofit organization, and we provide care to teenagers who are homeless, runaways, disconnected from families, in trouble with the law, addicted to drugs and alcohol or some combination of all of these.

I hit the reply button and asked, "Which church?"

It turned out it was a church only about two miles from my house, so I volunteered to go. But I did so with some misgivings. The truth is, I didn't really like that church. It is an evangelical church, and it is physically large, modern, reminding me of a WalMart or a Costco building. To use the currently popular term, it is a megachurch. I also recalled reading a news article about this church expanding Sunday services to the local cineplex, with a photo of congregants seated in the new stadium seating there. This of course only reinforced my misgivings. I'm a Catholic, my wife is a Catholic, and we have always attended Catholic churches. In my mind, these megachurches promote a pie-in-the-sky, feel-good spirituality bereft of any emphasis on social justice and reaching out to the poorest of the poor. Whatever problems the Catholic Church may have, it does not give short shrift to Jesus's teachings about feeding the hungry, sheltering the homeless and challenging the underpinnings of a society and economy which create such suffering. It is the Church of Dorothy Day, Oscar Romero, the martyred El Salvador missionaries and others whom I so admire.

But if the fifth graders of this particular megachurch were willing to donate some items to the homeless teenagers staying at Spectrum, I was certainly willing to swallow my prejudices for one hour. So I showed up on the appointed Sunday morning and found my way to the room where the fifth graders were waiting for me. There were about 20 children sitting cross-legged on the floor. Four other adults were with them. I was introduced to the children and did my standard five-minute presentation on what Spectrum is, who the young people are that we help, and why they are on the streets and without families. Then one of the adults there, a male, carried up a laundry basket full of things like deodorant, toothpaste and shaving cream, and placed it before me, announcing that these were things the kids had collected for our teenagers. I thanked them, saying that I'd be certain to deliver them to young people who needed such items.

I started for the door, when this same man motioned for me to stay.

"Amy, can you please show Mr. Redmond what you brought?"

I stopped and watched this 11-year-old girl dragging a black duffel bag up to the front of the room. She unzipped it, and I peered inside, then started pulling out a set of sheets, towels and washcloths. I started joking with the kids, "Hey look, here is some dental floss, everyone needs that, right?" They laughed along, and then I heard this man say, "Amy, show Mr. Redmond what else is in there." She reached into the duffel bag, pulled a Bible out of it, and handed it to him. I could see a card sticking out, which he handed over to me. "To a Young Man at Spectrum" was handwritten on the front of the card.

"Why don't you tell Mr. Redmond why you and your family are donating these things to Spectrum?"

"I had a teenage brother," she said, "but he died last year. So my family wants to give these things to a boy like him who can use them."

I opened the card. On the front was written, "Always remember..." and on the inside, "God is watching over you." A picture of this girl's brother was taped to the other inside flap -- a smiling young man, happy, standing in front of a building. Under his picture was written, "Given in memory of Brad," with the dates of his birth and death. He was only 19. Also inscribed was "God bless you, from the family of Brad."

I leaned over to the adult and whispered, "How did he die?"

"Heroin overdose," he answered.

My heart just broke when I heard that. That's one of the main things we do at Spectrum -- work with kids who are addicted to drugs or alcohol, trying to help them break free, and some are heroin addicts. I looked at the face of this young man Brad. Somehow we missed him. Maybe he never heard of us. Maybe he was too ashamed to come in for help. Maybe he overdosed his first time using. I'll never know, but it just cut right through me to be looking at him there, smiling. I could just feel the agony of that family in the writing on that card.

I reached over and hugged Amy. I held her tight, thanking her for the gift she had given. I promised to give the duffel bag to a young man who was homeless and could really use it. I looked over at the adults in the room, and I could see they were near tears. So was I.

I learned a lot that day in the megachurch. I was reminded that the heartbreak of addiction and early death can happen not only with kids who have no families and therefore live on the streets, but with kids who do have supportive families, some degree of financial means and even attend church. I was reminded that addiction reaches beyond all socioeconomic and racial boundaries; it clutches where it will.

And I learned, once again, for the umpteenth time in my life, not to judge. I judged that church. I put all kinds of nasty labels on it. But I was wrong. Like any other church, including the Catholic Church, there are good people who go there, people who care about others, people who want more than pie-in-the-sky religion. And some of those people are incredibly wounded, scarred by what life has dealt them. They go to Church to worship, but they also go in order to find healing, comfort and compassion.

That's why I keep a photocopy of that card, including Amy's brother's picture, and periodically look at it, with the hope that it'll keep me from judging any person or any house of worship again.

 
 
 

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The email flashed across my screen at work. "Who is available next Sunday, 10am, to go to a church to pick up some items their fifth grade youth group wants to donate to us?" The message was from ...
The email flashed across my screen at work. "Who is available next Sunday, 10am, to go to a church to pick up some items their fifth grade youth group wants to donate to us?" The message was from ...
 
 
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07:38 PM on 05/05/2011
But we have to live in a imperfect world and it is up to everyone to make a difference for the good of all
07:35 PM on 05/05/2011
This offends a lot of people,but the people of the Old and New Testament lived it and many years later we are still seeing what they had seen.
07:31 PM on 05/05/2011
When you through the basic statements of Christ,the Prophets and the Apostles about the moral and natural laws of God away we have a pretty good description of whats been happening here in America.
07:28 PM on 05/05/2011
Here is what I gather from the text.Tax collectors gathered more from the masses than they were supposed to collect.The roman currency was traded for the shekel and there was a charge for it.The rich had more than enough but thought nothing of the homeless starving.The law was preached but not practiced.These were some of the statements that were mentioned by Christ and the Apostles.Morality was falling apart.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Terri Lorz
10:54 AM on 03/28/2011
I think church buildings from the various religions - are beautiful. Terri Jo Lorz
03:18 AM on 03/28/2011
Beautiful
05:21 PM on 03/26/2011
A wonderful and refreshing article. Thanks.
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Johnny Steps
I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest
02:38 PM on 03/26/2011
It's wrong to judge all it's congregants character on the church, but there's nothing wrong with being opposed ideologically to the church itself. I'm ideologically opposed to the Catholic Church for it's treatment of AIDS and pedophelia but that doesn't mean I see you and Spectrum in a negative light.
05:03 PM on 03/27/2011
Of course, you don't really KNOW anything about either of these, do you? For example, regarding how the Catholic Church treats AIDS, approximately 25% of care provided to AIDS sufferers worldwide is provided by Catholic-church-related organizations, with such organizations being the leading providers of care in sub-Saharan Africa, where the epidemic is greatest. Of course, you have been told that the pope is wrong, and that somehow condoms are involved -- but did you know that the senior AIDS researcher at the Harvard School of Public Health concurred that using the distribution of condoms as the primary method for solving the AIDS epidemic in Africa was a mistake?
http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/227110/saint-peters-square-harvard-square/kathryn-jean-lopez

And as for "pedophelia" [sic], just what do you think you know? Do you know that the accusations involve only 2% of all priests ordained over the last 40 years? Do you know that the vast majority of the alleged acts involved not "pedophilia", but homosexual contact with post-pubescent males? Do you know that the proportion of married adult men who have sexual contact with persons under 18 is about six times that of Catholic clergy?

What you think you are "ideologically opposed to" is not the Catholic Church, but a caricature of it constructed out of fictions and ignorance. To declare yourself "opposed" to something about which you have neither accurate information or real understanding actually puts *you* in a negative light.
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Johnny Steps
I'd rather waltz than just walk through the forest
06:10 PM on 03/27/2011
Literally none of that changed my opinion in the slightest, if you want to make excuses to justify being a fan boy of the pope I'm sure you'll never run out of them. Your cherry picked justification will sway no one but yourself.
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DevonTexas
Eternal Optimism
05:10 PM on 03/24/2011
Wow. If more churches were like that, they wouldn't suffer from the poor PR that they do. Nice story. But it also proves that a church is but a reflection of the people it houses. And you're right about the fact that you can't judge a church by its cover just as you can judge a person by their looks or sexual orientation.... but that rarely stops them.
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Phil Waste
Angry Middle Class American Citizen
05:07 PM on 03/24/2011
Why would anyone want to worship an 'Space Alien'? Your made up 'GOD' is not of this earth according to your own writings. So, why would you want to worship this 'Space Alien' and bend a knee to him and his kid? Are you out of your minds?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Phil Waste
Angry Middle Class American Citizen
04:49 PM on 03/24/2011
The church over the centuries has not shown love or compassion but has been the harbinger of death and destruction. To bad you can't ask Galileo how much love and compassion he was shown. The church is very dangerous and is in no way benevolent.

Christians today are being sold a bill of goods and the best thing they can do for themselves is cast out the devils and devils and lairs they are. Religion has no place in the modern world.

Religions sole purpose is the keep the common man from killing the rich.
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04:29 PM on 03/26/2011
Galileo, Galileo, what about the thousands of Christians around the world who are doing good now? Feeding hungry children, educating young people neglected by their governments, opposing oppression etc etc (I do not need to add names). I may not agree with a religion but I think it is fair to look at things as they are are. The way Churches get branded is the same way some people tend to think that all white people are racists at heart and nothing can be done to change their racism. Think about slavery, Jim Crow south, etc etc. You would tell me that NOT all white people are racist and that some of them actually fought against slavery and segregation. Why then is is hard to see the same of religious institutions? Are we so opposed to Christianity that we only see the dark sides which even the Catholic Church has apologized?
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JDuck
Until we know the equal we'll never feel the free.
11:01 AM on 03/24/2011
"They go to Church to worship, but they also go in order to find healing, comfort and compassion. "

Those I appreciate the spirit of this article and the author's experience, I cannot help but also feel for those who the churches fail for their anit-gay, anti-non-Christian doctrines.

Many may go to churches to find Jesus, love, compassion and support only to find that thier god also hates who they are.

My wish is for ALL churches to wake up to the pain many are causing instead of healing.
de-meme-ing
Buying USA Feeds USA, Supports/Preserves USA
09:20 AM on 03/24/2011
"Whatever problems the Catholic Church may have, it does not give short shrift to Jesus's teachings about feeding the hungry, sheltering the homeless and challenging the underpinnings of a society and economy which create such suffering. "

What they won't do is challenge the Vatican, nor the doctrines of a church that help create, the hungry, homeless, drug addicted, battered and brusied.

What you won't see is a Catholic who carries a placard in one hand protesting abortion, and in the other pedophilia, or spouse abuse.
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04:30 PM on 03/26/2011
Its because they flush them out.
05:13 PM on 03/27/2011
Precisely which Catholic doctrines "create the hungry, homeless, drug addicted", etc.?

Or shall we simply assume that this statement was not meant to be factual, and was instead flung in to add drama to the hyperbole? Let us know, so that we shall not be bothered by grotesque inaccuracy, and instead, bringing to mind John Belushi in Animal House, can simply say "forget it; he's rolling".
de-meme-ing
Buying USA Feeds USA, Supports/Preserves USA
06:25 PM on 03/27/2011
I think you need to figure that one out for yourself, don't you?
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NoSandwiches
08:30 AM on 03/24/2011
I accidentally clicked on this on my phone. I saw the headline and had no intention of reading. You get desperate at 3am sometimes, so I read it and was moved to tears. And I'm an atheist.
de-meme-ing
Buying USA Feeds USA, Supports/Preserves USA
09:52 AM on 03/24/2011
Yes, it brought back some bad memories for me too. While the internet riles at pie-in-the-sky evangelicals, accusing them of short shrifting the teachings of Jesus, I am reminded of very dear pie-in-the-sky friends who lost a son, horrifically to drug addiction. Having finally gotten him into rehab, he jumped out a 26 story window, while detoxing.

That said, they were one of the most socially minded people I know, avid environmentalists, staunch supporters of American jobs, and buying USA made products. They refused to purchase from mega store's, unless absolutely necessary, and shopped local, supporting independent small business. To them, small business was the back bone of America, and the only true source of fair and equitable redistribution of wealth. Of course that was back in the late 70's when most of us were abandoning such ideas, labling such people "fundamentals".

They were deeply faithful and committed to the pie-in-the-sky, and remained so after their son's death, though it sure took a hit.

I have never met a pie-in-the sky person who doesn't know that suffering is part of this world. I have never met one who doesn't know that much of our suffering could be prevented with politically and economically sound practices. They tend toward being deeply committed patriots, which often appears a sin in the non-pie-in-the-sky-world.
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ninetailedfox
banning people.....so childish
08:20 AM on 03/24/2011
As far as drugs go, many parents dont talk to their kids about drugs or sex or anything else for that matter. Maybe its time parents stepped up to the plate, even if parents are busy, they should at least leave a note or an email for their kids.