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What's in Your Right Pocket?

Posted: 02/ 2/2012 7:46 am

This post is part of a series on childhood poverty in the United States in partnership with Save the Children and Julianne Moore. Moore leads the organization's Valentine's Day campaign, through which cards are sold to support the fight against poverty in the U.S. To learn more or to purchase the cards, click here.

I was seven-years-old. I awoke to the sound of my brother sleeping soundly in the bed next to me and the sound of the snow curling off our roof and falling in a thud on the ground. The sun was just kissing the icicles that hung off the gutter.

It was Christmas Eve. The smell of bacon, eggs and cinnamon french toast permeated our home.

My grandmother was downstairs serving food with a cigarette dangling from her mouth. She was shooing everyone toward the table.

"Eat, eat, EAT!" as she corralled any stragglers, with a pot of coffee in one hand and a wooden spatula in the other.

We ate, laughed at old stories and drank coffee, milk and juice. We bombarded Santa Claus with last minute requests and tried to trick our parents into telling us what would be under the tree when we woke the next morning.

"Do we have batteries just in case I get my race track? Because no place is open to get batteries on Christmas Day," I reasoned.

"The race track doesn't need batteries," my mother explained.

"Ha! I fooled you; then I am getting a race track because you wouldn't have known it took batteries if you didn't get it already." She was mine.

"You will have to take that up with Santa."

"Bah Humbug, Mom."

We laughed.

My father said he wanted us to remember that there was a lot more to Christmas than getting presents, which is pretty standard fare in any home during this gluttonous time of year.

Then he added: "I have something planned for you guys today. We are going to deliver food and presents to some people who won't have such a great Christmas." That was news to us.

We drove slowly through the mounds of snow that the plows missed or piled up. We were outside town and the homes got farther and farther apart. This was where the dairy farms and vegetable farms once stood before the big supermarket chains opened up.

The houses were old, boxy, three-story affairs that sat off the road on long driveways. They were in disrepair, their porches leaning in screwy ways. Smoke spun from their chimneys in long fading lines. In some homes there was no sign of life at all: no Christmas lights, no Christmas trees, only white blankets of snow, sagging roofs, uneven porches and the erosion of time.

We stopped in front of a smaller version of the same kind of house. The driveway hadn't been plowed but the house sat closer to the road and a thin bead of white drew a line from its chimney to the sky.

"Do we know these people, Dad?"

"No, we heard they needed a little help."

"Who are they?"

"It's a mom and her two kids -- their father died. They spent all their money trying to save him when he was sick. They don't have any family here to help," my mother explained. "We made our way with grocery bags full of food and wrapped presents with tags taped to them simply labeled "boy," "girl," and "mom."

"Merry Christmas!" my father said cheerily. We followed him inside. The house was freezing. We didn't even take off our jackets. The mother began to cry upon seeing us. In the next room, there was a boy and girl, they stood near each other wearing a heavy sweeter and a dress. They looked shy and uncertain.

"Take the kids to see the house," said their mother.

There were several rooms shut off from the house to preserve the heat coming out of the wood burning stove in the kitchen. Upstairs there was one room with a door open and there was a bed on the mattress covered with several blankets. Their clothes were on hangers hanging from a length of cord stretched across the room. There was a broken BB gun and an old Barbie doll for play. There were a few worn children's books.

"This is where we all sleep. It's too cold to play here during the day," the boy said.

My throat was in a knot. How could this be? How could this happen with so many caring and loving people in the world? What do we do? How do we help?

I really liked that boy. I felt so badly for him. He seemed so much older than he was and couldn't be made to smile or really talk.

This was my introduction to poverty. It was very powerful. To go from all that we had. Even in the simplest terms to what little these folks had made a very strong impression on me. Their cupboards were bare. They had no presents, no family, nothing but whatever the government and church groups could give them. The mother was looking for a job but hadn't found one yet.

This was in the seventies. At that time 25.5 million people in the U.S. lived below the poverty line. Today 46.2 million people live below poverty in the U.S. During the past two decades, we have seen a cutback in social programs to help these kinds of people.

Forgo the rhetoric momentarily and imagine what it costs people, their children, their lives.

The one thing I know: when I saw this as a boy, I wanted to help these people. So did my brother and my two sisters. It changed us. It made us much more compassionate to those who had less than us.

Compassion is within us innately as people and as a nation.

So ask yourself: how much more than enough do you need? Whatever that amount is, there is always a little bit more left over for those who don't have even close to enough.

My mother told us when someone suffering asks you for money reach into your right pocket at that moment and give them whatever is there. She meant that literally as well as figuratively. She wanted us to always carry with us that spirit of generosity.

If something is being asked of you then, don't ball up. Be expansive and be part of the human family. Even if what is there is only a small amount, then give a little. Only you know what you need.

What's in your right pocket?

 

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OneTop
Uh, is that a beer hall?
07:47 PM on 02/05/2012
We have more poor today than at any time since records were kept, yet the nation is richer than it has ever been at any time in history.

1959 40 million
1969 28 million
1973 24 million
1975 25 million
1985 33 million
1995 36 million
2005 37 million
2010 46 million

Charitable acts are indeed noble and are certainly needed as millions in the richest nation in the history of the world depend on that charity to survive.

Perhaps it's a shame that people accept that a traditional role of the State to advance the well-being of all people, has been pawned off on charities, individual donations and non-profits. As the frightful numbers tell us, no longer is the judicious use of national wealth concerned with the disadvantaged groups in American society.

Beyond the indisputable fact that charities cannot address the scope of the problem, the donors become the one's who decide what cause is worthy and what is not. (Komen et al)

The rise of the neo-liberal era (aka Chicago school, Friedman, trickle-down, supply-side et al) have clearly focused socioeconomic goals on privatization, globalization and deregulation. The concept of the public good is being eroded at the expense of the 99% in favour of the 1%.

We should all be asking why do those who are born into poverty, fall into poverty and the working poor have to rely upon charity to survive in the richest nation on earth?
07:35 PM on 02/05/2012
Your mother is right, what’s in your pocket is symbolic to what's in your heart, if compassion is in your heart then compassion would come out of your pocket.



Eileen Chatman
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Freethinking American
Reason begets humanity for humanity
07:29 PM on 02/05/2012
Sorry, but I couldn't get beyond the fact that a family was destitute because America refuses to provide health care to all, despite our prosperity. The notion that health care is available only to those who can work and the rich, who like Romney don't need to work, is an obscenity. We are a better country than that. Single payer for all, the same system our useless, self-centered politicians enjoy.
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thorrsman
Why should I define myself by quoting others?
09:19 PM on 02/05/2012
America DOES already provide health care to all. It is just a matter of who pays for it. A responsible person pays for his own care rather than demanding that the government take money from his neighbors to pay for his care.
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Freethinking American
Reason begets humanity for humanity
05:07 AM on 02/06/2012
You really believe that all Americans have access to ADEQUATE health care? I don't count going to an emergency room for treatment of a chronic disease as a defensible or reasonable approach (but it sure allows defenders of the present intolerable system to claim, as you do, that "America does provide health care to all"). We provide "free" education and "free" military defense for all as necessary conditions for pursuing happiness, shouldn't adequate "free" health care be part of that?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
DeniseDuffieldThomas
Coach and Author of Lucky B*tch
05:36 PM on 02/05/2012
Really touching article - your parents gave you a valuable gift that Christmas.
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Mike Cofta
05:34 PM on 02/05/2012
Good job, brother cheeshead...
04:12 PM on 02/05/2012
Such a great article. Thank you for writing and submitting. My only wish is that there was a larger audience that could read it. Thank you again Mark Ruffalo!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Post31
Good grief!!!
01:38 PM on 02/05/2012
Thank you and God bless.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Mark MacDonald
Pass the Scotch
11:59 AM on 02/05/2012
Personally, I have never understood why anybody would need more than 100K a year. But the older I get the less I feel comfortable telling other people to do with their money of any other aspect of their lives. Still, there are many people who need help. Good message Mr. Ruffalo. And a fine piece of writing.
10:53 AM on 02/05/2012
I didn't read anything political in this post. All Mr.Ruffalo was talking about was to help those in need if you are able. I am not wealthy nor am I poor, but it's my personal belief, that I have a moral obligation to help those less forunate than I. That is my perosnal choice. I am not worried that my taxes pay for social programs. Why shouldn't they? I would rather my taxes go for having a breakfast program for less advantaged children than pay for the neverending war machine. Next time you see a homeless person, instead of looking away and saying something snide, think: maybe this is Jesus. Then what would you do?
12:23 PM on 02/05/2012
I ask him to turn water into beer and buffalo wings and to pull up a chair. Time for the superbowl.
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American Subversive
Don't punish profit creators: workers & consumers.
10:32 AM on 02/05/2012
But Mark, this is post-Reagan Uh'merica, where candidates such as Ron Paul, who want to completely eradicate the socio-economic advances of the 20th century, generate enough support to run in the presidential election! Your altruism is out, and in it's place resides a vile, social Darwinism.
12:23 PM on 02/05/2012
Cool. Count me in for Ron Paul.
08:43 AM on 02/05/2012
We give more, as a people, than the rest of the world combined. This is on top of what our Government gives from our taxes. You might want to ask the Bidens and the Obama's about what is in their right pockets. Have you seen the HUGE disparity between what Democrat leaders donate to charity each year combined to Republicans?
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Lwordsquared
Liberal Lesbian
11:30 PM on 03/01/2012
The DemocratIC President Obama gave 14 percent, same as Romney (10% as tithe to the Church of LDS).
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Vballboy60
The Dudes abides...with the moderation
06:59 AM on 02/05/2012
Charity was spoken of in many religious texts.

For example: the Old Testament of the Bible commanded Jews to ""When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. Leave them for the poor and the alien. I am the LORD your God." (Leviticus 23:22)

And the New Testament instructed Christians to be fair to the poor via the Gospels and Jesus' teaching that, " "For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in." (Matthew 25:35)

Most religions command their followers to look after the disadvantaged.

In greater spirituality, Buddhism and many spiritual paths recognize alms giving that " involves giving materially to another as an act of virtue."

I just don;t understand how some sectarian American Christians disagree with alms giving within government?
12:30 PM on 02/05/2012
It also says to stone prostitutes. I don't do that either.

People (me for one) disagree with "alms giving within the government" because it is done by force. It is legalized theft. It is forced redistribution aimed at, oddly enough, a large voting block for one political party. Roughly 47% of the American public pays no taxes at all. Some of those are actually given a tax "refund" which is absurd since they gave nothing to be refunded. That means we have two classes, not three....a Making Class and a Taking Class.
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Lwordsquared
Liberal Lesbian
11:32 PM on 03/01/2012
"Some of those are actually given a tax "refund" which is absurd since they gave nothing to be refunded."

You mean like GE?
02:44 AM on 03/02/2012
Oh...you mean like the same GE who dumped so much money into the Obama campaign and bought their own zero tax rate? Yea...like them.
04:12 AM on 02/05/2012
Thanks for posting this inspiring message. Giving generously and cheerfully to those in need, miraculously transforms one's life for the better. I'm so grateful that the Holy Spirit has opened up my heart and wallet. I feel like Scrooge waking up on Christmas Day, joyful to be alive again.
01:59 AM on 02/05/2012
But didn't Romney say there was a safety net? That's why he's not concerned about the very poor?
12:46 PM on 02/05/2012
There is a safety net, and a very abused safety net at that. American people living below the poverty level are some of the best fed and wealthiest people in the world.
08:31 PM on 02/05/2012
Quite an imaginative response. I'm sure, following Marie Antoinette's suggestion, they all eat cake. Why aren't they all starving like they are supposed to be doing?
10:10 AM on 02/03/2012
Mr. Ruffalo's blog is a a reminder to all of us to honestly assess our personal situations and to ask ourselves if WE can do anything to help those who are suffering or less fortunate than ourselves. He did not mention governmental intervention at all--he is talking about human beings being human and personally inserting themselves into the growing problem of poverty in our country. We who are more fortunate than others can always find a way to help. For example, we could forego the purchase of an expensive item that we don't really like a $5 cup of coffee, a $150 handbag (or any other item that we purchase out of want rather than need) to give that money to the less fortunate. Many of us really don't have to dig that deep or break our own personal banks to be a little more humane and generous toward the poor. Why don't we stop diverting the conversation towards the governmental references and focus on the real meaning of this blog which seems to me to be whether many of us can do a personal assessment and find the heart and the resources to help others. Thank you, Mr. Ruffalo, for bringing us back to this very human and personal responsibility.